I am in my 30s and starting to FINALLY live and enjoy life! I enjoy a crazy mix of activities and have a true passion for teaching, children’s books, crafts, yoga, coffee, running, fashion , decorating and fun. My problem is……..fitting it all in! I am trying to find a healthy balance in life and continue to find myself because I am loving who I am!
My blog will focus on what makes up ME. I used to be associated with health fitness and nutrition and after a recent relapse with my evil ED (eating disorder) I have decided to make a place for others in recovery to have a positive and “safe” place to read and remember that there is more to life than your next meal, restricting or weight. In recovery I have had to decrease my exercise and increase my calories, which anyone knows can be difficult. It is difficult to stay on track where there are so many natural triggers out there! I know that in time I will be at a better place, but for now I want to surround myself with things, people and places that add to my life, not cause anxiety.
I have been a special education teacher (multiply disabled, self-contained) for the past six years. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE my job and my students, although it can be very overwhelming at times. I can truly say that I enjoy waking up every morning and going to school (“work”) I am excited to see my students and see what goals they will accomplish that day, no matter how big or small. I love mixing real life and my own passions into my teaching to make it more interesting not only for myself, but for my students as well. I love children’s books, crafts and most of all……love hearing what children have to say/share and how they think!
I also love to run. Its my “me” time. I run in the morning, before school…..early. I love the darkness, the solitude and that occasional angry raccoon that chases me (Yes! several times in fact!) I am also a yogi and find its been an effective and natural stress reliever and made me realize just how much I really WAS abusing my body all these years!
About my ED. I have struggled with an ED since I was about 15. I try to think back how my mind felt then, because that’s all I want for myself now. To NOT have to think about food all the time, what to eat, what not to eat, whats good, whats bad, etc etc etc. I want to give my body what it needs, when it needs it and let it naturally tell me what it needs and wants. I have discovered many reasons for my ED. Perfectionism is the main culprit, and never thinking I was good enough. I have dealt with family addictions, two failed marriages to addicts and the passing of my amazing, inspirational and the REASON I am a special education teacher, my Brother, Matthew. Matthew was autistic. He is the reason I do what I do and love what I do. He never spoke but yet he “told” me and taught me so much. He was probably the most amazing person I have ever met. His strength, courage and determination are my inspiration. He was always happy, he did what he wanted, when he wanted. I love that about him. I miss him dearly everyday, but know he is looking out for me and smiling knowing that I would not be where I am today without him.
I plan on using my blog to talk about my ED recovery, my new love of life, friendships, mind and body, fashion, coffee (i LOVE coffeeeeeeee) and teaching!