Weekend Update and Week Ahead

This weekend I…..

Went to bed super early Friday night. I was not feeling great. Sinuses, anxious, blah!  I woke up SUPER early on Saturday (5:30) took Lily out and there was NO NEWSPAPER 😦  I went inside, made my coffee and “boom”………..delivery!  🙂  Wooo hoo

 

About 30 minutes later  BOOM………..ANOTHER PAPER  LOL  Oh well, at least I got it, right!?

Saturday Morning I went for a little run.  The weather was perfect!  BUT for once it did NOT make me feel better……at all.  It didnt make me feel worse, but it did not give me the “high” it used to.  This is actually really GOOD.  It is making me realize that it wasn’t running that was helping me feel better…….I always thought that NOT running gave me anxiety and icky feelings, however I learned today that is not the case.  Something else is bothering me, it is NOT running, and I need to figure it out

During my run, several people passed me……even an injured runner passed me.  Its ok.  really, it was.  I could care less. I was happy. An entire running group passed me………even their slowest runners passed me.  One guy asked me “So what is this your easy run!?”.  I said “No, its just my run”.

 I even STOPPED to talk with my friend, which I would have NEVER allowed myself to do before (What, me, stop?!  No way, I would be a failure!)

After my “run”, I stretched a bit and hit a few yard sales in Moorestown (I ran by them and they looked great)

 My absolute FAVORITE house on Main Street in Moorestown……..the owners are moving 😦 I am so bummed, they always kept it so nice, neat, and decorated so uniquely!  So I stopped, nothing really caught my eye, BUT I loved their backyard patio. I have always been curious as to what the backyard looked like!  Had to take  a pic for inspiration!

 

 

Then met mom and dad at the Fall fair in Marlton 🙂  It was my favorite by far.  It was unique, cute and well organized.  I felt like the stuff was different from the “other” festivals I go to……had some great freebies too! I got so many wonderful ideas for school, home, etc 🙂  ( I looked for Denise, but NO luck, it was CROWDED and hot!)

 

Spotted this for my friend lol

How cute would this be for Lily’s leash!  🙂

Love this !

I am really loving starfish these days

Ok, so I really wanted to get one of these necklaces. They remind me of “OZ”.  Maybe next time 🙂

BEER soap!  Pretty cool!

I want to get some burlap bags and try to recreate these. SUPER CUTE!

 

Andddddd………convinced dad into getting a chair massage. He NEEDS one. I wish he would splurge and get them monthly.  He works on his feet all day and has so much pain 😦  He really enjoyed it

 

 

(Mom got one too!!)

 I did NOT buy anything at the craft fest, BUT did stop at Kohls to use my free $10….It smells amazing

 

Then I did some cooking!! All these fresh, yummy veggies are in season!  I HAD to! (Polish Chocolate IS a veggie!  🙂  )

Bolognese sauce (for weekly meals/lunches)

 

Eggplant and chicken dish! YUM

**There was missing something?!?!?! Not much flavor.Kind of bland. It was good, but nothing remarkable. Maybe it will taste better tomorrow?

 

Organic Wine 🙂

 

 Thought, reflected, realized………….

Thought about……..things that make me happy 🙂

Reflected on.……my week and HOW I can make it better THIS week

 

Realized…..

I do not have many close friends. I really do enjoy being alone. I feel like my friends take it personally. This makes me feel guilty. It makes me avoid people even more.  I love friends but in short increments and on my “terms”, right now.  I realize this is not good and that I also need to give a bit more…..I just do not feel like I am ready yet.  I am still in my selfish phase of doing what I want, trying new things, finding my likes/dislikes.  I get bored at times but do not know what to do with myself.  I am restless. Do not feel like seeing anyone but also do not feel like being alone…..I wonder if that is still food related. Am I not satisfied with my food/eating? I seem to always be worried and thinking about food still (What if I am still hungry, what if I just can not stop eating, what if I feel so hungry I am shaky) I am still preoccupied with food.  It prevents me from enjoying other aspects of life (at times)  I hate eating with or in front of people.  I am uncomfortable. I am still embarrassed. I feel judged, even though I KNOW I am not…..I am the only one judging.

Why is it so uncomfortable for me to eat in front of people? I would much rather eat alone, focus on the taste, flavor, etc.  Maybe I feel like a little piggy when I eat? Maybe I fear people will think that. I need NOT to care what others think.

 

I think deep down I am afraid of hearing a comment that will scare me “Oh WOW, you are eating 4 pieces of pizza!!?!?!” or maybe overhear this conversation ” I ran this morning so its ok for me to eat this pizza”, “Oh these chips are going right to my thighs”, “I do not eat x, y or z because it is just so unhealthy”

I am still scared.

 

Sunday bike ride with Lily at Black Run Preserve in Evesham

 

Week ahead………

 

Monday

since my coffee filter pumpkin idea FAILED, going to try these 🙂

 

 

Tuesday

• Dentist!! Much needed routine cleaning! You have NO idea how excited I am.  I absolutely LOVE my dentist and hygienist.  I have no fear of ever going. They do SUCH a fabulous job and I love the fresh feeling after a great cleaning!!
• going to try for yoga again

 

Wednesday

• Follow up dr. appt

 

Thursday

 

Try something NEW!!

 

Friday

Try something NEW~~

 

Saturday

31 party with Denise!!

Your Turn

1.  What makes you uncomfortable?

2.  What is your biggest fear?

3.  3 things YOU did this weekend?