Healthy Lifestyle

Ten for Tuesday (Ten years that is…..)

What Alice  Diana Forgot…….

 

I am currently reading this:

I am almost at the end and just had to write about how much I am enjoying this book.  It really was a light read, but so thought provoking……..in a good way.  The story is about a woman who takes a fall at the gym and forgets the past 10 years of her life. She awakens thinking she is 29 instead of 39.  She has no recollection of the past 10 years.  She is different. She is not bitter or hating her husband.  She is actually happy and it shows in her face…….

It has made me think back to ten years ago today …………..November 10, 2004. So here is MY story 🙂

 

10 years forgotten

November 10 2004 I would have just returned from my honeymoon from Couples Swept away in Negril, Jamaica


I was 24 years old and had my whole life ahead of me.I had no idea of the hurt and pain and wonderful blessings I would come to learn the next 10 years

I was a beautiful and happy bride in 2004. That is all that matters. I do not regret the decision I made it made me who I was and we definitely had some great times and memories

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Most important I learned something from it

My wedding was wonderful .  It was filled with fun and many memorable memories of my brother and grandmother.  Both were there and  happy and healthy as could be 🙂  I had no idea that 10 years from now neither would be with us any longer. I am so happy and fortunate I made the best of the day with them. In fact, I feel like I made the best moments with them that day and in the many days/years that came ❤

10 years ago I decided I wanted to teach. I began as a special education aide with a fantastic little girl that will forever hold a special place in my heart I watched her grow for a number of years

From that experience I learned of my love and passion for teaching. I had worked with so many wonderful teachers and learned so much from all of them as individuals over the years.

I was young yet I thought I had it all figured out. I had some things figured out but not the most important things…..by far

My eating disorder was hiding well but, it was there, in FULL bloom.   I was scared of EVERYTHING.  I was scared of eating in front of other people I was scared of getting fat

I thought if I gained weight my new husband would no longer love me or feel attracted to me…. maybe he would cheat on me or want a divorce or feel disgusted by me….

But I did not realize that it was my confidence, self esteem and (lack of) self love  that was ugly and lacking

if someone  truly loves you they will love you no matter what size, color,  or mood you are in
Love is about acceptance. Love is about compromise. I had no idea what LOVE was because I did not even love myself.

The past 10 years have taught me I deserve to be loved I deserve happiness and I deserve to do what makes me happy. I deserve to put myself first

I deserve to go to a party and enjoy myself and not have to worry about my spouse or partner cheating on me

OR

drinking too much

OR

getting into some sort of trouble
I deserve to have my own friends. I deserve to have my own life. I deserve to have my own hobbies. I deserve to be my own person and not turn into the other

I would have never learned this if the past 10 years didn’t happen or I do not remember them

six years ago I lost my brother
We watched him through his ups and downs,  we watched him get better and get worse.  We watched him together.  We were a family.  We were there for eachother when we needed it most. Matthew was happy.  Matthew made us all happy

Two years ago babcia passed away.   I watched my mom and aunt suffer the most.  I can’t imagine losing a parent it has to be the worst feeling in the world

Six years ago on thisdate I graduated from holy family University. I learned so much during my time there and met so many wonderful teachers and friends

That same year I started my first teaching job. I learned so much from it.  Most importantly I learned how naive I really still was.  I also believed that there was good in people. This has taught me to be wise and picky today with the  friendships and relationships I choose to partake. I can make better choices now.

Trust and comfort or two very important things to me

Three years ago around this date I met a wonderful person.  He taught me many things and he showed me a lot.  He introduced me to many great family members who Iadore and admire…….he also taught me another lesson………… I deserve to be happy and that I can not save him.

From that relationship I have learned that sometimes in order for you to be happy you have to make sacrifices and get hurt along the way. It hurts so much giving up on something you believe it. It will hurt even more if you stay in something that is wrong….

Three years ago around this date I was offered a teaching position in Abu Dhabi. I almost went

It would have been a wonderful experience but I am not sorry I did not go

Around that date I started my current teaching position, however it has only been in the past year that my biggest lessons have been learned there.  This is the first year I feel confident and more relaxed of what I do.  YES I am a great teacher

I know everyone has a story about the past 10 years of YOUR life.  Many good things and many sad things have happened to us all.  We just need to remember that without any of those things you cannot BE where you are today OR where you will be tomorrow.  If I had no memory of the past 10 years of my life I would not currently be in TRUE recovery and admittance of my eating disorder. I also would not be working towards loving myself inside and out.
I would most likely still be trying to please everyone and make THEM happy

I would still be hiding my feelings and emotions pretending everything is okay, pretending I do not matter.
I would still not have had the strength to be true to myself and honest with the people I love

I may have never began to accept myself (the good parts and the bad)

so here are 10 of my most memorable moments that made me who I am today

1.  I got married
2.  I was divorced
3,  I re-married, I re-divorced

4.  I traveled to Poland, Italy, Grece and Croatia

europe europe3 rome rome2 rome3

5,  I was pregnant and then I wasn’t
6.  I graduated with a dual certification and honors
7.  I watched my cousin get married and watched my brother drink others drinks that they had left at the wedding table 🙂 Then I became a godmother to her son

godmother
8.  I learned who my real friends were & I am learning who I REALLY am
9.  I ran a marathon. I ran too much. I ran too little. I was injured and recovered. I was re-injured and recovered…..copy and paste

marathon
10.  I made amazing memories with two amazing people and also lost those two amazing people….but I will NEVER loose those memories.

matthew

 

Some realizations….

Not everybody is going to like me and I am not going to like everybody AND that is okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed of

I wanted to  more than anything  be a mother.   For many years it made me sad and mad and depressed.  Now I realize I already am a mother. Every day I go to work and I get to be a teacher AND a mother to many students.  It is mentally draining. I feel that I don’t have any children so that I CAN have the paitience, energy and the motivation to deal with a few children that really need me

I have watched drugs and alcohol destroy many lives and many relationships.  Some have learned and grown from them,  others may never.  This has also taught me to truly understand the meaning behind “you cannot help anyone that does not want to be helped.”  All these years I thought I could save people.  I have finally realized I cannot. I can only save myself which is what I am doing

 

and of course, my life would not be complete or the same without this special little lady……she has truly taught me unconditional love…<3

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Your Turn

 

1.  Fun:  what were YOU doing 10 years ago today?!?!

2.  One WONDERFUL memory from the past ten years?

3.  One not so wonderful….?

 

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3 thoughts on “Ten for Tuesday (Ten years that is…..)”

  1. 1. 10 years ago today I had just gotten engaged.
    2. one wonderful memory in the past 10 years was having conversations with babcia over and over again as to whether or not i was finding out if i was having a boy or a girl with my firstborn – and she would constantly badger me to find out . Miss babcia terribly.
    3. one not so wonderful memory is the rift between my brother and tony that happened for like a year….so glad that is overcome. It caused such unnecessary time missed with family and I never want to go through that again. Probably worst time for me.

    Like

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