Healthy Lifestyle

Wednesday Wants 11.12.14

I want….

to announce the winner of Stacy Brandt’s book Things I learned 

You can read her story here.

The winner is………………..Christine J!  Congrats!!

I want…..

a day off. YES I just had a lovely 4 day weekend, but I still want another day OFF

I want…..

to watch The Goonies again (so many great memories “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy youuuuuuuuuuuuu guysssssssssssssssss”

20 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About the Goonies

I want….

to take this class @ Michael’s.

Knit and Crochet Boot Socks! 🙂  Super cute!!

I want….

to know the reason I make myself unhappy….(food related)

Here is the situation.  I can NOT seem to get past this feeling. I feel hopeless that it will never go away. I feel this is the biggest thing in my progress towards FULL recovery

Anxiety of WHAT to eat, WHEN to eat, HOW much to eat.  It seems food and eating and meals REVOLVE around my life.  I can not truly get excited or anticipate things because all I do is worry about food and eating issues.

I feel down and depressed and THIS is why. I can NOT get my head out of this terrible way of thinking

This is ONE of many…….Next week I have signed up for a knitting and crochet class after work. I will be making boot socks. This sounds so fun! It will give me something to do, something to create, something to feel productive about. It will give me an end result. It will give me the opportunity to meet new people. It will possibly give me a new hobby or interest…..So what is the problem?
THIS

I can not get excited about it. In fact, I am dreading it. Just as I dread EVERYTHING else that is supposed to be pleasurable. Going places, visiting people, traveling, doing things I have always wanted to try and do….LIVING MY LIFE.  However, all I can think about is this….

“The class is 6-8:30 pm after work, WHAT do I do about dinner? Do I eat BEFORE I go ? (Then I may feel fat and bloated and tired and uncomfortable)  DO I eat dinner after the class (THis is what I would love to do, since I see my dinner as a relaxation, closure and ending to my evening, I enjoy it) But if I wait I will be miserable and hungry and in a rush to GET OUT so that I can go home and eat…..DO I eat a snack before I go, then have my dinner after?? YES this seems the LOGICAL and right thing to do, yet I can’t…………….I mean I can, and most likely will but the thought…………..makes me feel like a failure. Makes me feel fat. Makes me feel awful.  How can I have a snack AND then dinner!?  How!? WHy? I should not be that hungry…..

This is my battle and struggle every. Single. Day. I am so tired of it. I am furious with myself for fighting this battle in my head day in and day out. I KNOW that it is preventing me from experiencing true pleasure, happiness and amazing moments….So why can’t I just LET IT GO!?

If I could just eat naturally, when I wanted to , without feeling guilt, I would be so much happier. I can not even really remember a time I felt like eating was natural. I always feel guilt.

 

 

I want….

to find the perfect cookie for my upcoming cookie exchange!

I want….

the cold, windy, freezing, dreary winter weather to STAY AWAY!

I want….

to say how HAPPY I am to have finally finished reading “The Goldfinch”!
It was a great book, but LONG.  It definitely kept me engaged, but at times, I really wanted it to stop dragging.  I loved how descriptive Tarte was , I know this bothered some , however I loved it because I was able to get a perfect visual in my head. I felt like I was watching my own “movie”.  Also many complaints about the harsh drug scenes and lives…..Yes it was harsh, but it is a reality. It brought me many memories and reminded me of many people I have known and I was able to experience their “pain”.

the goldfinch

It was a beautiful book.

 

I want….

to visit and explore NYC

I want….

to check these out this holiday season 🙂

Christmas Village in Philadelphia

Dates: November 30-January 1
You’ll find handblown glass ornaments, unique artisanal gifts and a great deal of holiday cheer during the European-inspired Christmas Village at Love Park. Wander among dozens of traditional wooden booths, warm up with holiday-inspired delicacies and celebrate the season in Center City.

Punk Rock Flea Market

Dates: December 14-15
You’ll find a quirky little something for everyone at R5 Production’s Punk Rock Flea Market. The holiday edition of the bi-annual flea market is bigger than ever wit more than 500 vendors selling a bit of everything including old records, clothes, handcrafted art, toys, jewelry, instruments and probably even a few kitchen sinks. Just $3 gets you access to two days of flea market finds.

 

Your Turn

1.  Top 3 recommendations in NYC?

2.  Do you want to try a new skill, craft, hobby?

3.  What is your FAVORITE cookie?

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