Ten crazy, random, mixed up finds, feelings, who knows!?!?!
1. I love this song.
It makes me feel GOOD. No idea why. Just a feeling ❤
2. Feeling: blah and sad and like a bad person
I am beating myself up. I love being able to do what I want, when I want. Sometimes more than WITH someone…..this makes me feel bad and scared and like a terrible person/friend. I wish I had the desire to be with people more, but for some reason I prefer being AROUND them, while doing things on my own. I think I still fear being “stuck” or forced into something I do not want to do……I have had many years of being forced to do things I am uncomfortable with. I hope as I continue to grow, this gets better!
I also have a hard time focusing on the task I am doing (shopping, browsing at a museum, etc) Other people distract me I can not give my full attention or focus to what I am doing and that frustrates me.
I love this picture. It makes me happy.
I imagine it being early morning, having my coffee and planning out my day, filled with sight seeing, wandering, taking things in….
This is how I feel when I do things alone…
I think people get confused and associate wanting to be alone with this….
that is NOT the case at all
Don’t get me wrong. I LIKE people and do enjoy time with them….I enjoy being around people. I just need to work on still remaining true to myself and being me!
3. Realization: I am not that different (from my students) and I KNOW I am not the only one….
I have a difficult time with transitions.
I get nervous about change. I dread it, I fear it. It takes me time to transition and adjust to new people and places. In fact, the FIRST day of vacationing someplace, I usually HATE it…..day 2 is quite the opposite. I have anxiety. I feel sick. I want to scream or hide or both. I do better on my own with transitions than with others.
The difference is I can and DO push myself to deal with the UNcomfort because I know it will only be temporary and that I have the power to change it.
I do not like loud noises
This includes music, environments, alarms, etc. I cringe. I am irritated. I feel like I can NOT hear myself think. I do not even like to have the television or radio too loud. I do not like it.
I like structure and schedules and LISTS
I feel good about myself when things are in order. I love structure. I prefer lectures and taking in information rather than working in groups. I get annoyed when things change (but I can deal with it and hide my irritation well). I like to have a plan, from my daily work day, morning routine, or vacation planning. I like to make myself schedules.
I am working on NOT being so brutal and constrictive. Yes I am still making schedules, setting routines BUT I am allowing myself to break those, or NOT complete them…..if I do not feel like it
I love itineraries, I get giddy when I see them or MAKE them
I make multiple sets of lesson plans for myself, because I like the schedule/structure
I love checking things off my (multiple) lists
I have a hard time looking at people in the eye when I speak to them.
I am getting better and can honestly say I feel SOOOO much more connected when I maintain eye contact. I also notice the lack of eye contact in people and I do realize that it makes them seem not confident in themselves. This is something I continue to work on and it is benefiting me in SO many ways. Even with my students. Simple eye contact is so engaging. I really feel like I can get through to my students, even if our eyes meet for only a moment.
I prefer certain textures.
For example. I LOVE to mix crispy things into my yogurt, or ice cream. Will I eat it without? Sure, but I prefer it with some crisp! I am like this with MANY things. I like my chicken practically BURNT (my mother will vouch for me!) as well as my veggies and anything else.
I work and think best, alone vs. in groups
What do you think of this bag? Its a great deal…
5. I need and want to be ME, all the time.
I do not like who I am all the time. You may not either. I need to accept this and deal with my feelings.
I find myself still trying to get approval from people. I still try to have people like me. I still try to put on an act and “give people what they want”. I am getting MUCH better with this and am finding people I can really relate to that I am ABLE to be my true self around.
I think I am finally letting MYSELF see my real self, so slowly you will see it more too….bear with me!
6. Bigos IS better on day 2-3 !!
7. I am super excited to try out my NEW Flannel sheets tonight!
(I got the 3rd ones from the top….they are totally ME, my colors, etc. I wanted to try something DIFFERENT, but they were the ONLY ones in the size I needed!! I guess they were MADE for me! )
8. Hahah, I WILL have these sheets!
9. My house does NOT feel like my HOME 😦
This makes me sad. I am hoping that things will change soon 🙂
1. How often do you change YOUR bed sheets?
2. How have you recently gone OUT of your comfort zone?
3. How do you make YOUR house feel like a HOME?