1. This is the BEST re-GIFT ever!
Seriously. I absolutely LOVE my gift this year! The deal is I have to keep in on my desk at school for the remainder of the year. My kids are going to LOVE this
FYI – You FEED the fish through the …………mouth!! A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!
2. Tomorrow officially kicks off my winter break!
I am so excited! I can not wait to just get things done, try some new things, cook, see friends and family……..and who knows what else! The week is mine
3. Call Me Farmer “D”
Yes. I will be playing “farmer” for week while my parents go on vacation. I will be feeding chickens, pigeons, dogs, fish, frogs, and who knows what else………I will be baking making some fabulous egg dishes with those wonderful organic eggs. PLEASE let me know if you would like some, I can (and will) make special deliveries ❤
4. Terrible Thoughts Tuesday: My battle with myself
Today was hard. My ED has been really trying to get at me. He has been telling me I am fat, lazy, unproductive, that no one will like me, that no one does like me, that I am just not good enough, thin enough, smart enough, etc. This morning I did not see my bones poking through my hips and shoulders and I embarrassingly felt sad. I missed that feeling. I miss the feeling of emptiness. That emptiness is what kept me going. It was my push, my motivation for some reason. It is very difficult and uncomfortable for me WITHOUT it……I am filling the emptiness with FOOD and other things that are GOOD for me. I think now that I am FINALLY doing the right things for myself and my body, I feel like I do not deserve it.
I will get through this. Just another (Difficult) realization I need to accept, adapt to and grow with.
5. Becoming clear
Too MUCH of this………….
Requires LOTS of this…………
Wow. Yesterday was very busy day. I am used to being busy, but my busyness is usually done by myself. Yesterday I was busy with others. Students, co workers, friends, family, store workers……I spoke to a lot of people, in person AND on the phone. Wow, did that exhaust me. I felt good doing it, I was happy, I truly enjoyed it, however today I felt run down. I think I need a day of peace with myself before I am ready to tackle that again
6. When you think you have it bad……..
someone really does have it much worse. Just look at the newspaper, turn on the news, pick up a book. The book I am currently reading portrays such a HORRIBLE life that a young girl suffered. Not only physical abuse but mental abuse as well. Its hard. I encourage everyone to try to be their healthiest selves as the new year approaches. Let go of those people and things that are harmful to you. Be good to yourself, be good to others. It is not possible ALL the time, but you can at least try.
I have always feared being judged for what I ate, what I looked like, what I wore, what I did, etc. I NEVER wanted to be judged, yet found myself constantly judging others. I realize now it was only to make me feel better about myself. Its hard NOT to judge others, and I do not know if I can ever make that go away, but at least I will try my best to respect their views, whether I agree with them or not is another story, but I will be aware of judgmental feelings and try not to let them interfere.
I am feeling very nervous and anxious about the holidays for MANY reasons. The unknown or unstructured is very difficult for me. I like my schedules. I like eating when I want in the comfort of my home, I like doing what I want, when I want, How I want. I like going places separate so I can leave if I need to……I am nervous. I get nervous that people will be watching me. That I will be forced or coerced into doing things OTHER want me to do (Try this pumpkin pie, eat this, try that….) This fear for years has made me think I have been WRONG. That is WRONG for me to choose oatmeal over potato chips , that it is wrong for me to crave PB and toast instead of french fries. I have come a long way with my food habits. I try to eat healthy and try to stick with the foods that make me feel my BEST. I try to eat foods that my body needs, and are as natural as possible. Will I stray , of course? Do I enjoy it? Honestly, no, once I get through it I am ok, but once again it is the un-comfort. It is out of my routine, my safety zone.
This constant state of trying to stay mindful and make the “right” choices all the time is what exhausts me. I just want things to come naturally to me.
1. Ask yourself if you are too quick to judge others? Why do you think that is?
2. What do you like most about family holidays?
3. Are you dreading or fearful of anything that is upcoming? How will you deal with it?