Compliments and Praise
Do you enjoy receiving compliments and praise, or do you immediately shoot the thought down, thinking the “giver” must feel sorry for you?
I ALREADY know that not being able to accept compliments is a reflection of our own self worth. This is something I am continuing to work on and definitely feel I AM making progress. Old habits are HARD to break. Believing I was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, etc, etc, etc took MANY years to build up inside, so it’s only natural that it will probably take quite some time to have “healthier/positive” thoughts and begin a path towards acceptance.
Words became SO unauthentic to me. I was trying to give people the benefit of the doubt that when they said something, they did truly mean it. Just because I did not feel great about myself, does not mean that I am NOT great! ❤
Compliments make me……..uncomfortable. I get squirmy, don’t know where to look, or how to act. “What do I say?, What do I do?”. If I accept it (even if I dont believe it) does it make me look arrogant? WHO CARES.
I am going to start giving people the benefit of the doubt. I will put greater energy in believing that people truly do intend to compliment me.
I love complimenting others. I like seeing the good in others. I like to see them wear a complimenting color or style. I notice when I like a new hair cut (Speaking of which, DANIELLE ! I need your hair stylist info!!)
I like to share with people the things I notice and the things that make them “shine”. I want to be able to accept that as well.
Obviously , this must have stemmed for me from childhood. (Doesn’t everything!?)
So I also think it is SO important to teach our own kids, students, nieces, nephews, etc, the importance of both GIVING and RECEIVING compliments. Do not let your child grow up thinking accepting or giving is wrong or something to be ashamed of!
I often times felt (and still do) that it is a pity party for me. “Awwww poor D, I need to tell that pathetic soul SOMETHING nice because, ugh, just LOOK at her”
I thought these tips from child and parenting expert Denise Daniels were pretty incredible ❤
Here are Daniel’s top six tips for raising complimentary children:
1. Lead by example. Parents need to model the behavior of giving compliments to friends, family and strangers.
2. Pay Attention To Your Child’s Behavior. As parents we want to try to ignore the negative behavior and always try to affirm positive behavior.
3. Encouragement. We want to remember to compliment them on a job well done, and notice when they are doing something special for others. When parents praise effort rather than ability, children become more motivated because they feel acknowledged for a job well done.
4. Acknowledge a Good Task and Reward. Giving children compliments by focusing on their good behavior will give them the positive attention they are seeking.
5. Teach Honesty and Empathy. Paying compliments should always come from the heart. An insincere compliment will be easily detected and minimizes its value, resulting in the opposite effect. Praise and recognition with genuine compliments is also a great way to motivate your children.
6. Explain the Benefits of Giving and Receiving Compliments. It’s a great way to pass on good feelings and show others kindness. No matter what age, everyone can benefit by giving and receiving compliments. It costs nothing to compliment someone on their efforts and good qualities. It only takes being thoughtful about others and thinking about what makes them special or unique.
Places and Things to do
LOCATIONS: Bank of America Free Museum Days in NJ
Enjoy complimentary admission at 7 museums in New Jersey on the first Saturday and Sunday of each month at:
Garden State Discovery Museum (Cherry Hill, NJ)
Liberty Science Center (Jersey City, NJ)
WheatonArts & Cultural Center (Millville, NJ)
Montclair Art Museum (Montclair Art Museum)
Morris Museum (Morristown, NJ)
Aljira, a Center for Contemporary Art Newark Museum (Newark, NJ)
The Noyes Museum of Art of Richard Stockton College (Oceanville, NJ
Safe: Fly Delta!
Yup. I will be flying Delta from now on. Delta airlines is now serving Starbucks coffee!!!! Weeeeeee. You can choose from Pikes Place roast or Italian roast decaf. Pikes for me!
Such a great yoga class………..for kids! The best part, if YOU are a yogi yourself. there is a corresponding class for YOU going on at the same time!! Such a fun girls day out! (or guys!!)
these adorable little sheep with my students!