Happy UN-Manic Monday/Tuesday!
Happy Memorial Day to all those that served us and serve us now!!
One recent study suggests that unmarried women are unhappy not because they are single but because society doesn’t approve of their singleness.
Yip Yip! YUP YUP!
Un-Manic: Extremes (WOAH!)
I listened to an excellent podcast this morning about the psychology of eating
I learned something, well……… acknowledged something that I already deep down knew yet did not have the right “words” to express it.
Extremes because that’s all I knew and that’s all I was used to
So I turned to what comforted me. Food and exercise.
In order to feel that same satisfaction I had experienced my whole life, I felt I needed to push myself to extremes to accomplish that same, “comforting” feeling
- My 4 o’clock morning runs every morning which I beat myself up for missing one day, my restrictive eating habits…..you name it , I did it
- All of my relationships were extremes. The people I was in the relationship needed something, I gave it to them, yet avoided the fact that I nneededmething too…..I told that little voice to SHHHHHut up! Everyone else is clearly more important that me! (not so!)
- I wanted to help my brother speak when he was young, and I wanted to cure his cancer when he was older. I took those things to extremes. Researching, praying, pushing….
- my childhood was very extreme. My parents had a lot on their plate. I was not sure how to quite handle it. So instead of talking, communicating, working things through. I avoided and pretended all was ok. Keeping everything inside.
So now I need to figure out how to get that same high without such extremes
Some people choose to satisfy those extremes with drugs and alcohol
My drug of choice is food and exercise. control control control!!
I am going to start by making it a goal to SLOW DOWN, appreciate things and sites, and really take them in, instead of worrying about “fitting it all in”. I am too busy focusing on whether or not I will accomplish many things, than the actual moment. I need to stop and look around. Just slow down.
How can YOU slow down this week? Pick one thing, no matter how small!
Un-Manic: letter to my brother
My brother was my/our life. After his long battle with cancer, I grieved. Then something happened, I pushed all those sad feelings aside and filled them with other thoughts. Un-healthy thoughts, obsessive thoughts. All these thoughts did have something in common though……….allowing myself to stay busy to NOT think about Matthew.
However, I realize now, I need to face this. I need to grieve. I need to feel sadness/happiness. I need to allow myself to think about him no matter how much it will hurt. It will be the only way I truly accept it.
I still, have a hard time accepting I will never see him again. Whenever this occurs to me, I push that little voice away and say “Nahhhh, its just temporary, he will be back, YOU’LL see!”
I have decided to write a letter to him, and tell him all the wonderful things , sad things, scary things in my life. I plan to tell him all I learned from him. I plan to tell him I am ready to hear and see him 🙂
Ouch. I really, really, really dislike gossip. This year I have made an effort to try to stop myself from falling into it when others do it, as well as not engage or initiate it myself. I have been doing pretty well, but recently fell off the band wagon a bit.
I realized it was happening. I realized I was getting involved a little (because I felt awkward or WRONG for not engaging). I realized the person/people were not there to speak for themselves. I realized that those people that were engaging were not quite there yet…..and by there, I mean realizing why they chose to talk about others instead of themselves. They are hiding those icky feelings they have about themselves.
It is easier to focus and shame others that it is to accept and work on yourself
I am disappointed in myself for not speaking up and saying something or removing myself completely from the situation. I am disappointed in myself for trying to fit in and engaging a bit myself. I am disappointed in myself for changing my beliefs in order to just “fit in” again. I do not need to fit in. I just need to be ME 🙂
Un-Manic: Patio Motivation/Inspiration
I dropped by my friends house yesterday afternoon to check out her newly renovated patio. She did such an amazing job. I fell in love immediately. So peaceful. Serene. Wonderful! 🙂 I am so happy she has her own little happy place now to enjoy, read, bird watch, drink her tea ! I was so inspired that I came out and started cleaning up MY patio! I washed it down, checked on my flowers and settled down for about an hour to enjoy my dinner and surf the net a bit ! 🙂
Check out her adorable little patio here!
Un-Manic: Ten Years post
I am PROUD
I looked back and read my own Ten Years Post. I am so proud of myself for how far I have come and am even more proud of the fact that I am still continuing to work and grow just like I was when I wrote that post almost a year ago
Check out my Ten Years post and tell me about your most memorable moments in the past Ten Years!