Healthy Lifestyle

A new ME, a new COFFEE CHALK

So check out my new logo!!! Custom designed by “M”. He is pretty amazing. What a nice surprise, I love the personalized    “all of me”. It is so P-E-R-F-E-C-T!

Seriously there is so much more to this than just the wonderful logo……”M” has really been taking care of me.  I don’t have a “guy” in my life at the moment and he has been my sanity and saving grace for so many things. It feels so nice to be taken “care of” 🙂  I am feeling pretty spoiled!

xoxo

Enjoy!!!

Healthy Lifestyle

Giving in and letting go

Today I just feel like I CAN’T (or maybe won’t) give up on or LET GO of so many uncomfortable feelings.

I fight my hunger. I fight my tiredness. I fight relaxation.

My morning started off with a big breakfast. This breakfast usually fills me but recently has been leaving me feeling unsatisfied. Instead of just EATING MORE, I fight it “No, I shouldn’t be hungry, No I shouldn’t need to eat more, something MUST be wrong with me………”  YES!  I am hungry!

 

I used to always get this big breakfast! LoL

When will I just”magically” begin trusting myself?

I fight exercise/activity. I constantly feel like I need to be moving and “On the go” in order to be happy and feel content. When I have free time or down time, I feel lazy and unproductive. I force myself to keep moving because the thought of relaxing is also unpleasant to me. SO how do I find a balance? Not doing too much, but also relaxing enough? I am certain I am not the only one that struggles with this 🙂

I hate the constant nagging voice in my head (Diana go walk, run, hike, etc, YOU Have some time!)

This leaves me feeling void, depressed and down. Then I mope and push myself to get things I need to get done with no enjoyment.

This also affected a moment I was enjoying. My cousins and my niece stopped by to drop off a camera lens (Hahah FOOL YOU!) and I was present in the moment and enjoying my time, then the thought hit me “I am hungry, I need to eat” I began to panic. Their voices became faint, all I could think about is……..eating.  I allowed my feelings to disrupt something I was enjoying…..the anxiety and panic hit and I had to “flee”. Most I hate that I allow myself to let these feelings over come me, and instead of being honest “Hey guys, I am starving, I need to go”, I feel ashamed of my hunger and word it “differently” (aka white lie)

I am ashamed to feel hungry

Then I put it all together. I ate MORE, I exercised LESS. I BETTER get moving…..I can not just let things be. I always feel the need to “fix” things and make them balanced and perfect

I want to come to the point where I say “Oh well today I ate more and sat on my butt, MAYBE tomorrow Ill feel more motivated and energized……..maybe not”.

These times will come and go just like everything else in my life.

I need an outlet. My writing, blogging and walking/running/hiking/yoga is NOT enough. I have been avoiding people because I don’t want my problems to carry over to them. I don’t want to burden them with my crazy thoughts. I don’t want to be “fake” in front of them and put on an act that I am happy and excited and loving life. Right now I don’t.  I know I will again, but currently I don’t and I do not want to lay that burden on others, because , who wants to be around someone like that? Not me, I cant handle it.

I do love listening to my friends and family vent. Its a way to get things out. I enjoy it, but have a hard time finding others may share my joy in this. Of course if it became constant every day, with no means of changing, I too would quickly get annoyed and RUN, but the occasional vent session that ends up with some relief makes me and them feel good

This is where I am at. I TRY, but I fail

Tuesday Truths

1.  Food for Thought

I still have disordered eating and thinking. I am finally admitting this to myself, YES I am eating, good yummy delicious foods , BUT I still spend a good part of my day thinking about my “next meal”. Maybe this is from the years of strict schedules but it is a hard habit for me to break free from. I can not fully enjoy the present because food thoughts are EVERYWHERE

2.  So appreciative and “loved”

I received a surprise, pretty much just for the HELL of it. Wow.  I am so thankful and excited for my new gift!  ❤

ECOSTONE Waterproof Bluetooth Speaker—Orange

Ecoxgear Waterproof bluetooth radio!!! 

This is such a SWEET start to my new “life”. Letting it go, enjoying the moments, SLOWING down and enjoying people and life ❤

3.  excited.

I AM excited for my new start and new chapter in my life. Yet I feel ashamed to show it. I feel others will take it as a “rub it in YO face” perspective

Yet, this is NOT true. I need to STOP worrying about what others think or may think and live my life

Healthy Lifestyle

Quote Challenge # 2 & Dating :)

These have been the BIGGEST most significant lessons I have learned this past year. It is hard to give up the control of trying to make others see it YOUR way. Sure you think its what is best for them (often times it even may be) But its exhausting. YOu have to let it go and leave it to them to change or not. You can only accept them into your lives by looking at all the positives or move on and leave them behind

Luckily, I have not eliminated anyone from my life, I have however made some major exceptions that at first (and still are) were very uncomfortable.

Dating.  I did it again. Plenty of Fish (Why oh WHY do I keep doing this to myself)

I have NOT responded to ONE person, because the messages I get are…..well …….ahem, odd or inappropriate?

I have a few NO EXCEPTIONS rules in my head on my standards when it comes to dating, ideally I want to meet someone in person, because a connection and attraction are extremely important to me. People can write whatever they want, you do not get a true vibe about them.  From my experience, my perception is completely OFF when we meet in person

So, I decided to make it fun and as I come across potential “datee’s”, (Hey if you can’t cry, then lets laugh!)I’ve categorized them as people I would want to date, my MOM would want me to date, my DAD would want me to date and even Lily gets a shot 🙂

My mom would want me to date:

The doctor, the lawyer, the business professional

 

My dad would want me to date:

someone that loves to fish and loves chickens

dating

Lily would want me to date……..

dating

No explanation needed, and YES he did contact me….

WHo I want to date (No exceptions)

Jamie, I will wait for you! ❤   (Maybe he is in SC??!)

Healthy Lifestyle

Saturday Safes

Safe

Honeygrow (organic, homegrown salads and stir fry)

I love this place SO MUCH.

The food. The service. The custom DIY orders!

I entered Honeygrow and went right to the ordering machine 🙂 SO simple , step by step instructions. You can choose something from the menu OR customize your own order (This is what I did)

I opted for another salad. I threw in anything and everything that sounded DELICIOUS at the moment. From roasted beets and roasted brussel sprouts to a spicy sriracha sesame dressing and feta cheese

Everything is so fresh and flavorful. The colors are beatiful and service is fast and efficient. You can choose to eat in or take out ….and my most favorite part of all, the saying on the cup! “Honest Eating and growing local”

 I love:

They provide chop sticks to eat (forks are also available) I love eating with chop sticks! ❤

Super fast

food

flavor

quality and freshness

Not loving:

The metal trays they serve you on. I hate them. Detest them. It makes it feel very hospital like. It brings back icky memories from my own surgery.  The tray was a metallic “cold” not pleasant sensation (for myself)  I really would have liked something a bit “warmer” Maybe like a bamboo tray, or something ANYthiNG but the metal!


Yikes!

Safe

Thank you Amy for my lovely necklace.  I love it so much! It’s the perfect length and color!

UN safe

Moorestown got hit hard with the storm Tues night.  Lily and I had a few obstacles on our morning walk

Safe

No matter how bad things are. Someone has it much worse

I decided to treat my self to a manicure and pedicure today (as well as lunch) and of course I am feeling extremely guilty.  I hate spending money on things I ……enjoy.  I feel like I dont deserve it

For example why would I get lunch when I have so much to eat at home?

Why would I get a mani/pedi. I don’t really need it? I am not going anywhere fancy?

Why can’t it ever just be ENOUGH to be because it is, or because I wanted something? I always need to justify my reasons for things that are being “kind” to myself.

However while sitting and trying to enjoy my pretty nails a woman sat down next to me and ….made me realize how “normal” my problems really are

I was feeling down about my self.  A bit un motivated. Lost and lonely

Then she began to cry …right in the middle of her manicure.   She then called her father and told her she was crying because…..her nails were horrible (she was having acrylic refilled, people still do this?). She spent 20 minutes crying to her father on the phone about the poor condition of her nails and how in NY they use “silk” not acrylic……I kind of could not wait to get the HELL outta there!

I felt bad for her bc she clearly had more going on.  It made me appreciate how “normal” my problems were

So here’s the outcome :


  

Safe

I miss my mom.  It’s going to be difficult when I move.  I got a taste of it this week. However I know it’s a good thing for both of us.  She is starting to live her life too.  She still has some work to do but she has come so far.  I  so proud of her for finally doing what she wants to do!

Safe

My bed

I finally got a good nights rest.  There is no place like home 🙂

Safe

The rain. I have to make the best of it.  I had tons to do today OUTSIDE however my plans have been put on hold…because of he rain.  I need to embrace it and enjoy it and put my mind to ease that things will get done.  There will be another sunny day soon IMG_6160

Healthy Lifestyle

Friday Faves

Favorite (fail)

I have been dying for crepes lately! Specifically my late grandmothers Polish nalesnik

I had all the ingredients, plus some fresh fruit on hand, so I figured I would give it a shot! How hard could it be!!

Look how pretty these paper thin crepe wrappers look!

Easy! Then you just put in your filling…..

fold or wrap it neatly and ENJOY

I was so excited to wrap one of these up and eat it! (I even made a cream cheese filling and brought some fresh berries to a boil to make a little sauce!)

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Then this happened…..well I helped it happen bc they were just NOT working..

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Nope, that is not feta cheese, those are my crepes!

What!?   They still TASTED good!

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I ended up scrambling them all up and instead of throwing it away, I still topped it with my yummy toppings!! It tasted delicious, just didn’t look so nice…….

Oh………how disappointed my Babcia would be in me, if she EVER saw these……..omg I could only imagine….

Fave:  Finally a GREAT day 🙂

The past few days/weeks have been blah for me. Anxiety, anger, fear, you name it, I felt it.   I struggle with being present and in the moment. I struggle with relaxing and being good to myself, so today I made an effort to change that
First, I started my morning off with a run

Next, I went for a much needed massage (in preparation for my long drive ahead!)

Then I stopped by my cousins to visit him and my beautiful niece………this was the icing on the cake. Something about her is just so soothing. Seeing an innocent little baby that needs and relies on you smile, is the best feeling in the world. It was so nice just holding her cute little bundle (strong!) body. After I left I immediately missed her and felt “naked”, so I can only imagine what parents feel!IMG_5498

We had some great coffee, conversation and cooing (apparently a lot more occurred AFTER I left)

which lid do you prefer? The black or white? I am a black girl, my parents and cousin are old fashioned and like white 🙂

I realized many of my own insecurities and issues by just talking and finally allowing myself to listen and be present.

I realized how I really need to make more of an effort on finding some pleasure, so here is what I did:

This afternoon I had a few unexciting/unmotivating tasks to complete. I downloaded Pandora, some stations I liked and went to work (80s music and Love songs! Ha)

WOW. Just WOW. How much more enjoyable the tasks became with something so simple. Songs and music change my mindset. They make me happy, they make me excited, they make me tear up. They allow my emotion, feelings and ME to come out!

In the past I took “pride” in making things miserable for myself. When I would run, I would do so without any music, JUST so I could say “I don’t need music, I am hard core”….what a fool I was, who cares?! Who was I trying to impress? Is it worth making yourself unhappy just so someone things you are super woman? NO

I often am envious of others with an artistic or creative side. They seem SO much happier than those that don’t have creativity in their lives.

Today I lived it. I felt the songs, I felt the music, sure you may laugh at the fact that Michael’s Jackson’s Smooth Criminal made me feel un-stoppable, or that I teared up when I heard Enrique sing “I Can be Your Hero”, but to me they meant something, that is ALL that matters.

Fun facts:

When I heard Sweet Caroline, I immediately went back to “Who’s on Third” days with Tina and Kim lol

When i heard Hungry Eyes, it made me think of dirty dancing and gave me butterflies, because I am hopeful that someone will give me the “loving feeling” that I want 🙂

When I heard “Don’t Stop Believing”, I felt inspired to keep moving forward

Fave:  Un Favorite feeling

I am a total morning person. I feel energized, happy, excited and motivated in the morning. As the day progresses I slowly begin to lose those feel good feelings. My mood often shifts and I constantly try to figure out WHY

I think I am doing too much, or a lot anyways.  All morning I am non stop. The afternoon and evening come and I am mentally and physically  spent. I then beat myself up for not having the mental or physical energy to do much of anything, so what do I do?
CONTINUE TO BEAT MYSELF UP

I tell myself I shouldn’t be tired. I should still want to go out and do things. I should want to keep pushing and going, but the truth is, I just can’t. Truth is, I don’t.

I wish I could , but I can’t and I fight it and I end up being unhappy and miserable and only doing a diservice to myself and others around me. It is not fair to anyone to force myself to do something I just don’t want to but FEEL like I should.

Each morning I feel great. I plan my day. I will sometimes plan to get together with friends in the evening for dinner, coffee, drinks, etc. Then the afternoon comes and dread and panic enter my head. I DON’T WANT TO GO, but yet I already committed to something

Sure it sounded WONDERFUL at 6:00 in the morning when I was fresh and at my best , full cup of coffee, well rested, the entire day ahead. I feel awesome in the mornings! I am up for anything! The only problem is, work, my friends work, my family works, I work.  My ideal “hang out ” time occurs when others (myself included) are at work…..So I try to force myself to do something after.  With everyone’s busy schedule, 7 or 8 pm works for them, but just not for me. I am exhausted then. I just want to be home in my jammies, with a messy bun in my hair and I do NOT feel like getting dressed, driving to a crowded noisy place, and talking. I’m tired. I want to stay home. Yet I feel bad.

This is what I want to be doing after 5.

I think I just need to realize the ideal of me will NEVER be me. I am too busy and active during the day and it would not be fair to myself or others if I gave them an exhausted, irritated, annoyed Diana. Sure I can and will def make time for important things that I need to be present for, but for every day no big deal things, it will need to wait until the weekend or daytime hours. This is the only way I will ever feel satisfied and not guilt stricken.

This is NOT what I want to be doing after 5

Healthy Lifestyle

Quote Challenge

I am taking the QUOTE challenge!! For the next 3 days I will be posting a few quotes I find have helped me re-evaluate things in my life ❤

Happy Friday! !

This is so true. This year has been quite the learning experience for me. I am learning to really, truly LISTEN to people. I often times want to “jump” in and SOLVE their problems, or relate them to my own, so they know they are not alone
STOP. RIGHT. THERE.

No, just hold back, just really listen. That is more beneficial than any (unwanted) advice will ever be.  Let people come to their own decisions. Give them advice or your thoughts if THEY ask. Otherwise, just listen. It will be greatly appreciated

Plus it allows you the opportunity to be PRESENT, something I also struggle with . Be in the moment. Realize that your silence will allow SO much opportunity for YOU and the other person to grow.

Choose to REALLY truly listen to someone today !

Healthy Lifestyle

Thankful Thursday

Once again a beautiful, sunny, GORGEOUS Thursday. That alone is enough to be thankful for!

Most of all I am thankful the opportunity to begin a new chapter in my life. I am not quite ready to discuss it yet in blogger world, because it is difficult for me to grasp and accept, BUT I am so thankful for the support and guidance I have received from family and friends!

 

Some other things to be thankful for

Four legged furries.

Yesterday I was stressed. I was annoyed. I took it out on these guys.

IMG_6113

We went for  a(Much needed) walk and I started off ANGRY.  I was angry at the world. I was angry for things not being perfect. Perfect for my world.

Half way through my walk my anger dissolved. The pups were thrilled to be out on such a beautiful night, AND did excellent walking together (This started off as a challenge, now we ALL have it down !)

I really need to take control of my anger. I really have so much anger towards a lot of things (that are ALL out of my control) I really need to let things go and stop taking it out on others just because things are not going quite as perfectly as I would like

Easy packing tips! (Perfect for my laid back style! People are so smart 🙂  )

love these easy packing tips.  5,4,3,2,1 rule!  

Electricity

A big storm (and tornado) blew through Tuesday night. It caused a lot of damage and a lot of power outages. I am so so SO thankful I was not affected by it.

Read about it here

Feeling real feelings

 

I am currently in distress with my hunger feelings.  BUT I am thankful that I can at least acknowledge this and try to get through the un-comfort.

My hunger has been weird lately. I am extremely hungry in the mornings. I feel like I will never be satisfied. I often feel full but still not satisfied? I Feel like I am missing something. This could be due to part that I typically eat the same breakfast daily and my body needs change, but its just so EASY to stick with the same thing. My brain is not craving anything specific, so it is hard.  When I think breakfast, I tend to go towards peanut buttery oats, VS eggs.  I just like my sweet breakfast over savory.  So for me to TRY other things, seems pointless, BUT I do know there are other sweet breakfast eats (granola, pancakes, waffles, french toast, etc, etc, etc) So I think its time to explore whether or not my body wants change, or whether its “Something” else causing me to feel un satisfied

 

As the day continues, my hunger comes in spurts. I am either RAVENOUS or not hungry at all.  I have been having lunch and a snack after work and find myself not really hungry, then 9 pm rolls around, after the hustle and bustle of my day I feel hungry and think “Hey! Dinner time!”

There are just days I am exhausted from trying so hard. I know I have come a long way when I look at the big picture, but some days I just realize how pointless and unnecessary these feelings are. There are bigger problems in the world and in my life and I can not even control them. I just at times feel like giving up

SO I am not thankful for the uncomfortable feelings, but what I am thankful for is that I am able to acknowledge and hopefully figure out my distress!

Book Buddies

My reading has really taken a hard hit these past few months. So I am thankful for my July Book buddy!! We will be both reading and sharing/discussing as we go along a new selection :

 

Love You More by Lisa Gardner

8701129

 

WHO DO YOU LOVE?
 
One question, a split-second decision, and Brian Darby lies dead on the kitchen floor. His wife, state police trooper Tessa Leoni, claims to have shot him in self-defense, and bears the bruises to back up her tale. For veteran detective D. D. Warren it should be an open-and-shut case. But where is their six-year-old daughter?
 
AND HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO . . .
 
As the homicide investigation ratchets into a frantic statewide search for a missing child, D. D. Warren must partner with former lover Bobby Dodge to break through the blue wall of police brotherhood, seeking to understand the inner workings of a trooper’s mind while also unearthing family secrets. Would a trained police officer truly shoot her own husband? And would a mother harm her own child?
 
. . . TO SAVE HER?
 
For Tessa Leoni, the worst has not yet happened. She is walking a tightrope, with nowhere to turn, no one to trust, as the clock ticks down to a terrifying deadline. She has one goal in sight, and she will use every ounce of her training, every trick at her disposal, to do what must be done. No sacrifice is too great, no action unthinkable. A mother knows who she loves. And all others will be made to pay.
 

Thankful for NOT being in here 🙂

IMG_6126Anger …..dissolved

So again, I was ANGRY. I had to mow the lawn, it was hot, things were stinky….I was miserable until I saw this

IMG_6136

and then these

IMG_6137

and it made me realize how amazing my parents garden is. That these amazing things can GROW. It actually made me smile and enjoy mowing and weed wacking 🙂 You never know what you will find! ❤

 

IMG_6135

 

Finally tired her out…..and finally REALLY falling in love with Lucy ❤

IMG_6125IMG_6124IMG_6123

 

 

Healthy Lifestyle

Ten For Tuesday

 

1.  Thoughts.

 

It is hard for me to face the truth, deal with my own issues and take life head on (instead of avoiding things by keeping myself “busy”)  allowing my brain to slow down and think is something I really need to work on…..hmmmm maybe ill give this flotation therapy a shot??

What are your thoughts on flotation therapy? Initially, (without trying yet) I feel its just yet ANOTHER thing society is throwing on us. Whatever happened to good old fashioned mediation, thinking, talking, etc….BUT I can not shoot it down until I try it out. for $50 a pop it better be worth it!! 🙂

2. Forced

Last night I had errands to do, chores to finish, responsibilities to fulfill BUT I also wanted to go for a walk and take the pups for one too. I questioned myself and my decision to head out a little after 8 because it was already getting dark and my “dogs” were already “barking” (My legs!)

However, I sort of “forced” myself to go. I thought “What will I do if I do not go? Sit around and be LAZY, I ate ice cream yesterday, the LEAST I could do is take the dogs for a walk”

I did not take the dogs for a walk because I wanted to, or I wanted to for them (yes this was definitely a thought though). I took the walk for my own selfish reasons, that voice in my head.

THIS is exactly how I make things UNenjoyable. I force. I feel guilt.  I feel lost if I do not have something planned or set out.

The walk was nice for the first 1/2 hour, then it became too dark, too long and too irritable. I should have either

1.  Decreased the route

2.  Stayed home and did other things (I do have a list, just did not have a “plan”

When I have a “Plan” in my head, it is hard for me to veer from it.  It sits there, laughing at me, calling me, MAKING me.

I have such a hard time finding balance. I want to do EVERYTHING and in turn, my everything becomes UNenjoyable and not well carried out or implemented. I fight the tiredness and push on, in turn not doing my BEST job and not enjoying it. SO WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS??

Here is the good part of the walk 🙂

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Also, check out the background. I was SHOCKED and surprised to run into a Kona truck!! Honestly, this totally boosted my mood, my cousin was not working (This is HIS business!!) however the music, the lai’s, the crowds. Seriously I looped them twice and each time that music just made me SMILE!

 

3.  Rest

After my walk, it was 9:30. I still needed to eat dinner, clean up, check email, etc. I did not get to bed until AFTER mindnight, all because I forced myself on a 4 mile trek when I really did NOT want to go.

So this pretty much sums up how we all felt

IMG_6100I really wish I was not so guilt stricken when I need to rest. The thing is I don’t WANT to rest, but I NEED to.  I like doing things. I like moving. I like being productive. However I beginning to question how thorough and productive I really am when I am not 100% present during these times , due to …………LACK OF REST!

4.  PLEASURE

I have a few days off before the beginning of summer school. I want to spend some time planning for my kiddos and their goals BUT I also want to plan on doing some things and enjoying my mini break

So here are a few things I am interested in, not sure if any will pan out, but I thought I would share with my readers as well!

  • Tall Ships Festival Join us at the unique two-sided waterfront of the Delaware River as more than a dozen international and domestic Tall Ships sail in for Tall Ships Philadelphia Camden 2015.From June 25-28, 2015, the waterfronts of Philadelphia and Camden will create the perfect venue for a myriad of festival attractions and of course, Tall Ships. Affording visitors the rare chance to catch a glimpse, step aboard, and even set sail on some of the grandest ships of yore.

5. Racing thoughts

I am so overwhelmed with racing thoughts lately. I just can NOT slow my brain down, no matter what I do. I begin to start thinking about one thing and immediately 50 other things pop into my head. In turn, this makes me sad and depressed and discouraged. I feel like I will NEVER get anything done, so I end up moping, or going for a walk, run, etc. That at least provides me with something to do, that I feel is benefiting me, although it really is not (This is piggybacking # 2 above!)

I feel like I have tried all the suggestions:
make lists

prioritize

find balance

Yet, I battle those and continue to struggle. I want to do things slowly, enjoy them, put my time, energy and effort into them and not just “race” through them as I have been living my life so far

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, of if you would like to loan me your “Brain” for a day , please apply here!

6.  You never know how you affect anyone

Today I had to thank my friend “D” and give her a hug. She approached me months ago when I started becoming honest about my ED and recovery 🙂  She gave me a hug, yet she gave me so much more. She made me feel ok. She made me feel normal. She made me feel like someone cared. So I had to return her hug today, because I have come SO far and I owe a lot to the example she set for me….

So, don’t hold back, even a small little gesture that YOU may think is meaningless can REALLY go a long way ❤

7.  Flowers

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make me happy and smile.

Perfect ending to a perfect school year. I can NOT believe the generosity of my students and their families. My eyes welled up so many times today. I have never had a better group of supporting , loving parents.  We have ALL come such a long way

Happy Summer!

8.  Cute summer Science activity!!

Exploring Liquid Density with Sensory Bottles

Cool Science Experiment for Kids: Explore Liquid Density with Sensory Bottles

9.  New Wardrobe

I seriously need to refresh my summer wardrobe. I feel like it is so BLAH

I am happy that I have a few days off, I am hoping to shop a bit for a few pieces that will get me through summer and keep me cool and stylish 🙂

10.  Goals

Current Goal:  To start living for the future and stop worrying about the past.

I want to STOP the “should have’s”.

I should have listened to “so and so”

I should have eaten this

I should have went to the store

I should have used my vacation days other wise

I should have…………etc, etc,etc

I fill my life with constant SHOULD HAVE’s and not enough time is spent looking forward

I need to remember to move forward , no matter what.

I make decisions and it is up to me how the play out. I can choose to either dwell on the past, worry if it is the right choice, etc, OR

I can think positive and know that somehow everything will work out, one way or another

If I don’t take risks and face my fears, I will NEVER no any different 🙂

THINK POSITIVE!

 

Healthy Lifestyle

Weekend woes 

Currants

Feeling
Meh.  This weekend was kind of a downer for me (what else is new with my grumpy attitude!).  I had/have my work cut out for me while my parents are on vacation.  This week my mom is away too so it’s been non stop.
It is a lot of work balancing work, life and……a yard!   I am spoiled by condo living and in all honesty think I’ll stick with condos. I enjoy small little gardens , like my patio plants but bigger grounds are tough, especially when you don’t know much about it
 
I’ve been mowing,edging ,trimming , weeding (well I’m certain I’ve pulled an equal amount of plants that aren’t weeds) but hey. I am learning and getting it done.

  I am also trying to train a strong , beautiful , determined German Shepard.  My arms are getting a killer workout from our daily walks.  She likes to stop directly in front of me causing me to trip quite often,  she must find it hilarious
 
I’ve also been pooper scooping some much larger “loads” than I’m used to with my sweet little Lily , oh and opposom and pigeons have faced the jaws and claws of Lethal Lucy
 
Once again I feel guilty for not doing much of anything but I need to remember I am doing things!  I’m working, helping , giving my pups some much needed love and attention. Just because it is not an itinerary stricken weekend with adventures, outings and trips does not mean I should not still be happy.  I’ve gone on some great walks,  went to yoga,  ate some yummy fruit, enjoyed some ice cream.  That’s enough.  I am enough
Bane
Mowing the lawn again. My dads lawn is like a chia pet!
 
Reading
Blogs and hoping to get a few pages of  I know This Much Is True (Wally Lamb) in.  It’s been forever.  I think I need some lighter easy, breezy,fun reads.  Not really crazy about dry, dark and  somber reads.  I need something to pep me up!

Watching
Tried to watch season 1 (episode 1) of Game  of Thrones last night , but moms TV was giving me problems.  (Since I’m house sitting for the  week) Thinking if watching the 2nd Outlander tonight (didn’t happen. Lol)
Thinking
Summer school lesson plans and a little summer maintenance program for my other favorite Lily 🙂
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Of making fish in the grill the week.  With some yummy summer veggies
 
Fool proof grilled salmon (Americas test kitchen approved!)
I need to get to my cousins for some veggies I can start canning! Plus I need to see “A”, she is getting so big and laughing and smiling!!
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How nice it would be to de clutter my moms house for her.  It’s overwhelming. I have become very minimal in my own house and really like it.  The clutter gives me unneeded stress and anxiety.  I’m sure it causes her some too. But that is her choice.  I will get burnt out offering help and suggestions to someone that is not ready to let things go.
 
Eating
Chicken salad
Lots of fresh fruits and veggies (cherries omg!)
Peanut butter (still)
Soft serve ice cream
DENISE!! Thinking you could make this, BUT with sunbutter 🙂
Loving
That my mom is finally enjoying herself and on vacation. So proud of her for taking care if herself
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Healthy Lifestyle

Saturday Safes

I REALLY needed this today. Ever feel like just giving up? I know I have…..until this

I definitely love this way of thinking. I like the idea of thinking about my feelings as “Suggestions” rather than an order.  I think this is where I struggle most! I order myself to do things instead of enjoy them.

Which brings me to how I have been feeling lately. Anxious, depressed, tired, irritable. Is it purely mental, or could it be something else, like candida. (click on the name to learn more about it)

My recent lack of energy, bouts of anxiety and depression and brain fog have made me want to research WHAT the heck is going on with me?!  Granted, I am uncertain as to if candida is the cause, but just another option to explore.

Holy Crap!

El Caminito del Rey, a notorious walkway in southern Spain, reopened to visitors over the weekend after it was made safer

Latest Obsession?

Ask a Teacher podcast

Love love love it!!! I actually find myself talking back to the voices 🙂 Hahah, i can completely relate. If you are a teacher (even if you are not) you should definitely check it out!

So cute, but not sure how the top would fit ? I kind of think I would HATE it on me 🙂

Anthro Bikini

From Antrhopologie

Feels good

  • getting things done. I absolutely LOVE making myself lists and crossing things off them. It makes me smile, feel accomplished and feel much better
  • good gut health .Something recent stress has affected. I definitely see the connection of good gut health and good moods (Yup, I am talking about poop, THERE I said it!)
  • students. I have spent so much time working with my students this year on social skills, playing games, interacting, etc. It has been frustrating and painful because it is difficult and uncomfortable for them. Yet, it is ALL worth it when I finally get to see it in action. Yesterday I took my kiddo’s out for a few minutes on the playground (we ALL needed a break) and what do you know? They all ran over to the swings and, and, AND………..took turns pushing each other and asking each other for help!! Seriously, this brought TEARS to my eyes. I am so proud of them. They did this on their OWN, no direction from me at all. Something once hated proven to be liked now ❤
  • running. I went out for a run this morning and it felt SO good. The weather was perfect. overcast, cool, just perfect 🙂 Plus now I feel good and have some energy for the day ahead!
  • reflection vs. route.  Wow. Its amazing how much you can learn when you sit back and reflect on your day. The way you do things, they way you can improve/change them.  Rather than just getting into a routine and not thinking much about things (which prevents you from growing and learning) sit back and reflect a bit……its quite impressive!
  • facial. I am so excited for my MUCH needed facial today!! I want to look and feel 10 years younger.