Healthy Lifestyle

Friday Faves

Favorite (fail)

I have been dying for crepes lately! Specifically my late grandmothers Polish nalesnik

I had all the ingredients, plus some fresh fruit on hand, so I figured I would give it a shot! How hard could it be!!

Look how pretty these paper thin crepe wrappers look!

Easy! Then you just put in your filling…..

fold or wrap it neatly and ENJOY

I was so excited to wrap one of these up and eat it! (I even made a cream cheese filling and brought some fresh berries to a boil to make a little sauce!)

BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
Then this happened…..well I helped it happen bc they were just NOT working..

IMG_6141

Nope, that is not feta cheese, those are my crepes!

What!?   They still TASTED good!

IMG_6142

I ended up scrambling them all up and instead of throwing it away, I still topped it with my yummy toppings!! It tasted delicious, just didn’t look so nice…….

Oh………how disappointed my Babcia would be in me, if she EVER saw these……..omg I could only imagine….

Fave:  Finally a GREAT day 🙂

The past few days/weeks have been blah for me. Anxiety, anger, fear, you name it, I felt it.   I struggle with being present and in the moment. I struggle with relaxing and being good to myself, so today I made an effort to change that
First, I started my morning off with a run

Next, I went for a much needed massage (in preparation for my long drive ahead!)

Then I stopped by my cousins to visit him and my beautiful niece………this was the icing on the cake. Something about her is just so soothing. Seeing an innocent little baby that needs and relies on you smile, is the best feeling in the world. It was so nice just holding her cute little bundle (strong!) body. After I left I immediately missed her and felt “naked”, so I can only imagine what parents feel!IMG_5498

We had some great coffee, conversation and cooing (apparently a lot more occurred AFTER I left)

which lid do you prefer? The black or white? I am a black girl, my parents and cousin are old fashioned and like white 🙂

I realized many of my own insecurities and issues by just talking and finally allowing myself to listen and be present.

I realized how I really need to make more of an effort on finding some pleasure, so here is what I did:

This afternoon I had a few unexciting/unmotivating tasks to complete. I downloaded Pandora, some stations I liked and went to work (80s music and Love songs! Ha)

WOW. Just WOW. How much more enjoyable the tasks became with something so simple. Songs and music change my mindset. They make me happy, they make me excited, they make me tear up. They allow my emotion, feelings and ME to come out!

In the past I took “pride” in making things miserable for myself. When I would run, I would do so without any music, JUST so I could say “I don’t need music, I am hard core”….what a fool I was, who cares?! Who was I trying to impress? Is it worth making yourself unhappy just so someone things you are super woman? NO

I often am envious of others with an artistic or creative side. They seem SO much happier than those that don’t have creativity in their lives.

Today I lived it. I felt the songs, I felt the music, sure you may laugh at the fact that Michael’s Jackson’s Smooth Criminal made me feel un-stoppable, or that I teared up when I heard Enrique sing “I Can be Your Hero”, but to me they meant something, that is ALL that matters.

Fun facts:

When I heard Sweet Caroline, I immediately went back to “Who’s on Third” days with Tina and Kim lol

When i heard Hungry Eyes, it made me think of dirty dancing and gave me butterflies, because I am hopeful that someone will give me the “loving feeling” that I want 🙂

When I heard “Don’t Stop Believing”, I felt inspired to keep moving forward

Fave:  Un Favorite feeling

I am a total morning person. I feel energized, happy, excited and motivated in the morning. As the day progresses I slowly begin to lose those feel good feelings. My mood often shifts and I constantly try to figure out WHY

I think I am doing too much, or a lot anyways.  All morning I am non stop. The afternoon and evening come and I am mentally and physically  spent. I then beat myself up for not having the mental or physical energy to do much of anything, so what do I do?
CONTINUE TO BEAT MYSELF UP

I tell myself I shouldn’t be tired. I should still want to go out and do things. I should want to keep pushing and going, but the truth is, I just can’t. Truth is, I don’t.

I wish I could , but I can’t and I fight it and I end up being unhappy and miserable and only doing a diservice to myself and others around me. It is not fair to anyone to force myself to do something I just don’t want to but FEEL like I should.

Each morning I feel great. I plan my day. I will sometimes plan to get together with friends in the evening for dinner, coffee, drinks, etc. Then the afternoon comes and dread and panic enter my head. I DON’T WANT TO GO, but yet I already committed to something

Sure it sounded WONDERFUL at 6:00 in the morning when I was fresh and at my best , full cup of coffee, well rested, the entire day ahead. I feel awesome in the mornings! I am up for anything! The only problem is, work, my friends work, my family works, I work.  My ideal “hang out ” time occurs when others (myself included) are at work…..So I try to force myself to do something after.  With everyone’s busy schedule, 7 or 8 pm works for them, but just not for me. I am exhausted then. I just want to be home in my jammies, with a messy bun in my hair and I do NOT feel like getting dressed, driving to a crowded noisy place, and talking. I’m tired. I want to stay home. Yet I feel bad.

This is what I want to be doing after 5.

I think I just need to realize the ideal of me will NEVER be me. I am too busy and active during the day and it would not be fair to myself or others if I gave them an exhausted, irritated, annoyed Diana. Sure I can and will def make time for important things that I need to be present for, but for every day no big deal things, it will need to wait until the weekend or daytime hours. This is the only way I will ever feel satisfied and not guilt stricken.

This is NOT what I want to be doing after 5

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