Today I am grateful for acknowledging the fear of my move
I am participating in the Gratitude Mad Libs Challenge, hosted by Kaila Prins of In My Skinny Genes blog. I absolutely LOVE the idea. Each day you start off with a fill in the blank about something specific you are grateful for. It encourages you to face your feelings, which I need 🙂
I’ve been avoiding
thinking about my move because it is scary. A new place , a new school, packing , unpacking , planning , driving , redecorating, learning a new school system and curriculum , setting up a new classroom
I have been there and done this all…………10 years ago, with my ex husband. My biggest fear? HOW am I going to do this alone? Yes, I know technically I am not alone in this. I have amazing family and friends, and of course have reached out to movers to help me with things I just can not do. Its still just not the same. No one else takes pride or excitement in your life as you do, or your partner does. Not saying I wish I were in a relationship AT all. That is not the fear. Its just scary to be FINALLY doing something for just ME. I have never done anything for just ME. My motivation came before from doing things for others. My moves and life changes were EASY because I was able to focus on making my partner happy. I made choices and did things based upon what I felt would make THEM happy.
No more of that. Sure, this sounds so wonderful, I get to do everything for me. BUT this is yet my biggest fear and challenge. Maybe deep down I still do not feel “worthy”, however this is something I really need to focus on because I am NOT going to spoil this amazing opportunity for myself by being………..miserable
I am scared I won’t be able to do it or have the energy and strength to do it
I am scared
This move is about change for me. Something I fear so much. It’s about slowing down, living life, balancing. I am not going to turn this into something negative. I will get through this. It is much easier for me to remain comfortable and complacent in my current condo, job and situation. However at the same time, THIS is my opportunity to start new and fresh. I have many unhealthy memories here. My food and exercise addictions the worst of them. Not to mention my over achievement and commitment to work.
This is now my opportunity to start anew and really stick to finding BALANCE in my life. I feel like here in NJ it is definitely achievable but with a lot more work. It takes a lot and a long time to undo all the mess you make
Mini Melt Down
Yup, it has begun. I had one yesterday morning. Fear, anxiety, and realization finally kicked in. Thank god for my wonderful mom who is ALWAYS there for me to support, listen and give me hugs. I know I will be ok, I just need to let it out sometimes
Together we tackled some undesirable tasks yesterday, she helped me get back on track and focus on the positive
- Booked the moving truck!
- Packed up my office
- Packed up all my china
I can not believe how much stuff accumulated! I have tons to give away, my readers, family and friends have first dibs on some stuff 🙂
If anyone wants these beautiful crystal glasses, pick them up and they are YOURS!! 🙂
I love them, just have no purpose for them. I am not a fancy gal. I like my nice, everyday drinking glasses best and do not really have the storage space to keep these in the good ol’ south 🙂
Ok, enough of the whining and crying about my move.
Lets move on to some fun stuff:
(honestly, I just thought this title was hilarious! It does have some good tips though too 🙂 )
Friday I went fishing with my cousin. We ventured out to 7 Bridges in Tuckerton
Woah. This place is breathtaking (minus the killer flies)
We stopped by Captain Mikes Marina for some bait (and sinkers)
Clean, friendly and lots of adorable pups!
We found our spot, set out for some bait fish and had a lovely view of the Old Fish Factory
We were curious as to what this was, so after a little research I discovered it used to be a pretty kicking fish factory back when it was built in 1930. It closed its doors down in 1969. This factory was nicknamed “The Stink House”
Read more about it here
I came across this older blog about a girl that set out to explore the island, pretty interested pictures (just beware of the coast guard!)
The fishing was not the best. In fact we only had one “real” catch and that was right in the beginning of the day
we also caught a:
- a fishing rod
I think the fishing rod was the biggest success 🙂
BUT my highlight was seeing this amazing and beautiful long nosed fish swim by. Luckily it came back so others saw it too, otherwise I would have looked like I was telling a “mermaid tale” 😉
We are thinking it was either:
A Needle Nose fish that are in the NJ waters like this SMALL guy (they have been known to grow larger, the one I saw was HUGE)
(Still bigger than this)
OR quite possibly a………
This guy caught this in NJ!
The one we saw was not quite as large, BUT it was close!