I want to be free
People search and strive for happiness. How often do you hear “If I had a better job, better body, better XYZ , I would be HAPPY”
Not so. I have learned, and I am sure many others have as well. That happiness is not a result of outside things. Sure it is great and nice to have some money , buy nice things, travel, etc. BUT that will only cause you to chase for more and search for happiness in materials, NOT within
For me, Happiness is freedom
I want to be free. That is my goal. I want to be free of all the things eating away at me. I want to be free of what truly stands in my happiness. For me, freedom looks like this:
Eat what my body craves, when it craves it, without feelings of guilt, dread, resentment. I want to fuel my body and live my life, instead of worrying about making the “right” choices and decisions all day. This only leaves me worried about my next meal. Making sure it is perfect. This also leaves me feeling unfulfilled, hungry and stressed. I want to be FREE
Not worry about what OTHERS think of me. Do they think I look fat? Ugly? Tired? Hate my outfit, or my hair, or my eyes or those lines by my lips? I worry so much about looking perfect for the world and lose focus of what is really important. What is inside me
Its weird. I do not judge others for their appearance. In fact, I find such beauty in others, yet myself, not so much. I feel ugly and ashamed and never good enough. I have a hard time BELIEVING people LIKE me. I feel they have “other” motives for liking me. I have a hard time accepting myself , therefore, have a hard time accepting that others may truly, genuinely like me. I want to be free of worrying if someone thinks I am ugly, or fat, or stupid. I want to be free of putting so much stress on myself to always look and feel perfect. I want to just live my life without ever worrying about that again. Not worrying about if someone will loose interest in me, once they see me in sweats, messy hair, sleepies in my eyes.
It is exhausting trying to keep up the persona of being “perfect” I am not perfect, I am perfectly IMPERFECT as Summer Innanen (My favorite BODY POSITIVE BLOGGIE!! would say) Check her out here
I want to be FREE to be me and not care what others think of me. I know my true friends love me as I am, as I love them as they are ❤
I want to be free of worrying about tomorrow , so much so, that I am unable to focus on today. RIGHT NOW. Because in all honesty, tomorrow is not a certainty. Only this moment right now is. Yet my head fills up with worry about what is to come…….I fail to see what is RIGHT there in front of me
I want to be free of always seeking a challenge, then becoming bored once I have achieved it and only looking for my next challenge. I want it to be enough to be just as and focus on bettering what I already have
I am not striving towards happiness. I just want to be FREE….