Things will be different WHEN……….
I am healthier BOTH Physically and Emotionally/Mentally
*You fill in the line ABOVE with YOUR belief*
How many times have you stopped yourself from achieving your dreams and goals because you feel you are not capable of attaining those things because you are NOT at a certain weight, make a certain amount of money, have a certain type of relationship, fill in the blank??
Well that is me. I end up being in a miserable, downward spiraling slump because I am not where I am at in my life or where I had envisioned being. Its about time for me to let go of those unrealistic expectations and start working on living NOW instead of WHEN…..
I will be happy WHEN…..
I get my dream job, you know, the one I am 100% happy with all the time, make big bucks, work those perfect hours. Things are on my terms
I find that special romantic partner that is everything I have ever imagined and more. He aides in my happiness , enjoys similar interests, we do not judge each other, have that perfect amazing fire and attraction. Things are on my terms
I achieve those perfect friendships. We are always on the same page. We have pillow fights. Things are on my terms.
I can eat intuitively and not worry about gaining weight, how I look, what I want to eat, how much of it I want to do. Oh things will be so different. Things will be happy and perfect since I have freed up all that space that overtakes most of my day. I wont have to worry about seeing friends for fear of hunger striking, ending dates and nights early because I am starving and want to go home to eat (in shame).
When I can give up beating myself up over exercising, burning calories and moving. If I can only get all those things done in the day AND yet manage to focus on everything else, then I will achieve happiness and things will be different…….
What is it that I have been chasing all these year?
I have always imagined things being BETTER if I were just THIN and HEALTHY. If I could just eat what I want, exercise when I want and still remain THIN, then I would achieve ultimate happiness.
This is my story. This is my reason for being unable to attain true happiness. This is my reason for feeling stuck.
Of course I will not move on , grow and love myself with such tough expectations on myself.
I can not do and be everything all the time. I can not make everyone ELSE happy and give myself the love I need as well.
I have been chasing so much all these year…….yet really holding myself back from being present and being grateful for what I do have.
I THOUGHT I would be happier picking up and moving. I did not think I needed people. I thought I needed and wanted change and challenge
Yet, change and challenge are WITHIN me. Not 500 miles away. I do not need to go far to make changes. The only thing that has done is making those changes a bit harder. I have learned the hard way about the things I took for granted. I never appreciate what is RIGHT there in front of me until my world is turned upside down
What a huge eye opener and reminder to just enjoy each day and moment for what it is and what it is worth and the potential it has.
I am trying hard to pull myself out of this downward spiral and slump I have gotten myself in. I feel like I have placed myself in uncomfortable situations in ALL areas of my life. Food, career, relationships. Life in general is tough for me right now. SO I know I need to make changes.
Yet those changes need to be small , personal and from within. I do not need to move mountains in order to work on myself and grow
So I may not be where my HEAD tells me I should be, but that should NOT stop me from answering these questions………
Why can’t I be happy in my job NOW?
Why can’t I be happy in my body now?
Why can’t I be happy in my relationships NOW?
I put myself down, telling myself I can not have or be all those things UNTIL I reach my ideal of physical and emotional health, but I already know myself and that will NEVER happen. Ill always set HIGHER goals, jsut like I do/did with food and exercise. SO right now I need to figure out how to start living in the moment and living today as if I were where I “think” I should be. I need to let go of that unrealistic thinking and just be happy being me…..