Healthy Lifestyle

Alone

I want to be alone so that……

I can wear sweats and not feel guilty for not looking “good enough” or pretty enough

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I don’t have to compare myself to other women, or feel like others are comparing me to them

I can think about my goals , future as well as reflect on what is NOT working on me

 I can NEVER turn the television on

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I can run out to the store whenever I want. Even if its just for a pack of gum. I don’t want you to tell me otherwise, or convince me not to go

I can do what I want when I want

Go for my long walks and listen to my audio books

Go out with friends when I feel like it, without needing to see them every day

I can hide from the world when I want to

I can feel crappy and not have to pretend I feel great

I can go to sleep at 9 or 1 am , whenever I feel like

I can cry

I can call or text people in my life

I can blog

I can beat myself up for not being good enough

I can feel fat, ugly and bloated

I can sit with a frown on my face when I feel sad instead of pretending to be happy and forcing a smile

Have messy hair, no make up

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Wear mismatched socks or ugly underwear

Sit quietly and read, not having to talk or entertain

Eat what I want, went I want without feeling judged by others, or more importantly myself

Read my blogs, horoscopes

Not have to worry about disappointing you

Not to have to worry about you leaving me or finding someone better

 I can’t get hurt

 I can’t judge you for things I don’t agree with, then feel guilty about because I am judging and I would not want anyone to judge me

I don’t have to worry about you looking at other people/women

I don’t have to feel like I am not good enough for you

I don’t have to worry about making you a meal when I am tired, hungry and feeling selfish

I don’t have to take care of you because I can barely take care of myself at this time

I don’t have to make myself feel uncomfortable by asking you for help

I don’t have to shower for a 2nd time after work in order to feel like I look “nice”  because I feel it s not good enough for someone else

I realize most of the negative reasons I want to be alone is because I can not effectively communicate what I DO want and need…..I realize that others most likely won’t care if I don’t always do what they want, but in my head I feel like a failure………SO I realize I still have a lot of work to do. I am a work in progress:

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