Healthy Lifestyle

You say goodbye…I say Hello :)

Self discovery is ……

hard y’all.

I had an “aha” moment yesterday about this.
I am having a very hard time giving up and saying good bye to the old me. Yet that old me was NEVER really me , just what I thought everyone wanted and expected me to be

“Clean eater, healthy, runner, loves to exercise,loves to restrict and eat the same foods over and over”.

That was me. All of me. Pretty much

I kept up this act for 20 some years. I was know as Ms. Healthy. Ms Perfect Eater. Ms Loves to Exercise.

There is nothing wrong with being any of those things, but when it consumes you and makes you unhappy…….it is not healthy.

This is why when I look back or people talk about things in the part….I genuinely do not remember.

I think I am too young for dementia  🙂 so I believe, this is because I was acting like what I thought I should be, do , look like. I was too concerned with what others thought that. Completely occupies my thoughts. Leaving no time or energy for me to…love my life.

Friendships and relationships suffered because I had to punish myself. Then there was no energy left for “everything else”

All it did was consume my every thought. Make me miserable. Depressed. I never felt good enough but the high from others comments kept me going
So now here I am. Looking back saying “who the hell was that?!”

And even more startling and scary “who the hell am I now”?
I enjoy almost the complete opposite of what I was. I love more sedentary activities. Reading. Coloring. Journaling. Being creative. Writing.

Yes I still enjoy movement but for pleasure Walks. My yoga.
Yet I feel guilty. I’m having g a hard time saying goodbye for good to that old me.

She keeps putting stuff in my head

“go ahead get up at 4:30AM and run. It will be out of the way and you will have the rest of the day ahead of you and will have burned calories so it will be ok to eat…still healthy choices of course”.

And I realize this will just spiral right back into the old me
So I fight it.

It’s hardddddd. So hard.

Yet I am starting to enjoy my gentler kinder life more…but it’s so scary to say goodbye and good riddens.

  
  

Healthy Lifestyle

Friday Faves

Happy Friday y’all!

Friday’s give ME a sense of comfort, relief and excitement. Maybe it is the weekend ahead, sleeping in a bit, coffee, walks, friends and just catching up, or maybe it is just because it is much needed. Whatever the case. I hope that I can make everyday feel like a FRIDAY, that is my personal goal.
Here are a few of my favorite things this rainy Friday here in SC 🙂

ONE

Bullet Journaling

This is SO me. I am so excited to start one of these babies


  
So….what is it!?

The Bullet Journal is a customizable and forgiving organization system. It can be your to-do list, sketchbook, notebook, and diary, but most likely, it will be all of the above. It will teach you to do more with less.

So a bullet journal starts with a key.  Similar to this


This helps you plan and organize and get things done (or not!) I guess the teacher in me loves the idea behind it

The rest is up to YOU! This is where I need some direction because I know myself and will try to do it all. I want to serve a purpose and bet space.  A place to journal , place my thoughts and ideas and….we’ll get shit done!

 

PS….I already started mine!!!

My $2 journal find at tj max

 
TWO

This workbook/journal has been SO helpful

THREE

Speaking up and speaking my mind

FOUR

Saying No and saying Yes

FIVE

Friends

I have made some incredible friends. They have allowed me to grow into myself and BE myself, which for once is something I am allowing and (still) working on.

I used to mold into what others wanted me to be or do. No more.

I am so grateful and thankful for my friends that have accepted me JUST the way I am . How lucky, fortunate and grateful I am

Today I had breakfast with a dear friend, then an impromptu lunch with another amazing friend.

Thank you for letting me be ME even if you (or I) don’t always like it. Thank you for growing with me in my journey ❤

SIX

yup.

SEVEN

I love love love mechanical pencils! They give me the best looking writing and feel so great in my hand. The only thing better than mechanical pencils would be…………..COLORED mechanical pencils!! Oh my , how my journal would ❤ me

I wonder if gel pens will give me the same effect?