Healthy Lifestyle

Home is where our story begins……

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My parents are re-discovering their “homes” as I am discovering my own………

Dream Life

How cool is this!

Here is the link in case you want to buy it (and invite me over!)

Thinking

Solitude silence

As I was walking the other day, there were two cars at a red light. A woman, and a guy behind her. She must have run a red light or committed some other road “crime” and the man proceeded to YELL and scream and said the WORST words to her.  I wish I would have said something, I was in a state of shock, I could not believe it. Yes, she did something “Bad” but two wrongs don’t make a right. She was scared of him. She was intimidated. I hate that. No human deserves to be treated that way for a mistake.  I am not sure it was impactful for her and will prevent her from not doing the same thing again.  I need to speak up and speak out.

Thinking about making my house my home. I want to decorate in a way that fits and suits me. I want it to be practical, convenient and welcoming. Currently searching for a dining room sideboard and some kitchen items ( a mirror and some glass pieces). I am so fortunate to have friends with an eye for these things to help me get out of my “black or white”, traditional way of thinking.

Inspired

To just be me. I am so tired of thinking I should be someone or something else. This is me, like it or not. I see so many wonderful examples all around me, and really need to let go of the fear of judgment that I may be looked at as “Selfish”.  I am making the best of my time, doing what I want, regardless if others judge me. We can’t ever control what others think, so why keep doing the same things over and over that I know will make me unhappy.  I want to :

Leave when I want to leave

Eat what I want to eat

Wake up/go to sleep when I want

Do things alone as much as I want to or need to

Change my mind, without guilt

 

Grateful

  • For my lighter summer schedule.
  • Friends decorating tips and thoughts ( I am stuck in “Traditional” mode and struggle to think outside the “box”
  • My family in Poland secretly arranged a meeting for my mom of her “class” from when she went to school and lived in Poland! I cannot believe they did this!  How incredible and amazing of an experience is that! I am so grateful for my family bringing a smile and happiness to my mom! I briefly spoke with her and she was headed out with her school friend to meet up with other school friends. I can’t wait to hear this story!

Her home village

Her old school friend whom she went to 1st & 2nd grade with

Sharing

I love the enneagram.  I find it to be the most accurate and descriptive about my personality type. Interested in finding out yours? Take the test here (I like this one because it gives you your top 3 types, because we are unique, we don’t fit perfectly into one description

Today, I feel I identify most with a type 5, The Investigator, The Observer, The Scholar 

How to get along with me…

  • Be independent, not clingy; be succinct
  • Tell me upfront exactly what I’m committing to
  • Plan an exit strategy with me for social events
  • Be straightforward, frame requests rationally
  • Ideally, I want a home base that is drama-free
  • When I open up a little, know it’s big for me
  • Don’t put me on the spot, give me warning
  • Keep clear boundaries, be aware of mine
  • Don’t intrude on the area I’ve deemed mine
  • If you want me to share, lead by example
  • I’m private, emotions are a foreign language

LOVED this description of your type explained in relationships (romantic and platonic), I find it very accurate and a great checkpoint for myself , Read more HERE

 

I purchased these shorts and this light waterproof jacket for my upcomming Poland adventure. I plan on hiking and am hoping these shorts, and this rain jacket will hold me through.

What am I going to pack, bring, wear, etc to Poland/Prague?  Exciting and stressful all at once

Love this idea. Conversation starters for your next dinner party. I also plan on using this with my students this summer

Rose: not only do I get to see my parents in a couple weeks. I get to see a lot of my family.

Bud: letting go over what others think, truly letting this go.

Thorn: the anxiety I have over starting my summer school program. The anxiety of travel plans I have (what will I wear. What will I wear. Will I be comfortable. Will I be exhausted. ). Focusing on the now. This very moment. Another thorn or fear of mine:  Disappointing others.

Reading

House Rules by Jodi Piccoult. This is such a great book. Inside look into Aspergers from all viewpoints (self, family, society, etc), interwoven with mystery and suspense

 

Up Next:

I have two books that just became available from my holds, going to try to decide which one I am in the mood for

The Unhoneymooners

The Mother In Law

Healthy Lifestyle

I am a nobody, who are you?

Image result for emily dickinson I am a nobody

Thinking

Love what you do, be proud of who you are, all of your accomplishments (and flaws) NOT just in front of your kids (or others) But in front of everyone!  Awesome article here

YES! Please stop, not only teachers but anyone that is not an introvert (or as introverted) Please stop telling others to change!  Great read

A recent re-injury has me thinking, AM I REALLY LISTENING to my body? Nope. I am not. This has been my biggest struggle. Some days I feel like a Robot. I don’t know HOW to listen to my body. Definitely a practice I will continue to work on understanding. HOW TO START LISTENING TO YOUR BODY (Link)

Tips to be a better conversationalist. Yes! I can’t stand the minute details. Like dates. Or names or things that do not matter to the conversation. Just spit it out! My patience and tolerance are low. Here are some great suggestions (link here)Image result for please just stop talking

Is a yoga mat considered carry on luggage?

Reading

Nothing better than a few great reads in a row! Hoping to keep the streak going and not end up with a book hangover!Image result for book hangover

Watching

Some amazing 8th graders graduate last night!! So beyond proud of them.  What an inspirational class that amazes me in so many ways. CONGRATS Class of 2023!

Dream Life

Love this neutral on neutral inspired Living Room SO Much!

Inspired By

The above picture, to work on my home during the summer ❤

A conversation with a friend about HUGS!  Curious, do you hug, hug and kiss, get touchy with friends?  I admit I would like to be more so, but am not really able to at the moment. I crave it, yet fear it.  Read more Image result for types of hugs

Forming HEALTHY relationships, staying away from toxic ones.  Great tips and info here if you think you may be in one

Finding your ikigai. FASCINATING!

 

Sharing

I love and always will the Trader Joes Coconut Body Butter lotion. This summer I am truly LOVING the Cucumber Avocado Body Butter, so hydrating, smells amazing and feels so cool and refreshing on!

Trader Joe’s Cucumber Avocado Body Butter Limited Edition 8 Oz W/ Shea

I am scared. So scared.  Scared to be ….me.   Lately, I have been doing things out of my comfort zone. It has been terrifying, beautifully, scary.  I love to travel. Solo. This is the first time in quite some time, I am letting go of the control of planning every last thing, finding a quiet room or Airbnb ALL myself, and instead, putting my trust into others. I am going to Poland and Prague for 12 days, yes.  I am scared and excited to see my family, some that I have never met, some that I have met years ago, some that we already have a special connection although we are far apart. Most of all, I am scared of losing myself, I am scared of hushing me inside and telling her to change, to be different, to please others. I am scared of losing that voice.  I am scared if I am me, no-one will like me or love me.  I am scared, but I am more scared of living a life that is unfulfilling to myself. I owe that to myself, we all do.  I feel different. I feel special. I feel weird. I feel loving. I feel all sorts of things as well, and I am pretty sure I am not the only one 🙂

 

Healthy Lifestyle

Love myself I do

Dream Life

Love myself I do. Not everything, but I love the good as well as the bad. I love my crazy lifestyle, and I love my hard discipline. I love my freedom of speech and the way my eyes get dark when I’m tired. I love that I have learned to trust people with my heart, even if it will get broken. I am proud of everything that I am and will become. ~Johnny Weir

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Reading

Miracle Creek 

An Anonymous Girl (I am 90% done, getting so close to figuring things out! Keeping me on my toes!)

American Spy

Watching

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The freakin’ lawn grows like a weed! I have been mowing 2-3 per week!  Each time I finish mowing, I SWEAR the grass has grown since I started.  It does not help that my obsessive-compulsive personality makes it difficult to sit back and relax while I KNOW the lawn needs another mowing.  Sheesh!

The good news? The lawn is still green (well green-ish)!

Inspired By

Since it is Fathers Day, this will be fitting. I am inspired by my father and his “Do as I want” lifestyle.  My dad is known to mysteriously disappear from dinner, a wedding, church, a party, ANYTHING, to go do what he wants. He does not even think twice about it, and most importantly he is doing what he wants without even a worry that he may be upsetting or hurting someone else.  He KNOWS this is not his intent, therefore he does not even think twice.  He does as he pleases.

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He is such a big kid at heart…..

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and “cleans up” fairly well 🙂

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JUST Don’t mess with EITHER one of us when we are hungry……..NOT GOOD

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Thank you for making me love the outdoors and nature (although I lack the green thumb)

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Thank you dad for giving me those legs and calves!  

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Always providing me and giving me whatever I needed or wanted, like the top bunk!

I want to be like my father. I want to do what I want. I want to listen to my heart, my gut, my intuition.  I want to do things without worrying that I am offending or upsetting someone else. I want to get better at being responsible for my own actions, and not feeling responsible for the way someone ELSE percieves my choices.
Thank you, dad, for teaching me SO much.

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You have given me your strength

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Your “Work hard, rest later” attitude

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Most of all your love and dedication to us…..

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I am missing our annual Fathers Day Fishing Trip today (which originated as a child when we would set off before the sun rose, grab a dozen donuts #bostonCremeForLife, and be on our merry way) Image result for boston cream donutsbut my dad is experiencing a well-deserved trip that he has put many years of labor, hard work and dedication towards. I love you, dad, I hope you are having the time of your life!  Can’t wait to join you on our next adventure! 

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Grateful For

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The rain.  It saves me about 30 minutes of watering!

Thinking

Where I’m Not Fulfilled: One of my favorite podcasters (OLD podcast) attended a show author, Chalene Johnson’s, book launch party, in which she had everyone complete a task!

On a scale of 0-10 (10 being completely satisfied and 0 being not at all, and 7 not being allowed), rate where you’re feeling for the following categories:

physical health
mental well-being
environment & surroundings
hobbies & restorative activities
romantic
friends & family
financial
significance
spirituality
personal growth

This is a great way to show which areas you may need to pay a little more attention to!

Sharing

I can’t believe it, BUT I am going to Poland and Prague for 12 days in August! I am beyond excited as I just book my flight tickets today! This will be the first time since I was a baby that my mom, dad and I will be in Poland together at the same time!! I am so much looking forward to this adventure filled with family, hiking, exploration and discovering new things!

The Tatra mountains in Poland

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Prague, Czech Republic

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Healthy Lifestyle

The Idea of You

Dreaming

Thinking

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 Why can’t I settle for something else for one night that is out of my typical “routine”. Stop me from overthinking and just enjoy!   It prevents me from wanting to do anything at all. I would rather stay in my zone, my comfort, instead of trying something new. I already set myself up for failure I tell myself I will not be happy or satisfied. But then If I don’t do it I am not happy nor satisfied either. I am ridden with guilt.

 I am TIRED of letting these feelings ruin my day. They appear first thing in the morning, or the night before and I cant LET go. I am SO great at letting go of things in other areas of my life, yet this is one thing, I still hold on to.

Image result for tooth hanging on by a thread      Like a loose tooth when I was a child. Remember it just barely hanging in there? A little string. Yet I feel overcome with fear about pulling it. What if it hurts too much? I think this is where I am at now.  What if things hurt too much. Or what if they feel TOO GOOD (gasp!!)  Then what? I am torn. I want to follow my intuition. Do what I want, but I also want to make sure I am not avoiding new opportunities out of fear. This is the constant battle in my head.   Yet I feel like when I “try” new things, I find myself being happier that I at least tried it and got it over with. Failing to enjoy or see the pleasure in it. Just another thing to check off my TODO list.  I would have RATHER done my initial, “Selfish” plan. If given a choice to go out with others, or go out by myself. I will always choose myself. This feels so wrong. This is the ugly shadow that I can’t yet accept.  

I am terrified of pain and not feeling MY BEST.  Temporary is ok. Long lasting is NOT.  Feeling sad for a few minutes, that’s ok.  Feeling pain for a few minutes, that is ok.  All day, hours? No.  In the past, I have dealt with A LOT of pain and it has been my mission to avoid that now.  I want to feel good, my best, ALL the time. This prevents me from taking risks. Some ways it is healthy. I am SCARED to drink a glass of wine, even though I may want it, for FEAR of not feeling well the next morning.  If I don’t feel well, I will NOT be able to do the things I enjoy and want and have planned for. My yoga practice will suffer. I will be groggy, tired, cranky. My head will hurt, eyes feel sensitive. Yes. I feel this way after having a half a glass of wine, at times. Then I question. Do I even really want the wine? I don’t even know.  I am fine without it. I enjoy the IDEA of it and what comes along with it. “If I have a glass of wine, I will feel relaxed, more open, calm” but why can’t I have and feel those things without it? I don’t know what the answer is. I try to listen to myself, and usually, the IDEA of having a glass of wine sounds great, but my reality is, I don’t really want it.  Sure it’s good, but I enjoy a cup of coffee (as long as it is from Wawa) just as much. In the bigger picture, when I look back at the times I chose not to have a glass of wine when the idea popped into my head. I am happy. I was able to spend the entire following day doing what I want, feeling MUCH better than I would if I had that glass of wine. I think the lesson here, for me, is to not get caught up in the “Idea” of things and really listen to myself.  

We have many “ideas” and ideals about the way things should be, should go, should ……..should ……..should. Yet this idea prevents us from living our true genuine life.  Whether it is the idea that in order to be seen, we need expensive dresses or cars. We need to wear makeup and look put together at all times. The idea that we need to be social butterflies. The ideas that we need to exercise and push ourselves daily. The idea that we need to eat certain foods. The idea that we need to be perfect instagramable parents.  Those are ideas. Not what is in our hearts. 

The next time you find yourself WANTING something, sit back a moment and think about it  Do you really want this? Or is it the IDEA you want.

Reading

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Miracle Creek – Still trekking through this one!! It IS getting better!

City of Girls – About 75% through and I am really enjoying this!! Some hilarious moments!  I don’t know how writers come up with these things!

My Oxford Year – I was pleasantly surprised by this book!! I really enjoyed it. It was beautiful!  (4/5 stars)

Looking for a good summer read?  Here are a few of my recommendations that I think are PERFECT summer reads!

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Summer Sisters by Judy Blume – This is one of my all time favorites!

Daisy Jones and the Six – Summer vibes!

Verity – you will finish this in one beach day

The Forever Summer

Still House Lake (#1) Suspenseful

Firefly Lane 

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Love to read? Hate to read? READ this, please ❤    So many benefits!

Watching

  •  I want to go to NYC just to see these punching bags and see people punching them (maybe punch them myself!? Read more HERE
  • My own accomplishment, moving, watering and keeping a lawn and flowers ALIVE!

Inspired by

Grateful

  • The smiles I have seen in recent photos of my parents latest journey and adventure. Each time I speak/video chat with my mom or dad, they are radiant!
  • Being so busy that I do not even have time to miss my parents
  • I may have the opportunity to travel again this summer
  • My voice. Being able to speak up, still a challenge BUT a work in progress
  • My cousin from Poland and I are both teachers. We have been Pen Pal’ing with our students all year. It has been such an incredible experience. We have learned SO Much.  This week we received a box filled with Polish candy along with our letters!  img_0651

Sharing

  • Bucket list item right here
  • Luna oil I use this at night and love it SO MUCH. Some dislike the smell, I actually love it!
  • Obsessed with my new glasses from Warby Parker! img_0612
Healthy Lifestyle

“Friends ask you questions;

enemies question you.” ~Criss Jami, Healology

Dreaming

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About going here 

Love

Lacey Dress (In “Marie”) FYI It is NOT lacey 🙂

Going to NYC soon ?? (especially solo)? Check this out

Thinking

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Sometimes I feel I don’t need or want connection but that is NOT right at all. I do crave connection. But the RIGHT connection(s). What I don’t want is all the things that go along with it that make me feel uncomfortable. What  I don’t want is others to rely on me or count on me or expect me to do and be their EVERYTHING. I don’t want people to be angry with me for turning down their offers. Yet I also don’t want them to STOP asking me because what if I do want to or feel like doing something. Selfish? Yes. Yet, I am the type of person/friend that if you need me or something or need to talk. I would/will be there. I just can’t connect physically every day. It’s too much for me. I like my routine and schedule and my freedom to float from place to place. I like to be a butterfly. Free.  I like to read and unwind and sleep early. I love to get up early and get the most important things done and out of my way.

This is my shadow self. Image result for my shadow self

The deep, ugly part of myself that I truly hate. This is my biggest struggle to overcome because I still feel WRONG. Articles I read, people I speak to, think I am wrong or weird for feeling this way. I constantly question myself. It’s not that I don’t want connection. I do actually want that. I guess what I really want is comfort. Being okay telling people EXACTLY how I feel. No, I don’t want you to see me or step into my “routines”. No, I don’t want you to judge me, no I don’t want you to give up on me and walk away, I want you to accept me as I am because I am not quite there yet. I am still struggling with the belief I am wrong. Maybe once I achieve this freedom of truly not caring. I will be able to form better connections with others, knowing that if I need/want to leave, cancel, etc, that I will still be loved and not discarded.

As always, my intentions are NEVER to hurt anyone. This NEVER has to do with anyone but me. I am empathic I CAN understand why another person would choose to walk away from me. Quite honestly, I am not certain I would be able to give someone like “me” my friendship either. I get it, truly do. There are certain things I am great at. I will get things done. If you ask, I will do the best I can. Yet I can’t be the many things others want or need me to be for them.
am so fortunate for the people that accept me. I am so grateful for this!  The person I feel most comfortable is my mother. She accepts me as I am. Yes, she voices her thoughts sometimes out of frustration, but she is still there for me, not giving up. Some times I will stop by her house and stay for 5-10 min. She says “Ok love you BYE, thanks for stopping” Other times I end up staying for hours, she reacts just the same. Yes, I see the happiness in her that I was able to stay longer and be at ease. This is easy for me with her because she does not have expectations of me. This feels so good and so freeing and I want all of my connections to be this fluid.   I hate feeling that my freedom is being taken from me, it triggers many things for me.  I can’t and won’t ever feel “stuck” again.

This has probably been the most difficult post/piece I have ever written. I think I have just realized my fear. It is being left behind if I am not the way someone else wants or needs me to be. xoxo 

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There are two types of people:  1. Those that arrive at the airport super early  2. Those that are running through the airport hoping to not miss their flight.  Super Interesting! Which one are you? I’ll be at the airport 3 hrs early. Thank you very much. 🤓

Grateful

Lucy and Lily 🙂

Great tool for helping you decide if it is a NEED or a WANT (read here)

My friend in France shared this amazing video about BREATHING and SO much more!  Take a few minutes to watch it and…………breathe.

Inspired

The Perfect relationship 🙂

Loneliness, Volunteering, and connection? How do they all connect? What a wonderful read.  Yes. I think this is my “calling”. I think I am designed to volunteer and help others ]

I need to READ this daily  I think of authentic communication as sharing the unfiltered essence of ourselves with others, including our identities, feelings, needs, boundaries, and desires.

Love these 11 ways to live by

Watching

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People at the pool, without judgment 🙂

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Planet Earth, so calming 🙂

Reading

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Miracle Creek –  My husband asked me to lie. Not a big lie. He probably didn’t even consider it a lie, and neither did I, at first . . .It is getting good!

My Oxford Year – This also finally grasped me!  I did not expect a sad turn , hoping for a happier ending

Can’t Hurt Me:  Master Your Mind – INFURIATING!

Sharing

Deviled Crab Dip – You’re welcome 🙂

Cleaning out your closets? Read this article about donating 🙂

My new sneaks (from Everlane) have arrived!  Last week after some research, I ordered these sneakers from Everlane for their sustainability and eco-friendliness!  My initial thoughts are mixed.  I love the quality. You can tell they are excellent quality. My first thoughts were that they would last a long time.  About the shoe? They are very hard. Not flexible at all like typical sneakers. A bit difficult to put on. I wonder if they will soften with wear (I assume yes). I ordered a FULL size up, hesitantly, but am happy I did as they fit PERFECT (Definitely size up). I ordered the Navy Blue (size 9) in hopes I could wear these outdoors for my walks and they could handle the mud and dirt.  I truly loved the light blue, “Glacier” color but opted for the Navy.  I wonder if these will actually be comfortable to walk in (once they soften a bit) They do not have much support and are so stiff. I worry my feet will hurt.  I love the way they are made and how supportive they feel, but I worry if they will be suitable for what I need. Also, the color…I don’t know, feels like it makes the shoes a bit “orthopedic” looking.  Attaching a few photos would LOVE your thoughts 🙂

Everlane Tread trainer in Navy (Size 9)