On feeling content

READING

My anxiety has been sky high the past few weeks. I can’t find the source or reason, which I am certain includes many things and not just one culprit, regardlesss, my reading life has suffered as a result. I am struggling to find peace or joy with what I am reading. It has been a lot of starting and putting down, which is ok, but also annoying because i just want to get lost in something (possible to avoid the current discomfort I feel throughout my entire body)

I have settled on a few that are making me slow down and enjoy, both are backlist books, which hit the spot:

A Place for Us – this is a long, beautifully written and quiet story. I find myself thinking often of my students, and my own childhood experiences. A deep look into the cultural and familial aspects of an Indian family, beginning with the celebration of a wedding. This brought back many childhood memories of my own culture and differences, the yearning to fit in, not adept to the culture I was currently living daily. This story is beautiful and heartbreaking with every day life situations. A slow burn but enough to keep your attention. I feel like I am part of this family. It feels warm and cozy, even though there are difficult topics. After all, isn’t that the reality of life?

On the complete opposite spectrum, a book that is feeding my “Saltburn” hangover, is “Social Creature” – major “The Talented Mr. Ripley vibes” and rich girl/poor girl drama. Dark and intriguing.

A few I have picked up and put down, just because the timing was not right (I will go back to these, possibly)
The Husbands

The Summer Affair

Good Material

Have you read any of the above? Thoughts?

THINKING

My dream day and life

*****TW – Talk of disordered eating******

I wake without the sound of an alarm. My body feels light, there is no urgency or pull to go to the gym, move, or start my day. I lounge and rest and think about all the wonderful people and things in my life. I feel warm, safe, CONTENT.

I get up when I finally feel like it, I don’t take note of the time. I make myself a wonderful cup of coffee and add the creamer (without measuring anything out) until it is the color I like. Very light. I take a sip and wonder what I want for breakfast. I think I feel like pancakes, at the local cafe. I get dressed, slowly, into something warm and cozy, and make my way over to the cafe. I feel good. I am not hungry starving or angry because I want to eat right away. I am CONTENT.

I arrive, and order more coffee, in a pretty kettle, I can self-pour when I want. Of course, all the accompaniments surround it. I add what I want. I also get some juice. Orange today. I browse the menu. So much looks so good, what do I want? I think I will try a few different things. The pancakes, of course, with all the fixings, and I also want the fruit/yogurt/granola parfait, for now, I will start with these.

I eat and enjoy. Not reading anything, not scarfing down to avoid thinking about the calories. I eat slowly, enjoy every bite, and wonder about the care put into making this meal for me. How great it is to have a lazy morning, with someone else preparing for me. After I eat, I drink more coffee and order a few pastries to go. I nibble on a few on my car ride home.

When I get home, I read a bit, in bed, my cozy little nook. When I finish the chapter, I shower and think about the rest of my day. The museum has a new exhibit, that may be fun! Why not? I go.

The museum is wonderful. I take my time, see what I want, and read the captions. I write down in my notebook a few of the artists and styles I like.

Next to the museum is a cool bookstore that I never have been in. I grab a chai tea latte inside and wander. Touching, looking, and reading all the books I judge by their covers. I buy a few without thinking about the cost or that I could easily get these at the library or Amazon. I think about how lovely they will look on my new built-in bookcase (with window seating of course)

I stop at a cafe for a little treat and to watch people. I sit and just watch. quiet, slow. Wonder where each person is going? What is their life like? What do they do for a living?

I am CONTENT. I do not feel like going home yet (The house is clean and organized, I have nothing to do there). The weather is perfect. The sun feels so good on my skin.
There is a jazz bar nearby. I still have some time before the players arrive, I will walk around and browse the lovely little shops. Smell the perfumes, touch the fabrics, and make a few purchases, without guilt. I feel so good. I am warm, content, and not thinking about food, exercise, or calories.

I make my way over to the low-lit, speakeasy-styled jazz bar. They are setting up. I find the perfect table and begin to read one of the books I bought today. I am not thinking about food or drink or money. When the waitress finally comes over, I ask for the menu, instead of ordering my “safe” go-to items. I want something spicy to drink, something I can take my time with, sip on, and savor. I order the spicy cocktail that is amazing and ask for snacks to go along with it. Crackers, nuts, olives, cheeses (vegan) pretzels (oh gosh, pretzels, YUM) I try each item to see which tastes best with my drink. I decided the pretzels were the perfect combination. The salty pretzels and the slight sweetness and spice of my drink are perfect. I don’t count the number of pretzels I eat, I don’t notice if the bowls get lower or empty. I don’t even notice when the waitress refills my drink and brings more snacks. I am just sitting, enjoying. Not a thought in the world about food or movement.

The jazz band is excellent. I can stay here, I am CONTENT. I am not hungry, thinking about getting home to eat something. I am not worried that I have sat more today than moved/walked. I just am. I am enjoying this. It feels so good. Warm, safe, perfect

When I finish, I call an Uber to take me home. No urgency, because I am CONTENT. My cat is waiting for me at home, not worrying about what I may walk into. Will he be drunk? High? No, no one is there, besides my cat, and maybe the perfectly trained cute pup I just adopted? Yes, it is quiet, but I love it. I have people in my life that I love and that love me. I have met many interesting people today and have my fill of socialization. The cute, smart guy at the museum also had a notebook. The small group of women in their 50s at the jazz bar

It was fun. It was fulfilling. I feel CONTENT

I can’t wait to do this again but it will be completely different. Different foods, different places, different people. It is not the same. It is never the same unless I want it to be

IS THIS WHAT LIVING CAN BE?

SHARING

I look forward to reading Hitha’s substack each and every Sunday. This week she includes a challenge which I feel is wonderful and so eye opening. It encourages you to think about your days on a health, wellness, social, work aspect and just like on a tick timer, rate and journal about what your day looks like at a level 0, 3, and 5 (5 being the best). Here is the actual prompt she includes:

• Journal what a level 0, level 3, and level 5 days look like for you
• Go deeper in each of these days and make note of these specific areas:
  • Sleep
  • Meals
  • Exercise
  • How you spend your personal time
  • Time with your loved ones
• Take a look at your level 3 & 5 things in these categories, and highlight the ones that feel fairly easy and effortless. Write them down in a separate note in your phone or wherever you keep your notes to help reference when you’re having a level 0-1 day

A level 5 day for me would be glorious. I would love to find a way to achieve the sensation more. My “5” day would include

• feeling content in my body and mind (food, movement, mental health)
• Feeling energized and alive
• Full of excitement and energy 
• Wanting the day to feel endless
• Not spending the majority of the day thinking about food – eating what I want, when I want, and not second guessing or dissecting decisions
• 1-2 hours of social time with someone I enjoy/feel safe around
• Joints feel great
• No stomach issues
• My chest feels light
• My head is clear
• My voice is strong and loud and outspoken
• Speaking up when something does not feel/sit right with me
• Having patience (with myself and others)
• Enjoying the moments, instead of waiting for them to end or getting to the next thing
• Rest without guilt

What does a level 0, 3, 5 day look like for you?

New cocktail vocabulary, for those of you that adore cocktails as I do. I am definitely not a fruit bat, and do not consider myself a “civilian” 😉

This new show sounds pretty incredible, have you watched “One Day” yet?

Wow, at 79, she has visited EVERY country in the world! #goals

One of my goals this year is to have more fun, do more things I enjoy/love, and shake my routine up a bit, So I am excited that I just booked tickets and a hotel to the Hamptons Whodunit festival. I AM SO EXCITED!! So many great authors, signings and activities!!!

Would you spend $50 on a box of croissant cereal?

WANTING

Doen has such lovely things, like this flirty, feminine top

How fabulous is this rotating puzzle tray! I want!

Super cute set, for summer

Pretty potting table (mom this would look great in your sun room!)
The sweetest mini for summer

Summer lovin’

press for champagne (adore this!)

really pretty dress (under $100)

Love the green AND the blue color in this adorable set

have and love this little shell earrings! #excitedforsumma

Love the color and style of this swimsuit!

My friend just posted herself wearing these stunning Lucite Post drop earrings. Jaw drop!

A pair of chunky hoops that look designer (under $15)

While in Target yesterday, a few things caught my eye including this pillow, and these glasses

Another great trouser pant to wear with my new adidas kicks (will they ever come back in stock in my size?)

Currently loving this nail color, which is also on trend, if that matters to you 🙂

What a pretty lamp for a library/study/sitting room

ADORE this chaise/chair/lounger

VOMIT

Can’t wait for this installment of “Wicked”, but really November 2024? Whyyyyyy soooooo longggg

Very much looking forward to watching the summer olympics :). The last time the summer olympics were on, my mom and I traveled to Canada, it was the BEST trip ever. We had a cozy little airbnb and the best part of the trip, the evenings I spent with my dad on the couch watching the summer olympics. <3. So much joy.

My word of the year = CONTENT

Old School

I recall a time when I was much smaller and much younger, trying to fit in and look “cool”. Middle school, ahhhhh, remember those fun days and years?
I recall wanting certain fashion pieces that my mom insisted “These were in style when I was young”, and I gave a little eye roll and went on my merry way, begging for the latest fashion, so I too could be a cool girlie.

These were times I wanted to fit in. I had a brother who was non-verbal and on the spectrum. Came from a Polish-speaking family. I Ate Polish foods and had unique traditions. Now I see how amazing those things were, but when I was 11, all that mattered was fitting in and being cool.
I thought I could achieve that status by having the right clothes and shoes (Silly me, I WAS already cool, duh!) which makes me reminisce of Umbro and adidas, or when my scrunchie had to match my socks 🙂

Today I love style and fashion, but what I love most about it, is how unique it is to everyone. As much as I can appreciate fancy designer finds, I find myself always reaching for comfort.
This leads me down the rabbit hole of the current Adidas gazelle sneaker trend I am seeing everywhere. I love them. I want them. I have my fingers crossed that they will be comfy. I often dream of lazy mornings. Set me up in a cozy spot with a great cup of coffee, some newsletters, or a great book, and just allow time to slip away. Not worried about all the things I should be doing, a to-do list, or the calories I should be expend instead. When I attempt this, my body and brain react, they fight me and tell me stories, that I “know” aren’t true, yet they are so LOUD and so believable. I want to enjoy life more. The simple pleasures. The moments of stillness, breathing, listening. Like many of you, my weeks are nonstop. I feel from 5 am – 8 pm I am constantly on the go. Rushing and moving from one place to another, without much thought. Then the weekend arrives and there is space to slow down, yet I struggle to do so. My brain and body panic. They tell me this is NOT right. I need to fill my days, live my life, and make smart choices. Use each minute of my day in a PRODUCTIVE way. After all, I am often joyless and unhappy, so the ONLY way to achieve this greatness is by…..doing more. Yet that does not seem right either and is NOT working. Yet the thought of changing things. Not having a plan. Being intuitive on a whim, terrify me to no avail. My stomach begins to cramp, I begin to sweat, and I try to think of OTHER things. I make lists of things I can/should/want to do. Projects I can work on. Research I can do. I punish myself for having those simple thoughts, of a life less in motion, more in stillness. I can imagine I am not alone in this, as often I think I am, I write posts like this only to get so many reactions from others with “Me, too!!!”. I am tired of having a plan, and using every minute of the day “wisely”. Expending more calories than I consume. Why are we so wrongly led to believe this is how we should live? Why is there so much guilt and shame revolved around rest? Why is softness considered so “bad”? It is challenging to navigate and battle these thoughts when the world around you keeps alive the powerful messages that we must always do more, be more, and improve. This prevents many of us from actually achieving what we need and want. I know for a fact, that it has consumed so much of my time and energy that I know I need to make changes, yet I need someone to hold my hand and tell me it’s ok. I wish I were at the point where my voice was the only one I needed, but for now, I need a little more. I am grateful to those around me, whether they know it or not, who give me the hope that one day, freedom can truly become a reality.

source

Adidas gazelles first made its way into our world way back in 1966. Not only could they stand the test of time as being a training shoe, they were also stylish and today can be worn many ways, for many looks. The originals were only available in red and blue (retro) but today you can get them in pretty much any color and materials (suede? leather?). Currently my vibe is the retro red for many things, including those Gazelles, in suede.

Over the years, the shoe has gone through some transitions, yet continues to still maintain their basic framework. I am excited to get my own pair and try to style them in a variety of ways, but more importantly I am seeking comfort. I will report back, but in the meantime, here are a few of my favorite looks and ways I myself plan to wear them!

I love the look of pairing them with a slouchy trouser

Trouser, Target find trouser,

Would look great with some cropped jeans like these, or the ones I currently own for MUCH less

Adidas sambas, crop jean, crop jean that I own

Love the red

Adidas Gazelle (red)

Adidas Samba

On Battles

READING

I finally created (a work in progress) a bookstagram-ish account? Please follow me @ https://www.instagram.com/ireadbooksinbars/ for all things bookish, my latest reviews and lots of other fun stuff!!

Target is currently having a BOGO (Buy one get one 50%) sale on all books! Run!

Oh boy how I need to read all of these ;). 20 Books that will make you believe in love again (I have read a few and they have my approval: Meet Me at the Lake, The Seven Year Slip, Happy Place

Currently reading, The Teacher (Frieda McFadden’s latest) and it is……stooooopid. There I said it, yet I am glued to it. Can’t step away. I want to know what happens. Definately not quality writing, but you know what? I DON’T CARE! I enjoy it because it has me up late, turning the pages. Cringing at the characters and many times saying to myself “Did she really just say/write that!?!?” This is what I need and love, stupid or not 🙂 I will have finished it by this morning and will have a *proper* review on my bookstagram, but for now, If you want something thoughtless that will consume you, read this (Wow, I am really selling this one to y’all! ha!)

Anna O – This gives major “Silent Patient” vibes. I am really enjoying it! Anna has committed a murder, and then a rare sleep condition puts her in a deep sleep for four years, leaving so many questions unanswered. Love the narration and that that there are more than one dilema in this thriller.

So excited and greatly looking forward to Tuesday’s release of Leaving

WANTING

This game brings so much nostalgia!

have and love

These would be fun for a get together or dinner party!

Mad at myself that I *kinda* like these

Just ordered some of these dot grid planning pad for my office

Love these colorful rope sandals for summer!

great low heeled mule love!

Just got a pair of Loft jeans for the fraction of the price of these

Love this matching set!

How much FUN are these leopard tights? Wow

THINKING

I often dream of lazy mornings. Set me up in a cozy spot with a great cup of coffee, some newsletters, or a great book, and just allow time to slip away. Not worried about all the things I should be doing, a to-do list, or the calories I should be expend instead. When I attempt this, my body and brain react, they fight me and tell me stories, that I “know” aren’t true, yet they are so LOUD and so believable. I want to enjoy life more. The simple pleasures. The moments of stillness, breathing, listening. Like many of you, my weeks are nonstop. I feel from 5 am – 8 pm I am constantly on the go. Rushing and moving from one place to another, without much thought. Then the weekend arrives and there is space to slow down, yet I struggle to do so. My brain and body panic. They tell me this is NOT right. I need to fill my days, live my life, and make smart choices. Use each minute of my day in a PRODUCTIVE way. After all, I am often joyless and unhappy, so the ONLY way to achieve this greatness is by…..doing more. Yet that does not seem right either and is NOT working. Yet the thought of changing things. Not having a plan. Being intuitive on a whim, terrify me to no avail. My stomach begins to cramp, I begin to sweat, and I try to think of OTHER things. I make lists of things I can/should/want to do. Projects I can work on. Research I can do. I punish myself for having those simple thoughts, of a life less in motion, more in stillness. I can imagine I am not alone in this, as often I *think* I am, I write posts like this only to get so many reactions from others with “Me, too!!!”. I am tired of having a plan, and using every minute of the day “wisely”. Expending more calories than I consume. Why are we so wrongly led to believe this is how we should live? Why is there so much guilt and shame revolved around rest? Why is softness considered so “bad”? It is challenging to navigate and battle these thoughts when the world around you keeps alive the powerful messages that we must always do more, be more, and improve. This prevents many of us from actually achieving what we need and want. I know for a fact, that it has consumed so much of my time and energy that I know I need to make changes, yet I need someone to hold my hand and tell me it’s ok. I wish I were at the point where my voice was the only one I needed, but for now, I need a little more. I am grateful to those around me, whether they know it or not, who gives me the hope that one day, freedom can truly become a reality.

*I often write in the moment, I do not go back and re-read or edit, because those are my current, scattered thoughts so apologies to those that struggle to follow or make sense of my “word vomit”

SHARING

My friend and I met up at a new local coffee shop and I have to spill the “beans” about it! First, please go! Support local shops and businesses! It is a bit challenging to find if you are not familiar. It is adorable. As I was walking up, a family with two little glittery poofy girls were walking out. Perhaps it was after/before church? Or a fun day out? Or just what they wanted to wear (own it girls!!). I don’t think I will be going again any time soon. As a new business, they still need to grow. The service was not the best, the process was “clunky” to say the least. The premise is great. You can order ((Delicious La Colombe)) coffee in a pretty cup with a saucer, but then you have to weave through children, people, and awkward table placements without spilling or dropping your pretty coffee. I have visited twice and am shocked no one had a “spill”. Maybe I should give others more credit, I suppose this is the paranoia I have working daily with 4th graders :). The staff was lovely but young. They would benefit from having someone clean up a bit after people leave. The tables were left a mess and had to be self-cleaned (fine) but there was nothing available to clean with. The floor was a …..disaster. Those poor Croissants do not deserve such treatment! Also, if you are hungry, be weary, my friend wanted to order something…..only to find out there was no food left. or put away? As we were leaving, we noticed a fresh tray of something yummy looking out on display. Again, please go. This place may be right for you! I just was looking for something quieter and calmer. A place I could read a few chapters of my book (this was a laughable thought). I do believe in time this place will only get better. Especially with warmer days ahead and a lovely outdoor seating area! Overall great (pricey) coffee, maybe order it to go….for now 🙂

THOUGHTS on this Walk-and-talk technique??

Bringing me Joy! 99 Solo date ideas

VOMIT

Why is it that when the weather changes, the sun is out and it feels warmer, that my head begins to throb, my eyes become light sensitive and I sort of just feel……miserable. Yes, I know WHY, but I am just annoyed. I want to enjoy it while feeling my best

I still hate the platform shoe/loafer/lug sole look, Yes, I said it

I dream, daily, of days filled with stillness, reading, eating delicious decadent foods, drinking whatever I like/want/feel in the moment. Without a million thoughts of “shoulds” running through my head. Not worrying if what I did/ate/moved today is more/less/same as yesterday….. I would love to hear from people that live a life free from this? Have you always been this way? reach out and share your story. I want to achieve this (and know I can 😉

On Duality

READING

Some many GREAT upcoming releases I am anticipating!! Those highest up on my list include:

Leaving – Complicated love stories are my THING. I really want to read her backlist Cost, which is about a heroin addict and the struggles he and his family endure, this will a difficult read I imagine.

The Woman on the Ledge

The Resort

End Of Story

Everyone Who Can Forgive Me is Dead

And my most anticipated indulgent author, Frieda’s newest comes on on Tuesday! The Teacher (how fitting) Here is the excerpt: 

Lesson #1: trust no one

Eve has a good life. She gets up each day, gets a kiss from her husband Nate, and heads off to teach math at the local high school. All is as it should be. Except…

Last year, Caseham High was rocked by a scandal, with one student, Addie, at its center. And this year, Eve is dismayed to find the girl in her class. 

Addie can’t be trusted. She lies. She hurts people. She destroys lives. At least, that’s what everyone says. 

But nobody knows the real Addie. Nobody knows the secrets that could destroy her. And Addie will do anything to keep it quiet.

From the New York Times bestselling author Freida McFadden comes a story of twisting secrets and long-awaited revenge.

What do you think? Will you be reading this one?

I read and loved The Search Party – I would describe it as a mash of The Guest List meets The Paper Palace, vibes

Only 25% in but am LOVING When The Reckoning Comes, hauntingly fabulous (Dark fiction/horror) Also reading in physical form, The Engagement Party – already hooked (these both pair very nicely together, as are both wedding related )

WANTING

I am a huge fan of these driving loafers (More affordable option here)

Really adorable and affordable V-day options: This sweater, and this one

Adore her. She’s perfect for spring/summer/vacation

LOVE these chairs (they look designer) and THIS wicker trunk

Pining over these vintage nikes, green or red?

This eyelet piece is perfect for spring/easter/summer (Under $100 – I find H&M sizing to run on the small side, so size up) Also love this “jacket” dress!

Perfect for your super bowl party!!

The perfect (elegant) drinking (or wine/juice) glasses!

My new humidifier/diffuser has arrived and she is so pretty but more importantly works SO WELL! I love that you can keep turn the lights on (different colors) or keep them OFF (which I prefer, I need total darkness) My old diffuser did not have this option. Highly recommend! (Has already helped me with my daily bloody noses!)

OH MY GOODNESS, Target has a new line, including an upholstered bed. So pretty

What a great (smart) sweatshirt! 😉

Pretty in pink

want

Not sure I know anyone personally that would spend over $800 on these High Sport Kicks (Cropped) But here is a great dupe from J. Crew that is actually affordable 🙂

THINKING

This week I came to a realization, one that I have “known” because the words have been spewed at me for most of my life. These words are in the daily newsletters I open and read, interwoven throughout therapy sessions, and creatively expressed via Instagram reels. Duality-Two opposite things and feelings can be true simultaneously. I can love something or someone, yet at times dislike them. I can enjoy travel and dread the process. I can feel disappointment but still love myself.

As I get older, these little moments and phrases become real to me. I hear things all the time, even say them, but do I truly believe them? As they permeate my brain I write and share them with you.

I have many contradictory feelings from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I want to go to yoga, yet don’t want to be in the heat. I want to visit a new bookstore, yet I don’t feel like getting ready and going. I want to write a book, and I also want the extra free time to just rest. I want to get a million things done, and I also want to do nothing. I want to feel better about myself, and I also just want to accept myself and meet myself where I am.

I want to be better at feeling things and being present. I want to focus on those contradictions and just observe them, not make lists of pros and cons or ruminate about different outcomes of my actions, which is a road I often find myself on.

I want to stray from the black-and-white thinking I have grown so comfortable with and draw outside the lines. Play with color. I don’t want to hide myself anymore, I want to let others know how I feel.

I love spending time alone, and I also realize I need time to have deep conversations with others. My body and mind crave these conversations and moments. I have long kept emotions inside, only to express myself in unhealthy ways. I realize this now as my mom is away, and I have not had the opportunity to have my daily vent sessions with her. She has been such a safe space and rock for me. She allows me to speak and helps me create and brainstorm ways to feel better and move on. I have a few amazing friends who also have this talent (Thank you, I love you!) and I am striving to be this for others as well.

It is difficult when you don’t have a partner. Not that all partners are great at listening or speaking, but I suppose in my mind, they are. I do not pine for a partner, but I do want to continue to express myself. Think aloud. Talk. Change my mind without repercussions or resentment.

Ideally, I would love to be this for myself, but I am not there …..yet! I journal often, but it does not give me the same release or feedback my body and mind so eagerly crave. I still find others’ words more retrospective and helpful than my own. I still don’t believe myself, or my words. I feel they can be inauthentic and just “words”, yet when someone else says them, they feel solid and true.

I know I can and will be this for myself one day. I am working so hard to attain this, a little bit each day. Listening to my intuition, my gut. Speaking up when I normally would not. Asking for time to think about something, before committing. These are challenging for me, but I will preservere because DUALITY: I can not trust myself and at the same time, allow myself small moments of believing my intuition

SHARING

What a beautiful and thought provoking read about a South Philadelphian moving to Italy and letting go of a lot of the social stigma about body image here in the U.S. I agree that the U.S. have a very different (and unhealthy) approach to all of this, compared to other countries in the world. Please read this!

This was a very helpful article on how to achieve more goals within 12 weeks. I have ideas brewing and this was super helpful! Start off by asking yourself/journaling these:

• What is most important to me in all aspects of my life?
• How much time freedom do I want?
• What income do I need (versus want)?
• What do I find fulfilling?
• What dreams do I have, and what risks or barriers are in my way?
• Where do I feel most purpose-led?

Love this list of Little Luxuries, what would you add?

WTF!?

My nails have finally repaired themselves and look HEALTHY again, but of course I am itching for one of these new mani’s!

BRAIN DUMP

Oh my, my brain is currently rushing through too many thoughts and ideas and projects, ADHD? Too much Coffee? Anxiety? A combo of all (most likely). Here I will dump some of the random thoughts in my mind:

1. I want to build a “built-in-bookshelf”
2. I want to visit all the local Free LIttle Libraries and pick out some cool backlist (or new items)
3. I need to clip Penny’s nails
4. Don’t forget to get mouthwash (again, 10th time I forgot)
5. Check to see when my dr. appt is?
6. I should clean….
7. I miss my mom, so happy she is coming back from her trip today, I need to talk to her daily
8. I worry what will happen when I am no longer able to talk to my mom daily (sad sad sad)
9. I should buy a new pair of sneakers today
10. will I have the time to get everything done?
11. UGH, Valentines day.
12. So. Much. More