Wednesday Wants

So I am really loving my holiday spirit and having so much fun shopping for everyone to find that perfect special gift… I am almost done but for a few odds and ends and finishing touches. After the holidays I am definitely working on my own little holiday wants list. Here are some awesome things I’ve had my eye on lately

Sheex performance fleece sheets

“Combining advanced material with smart design, SHEEX® Fleece Performance Sheets offer enhanced comfort for better sleep. Our luxurious fleece keeps you cozy and warm while providing improved air circulation so you don’t feel stuffy, along with a special moisture-wicking enhancement to keep you dry and comfortable.
Featuring Exclusive SLEEP•FIT Technology™:”

Ugh how awesome to crawl into this after a run or yoga!!

Xs thermo windblocker

Totally looking for better protection for winter outdoor runs and activities it without the bulkiness…..

First Christmas……..being single!

And I could not be happier!!  This will be the first time in many years I get to really enjoy myself.  No stress of finding those perfect gifts for my husband or boyfriend, no worrying if he will drink too much, or disappear.   This year it’s just me, Lily and some family time.   I am looking forward to cooking , tasting some new foods I have not had in years and of course watching the little ones open their presents!  I am excited to give my friends and family their gifts and hope they enjoy them as much as I did searching for them!  Happy Holidays 2013!!!!

Seven for Sunday

This year has been one of my best. I want to share with everyone what helped me get to where I am at today. Seven positive things for Sunday 🙂

1.  This book. One of the best recommendations and reads…….”Codependent No More”

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0894864025/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=37350709385&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14788329591072232648&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_8lqsnnokf3_b

This book was recommended to me by my therapist. It really made me see things in such a different aspect. It made me start to realize how much I hated myself and needed to change that and start loving myself.  I HIGHLY reccomend this book to anyone dealing with someone that struggles with addiction in their lives. For myself it is my father and my XH. I needed to break this path…..I am finally doing it!

2.  This woman.  My mom.  She is my inspiration. Her strength, courage, and big heart have made the world of difference to me.  She is ALWAYS there to listen to me and never judges ❤

3.  Yoga…..ahhhh what more can I say!  This has really taught me to love myself and my body and to stop abusing it like I have for so many years!  Also, side note, I am LOVING my new Jade mat! ❤  what a difference a great mat can make.  I have the purple      

4.  Therapy.   This has really helped me think clearly and has FINALLY made me WANT to do things for me! I am beginning to

finally figure out what I like, don’t like, enjoy, want, etc, etc, etc. Its fun finding “me”……I like her!  I owe so much to my amazing therapist Geannine Lebude. She has made me do something I had a hard time with…..honesty.  To myself and to others. She has taught  me many techniques to really begin to LOVE myself again, as well as given it to me strait and forward when I was being stubborn or unrealistic.  A few months ago, my mother began to see her, and WHAT a difference I see in her. She is much more confident and happy.  If you are looking to make YOUR life better and finally LOVE yourself, I highly recommend Geannine 🙂  Feel free to email me with any questions!  dpageteach00@hotmail.com

*  Also like her on Facebook! Each Monday morning I look forward to her thought provoking quotes, questions and comments!! Each week it is something helpful and insightful!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/G-Therapy-Geannine-M-LeBude-LCSW/198092863602639?sk=info

Today’s Thought

“Good Morning, today I want to discuss acknowledging our abundance. I was reading a story today about a king who was blessed. He had riches, wives, armies, and land. One day he decided he wanted another man’s wife and he took her without regard to her or her husband. The man whose wife he took was one of his solders. He was loyal and honored the king. All he had was his wife and his duty to the king. In the end the king had this man killed in order to not disgrace himself for taking a woman that was married to another. This story is sad to me on many levels. But, I feel extremely sad for the king. He had more than anyone in the land, but he was still not satisfied. He abused his authority to take what was not his.

Do you ever look at what everyone else has and want what they have and feel like you are living in lack? Do you live with the belief that you are blessed and fortunate or do you always feel you should have more? I challenge you today take an inventory of all you have and decide to be grateful and rest in feeling satisfied.

Believing the best for you,
Geannine”

5.  Girlfriends.

 Something I’ve never had because I always ended up being an enabler, I was too worried and had to “take care” of others that my relationships were non-existent.  I have different types of friendships now.  All are special in their own way.  There really is nothing better than some “girl therapy”

6.  Hot Dogs.  Well…….this one 🙂

Lily the Dachshund.

She has taught me unconditional love ❤

7.  My students.

I teach K-3 self contained in a MD classroom. I have the BEST job ever. I learn so much from my students every day.  They teach me patience, passion, and how to look at life in a different way…….Sure, it is stressful and challenging at times, but this is where my heart is, and it would never have been possible without the mark of my amazing brother,

Matthew.  He was my motivation and will continue to always be.

CoffeeChalk, what!?

I am in my 30s and starting to FINALLY live and enjoy life!  I enjoy a crazy mix of activities and have a true passion for teaching, children’s books, crafts, yoga, coffee, running, fashion , decorating and fun.  My problem is……..fitting it all in!  I am trying to find a healthy balance in life and continue to find myself because I am loving who I am!

My blog will focus on what makes up ME.  I used to be associated with health fitness and nutrition and after a recent relapse with my evil ED (eating disorder) I have decided to make a place for others in recovery to have a positive and “safe” place to read and remember that there is more to life than your next meal, restricting or weight.  In recovery I have had to decrease my exercise and increase my calories, which anyone knows can be difficult.  It is difficult to stay on track where there are so many natural triggers out there!  I know that in time I will be at a better place, but for now I want to surround myself with things, people and places that add to my life, not cause anxiety.

I have been a special education teacher (multiply disabled, self-contained) for the past six years. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE my job and my students, although it can be very overwhelming at times.  I can truly say that I enjoy waking up every morning and going to school (“work”)  I am excited to see my students and see what goals they will accomplish that day, no matter how big or small.  I love mixing real life and my own passions into my teaching to make it more interesting not only for myself, but for my students as well.  I love children’s books, crafts and most of all……love hearing what children have to say/share and how they think!

I also love to run.  Its my “me” time.  I run in the morning, before school…..early.  I love the darkness, the solitude and that occasional angry raccoon that chases me (Yes! several times in fact!) I am also a yogi and find its been an effective and natural stress reliever and made me realize just how much I really WAS abusing my body all these years!

About my ED.  I have struggled with an ED since I was about 15.  I try to think back how my mind felt then, because that’s all I want for myself now. To NOT have to think about food all the time, what to eat, what not to eat, whats good, whats bad, etc etc etc.  I want to give my body what it needs, when it needs it and let it naturally tell me what it needs and wants.  I have discovered many reasons for my ED.  Perfectionism is the main culprit, and never thinking I was good enough.  I have dealt with family addictions, two failed marriages to addicts and the passing of my amazing, inspirational and the REASON I am a special education teacher, my Brother, Matthew.  Matthew was autistic. He is the reason I do what I do and love what I do.  He never spoke but yet he “told” me and taught me so much.  He was probably the most amazing person I have ever met. His strength, courage and determination are my inspiration.  He was always happy, he did what he wanted, when he wanted.  I love that about him.  I miss him dearly everyday, but know he is looking out for me and smiling knowing that I would not be where I am today without him.

I plan on using my blog to talk about my ED recovery, my new love of life, friendships, mind and body, fashion, coffee (i LOVE coffeeeeeeee) and teaching!