Coffee Talk 1

Wilmington is the birthplace of Port city Java coffee shops.  Which now has 32 locations in north and South Carolina as well as Washington, D.C./Maryland

HERE is a bit more about Port City Java’s roasting process
I’ll admit that as a coffee lover I don’t abide or take pride in making the perfect cup (YET) maybe my reviews, tastings and learned knowledge will change that (I HOPE!)

I’m also an easy girl.

Ease of a Mr Coffee that is.

Or a quick stop what USED to be Wawa (sniff sniff) but now either Kangaroo or Starbucks (DD just does not do it for me and Starbucks truly is a last resort. )

Kangaroo’s carry Bean Street coffee, which is organic and by far a favorite of mine here in the slow south.

The only problem is, I hate coffee pot coffee venti much (haha).

something about it just sitting there……..god knows how long, turns me off

There is only ONE location near me that has the coffee in the large insulated dispensers instead of traditional old fashioned coffee pots, sort of like this (if you can see)

Kangaroo/Bean street also offers a variety of coffee add ons! Like whipped cream, flavor shots, etc. Pretty cool, although I prefer mine black or with a splash of nut milk (which I provide myself 🙂 )

So enough of my quick, go to, daily coffee and on with my REVIEW!

Today I visit

Port City Java

Wilmington,NC

 The coffee I tasted was made at the shop on 4th and , I had purchased a cup at a little vendor along the riverwalk 🙂

I ordered a tall arabica with a splash of milk (ew I hate milk!  I have switched to nut milks and really dislikes the flavor it gave it so I feel this review will not be completely  accurate 

Arabica coffee originated in Ethiopia and comprises a large number of varieties, which differ only because they grow in different soils at different altitudes, in different climates or because they are subject to different influences. Some of them are: typica, bourbon, java, Creole.
In general, arabica coffee bush grows at altitudes ranging from 800 to 2000 meters and its culture is grown in plantations. Arabica coffee produced from these plants, round caffeine levels from 1% to 1.5% or lower, which is a substantial difference robusta coffee, with levels of 3%.

I will rate my coffee experience on these 4 factors:

Aroma.  The fragrance produced by hot, freshly brewed coffee. Aroma, along with flavor, acidity, and body, is one of the principal categories used by professional tasters in cupping, or sensory evaluation of coffee.

Body.  The sensation of heaviness, richness, or thickness and associated texture when one tastes coffee. Body, along with flavor, acidity, and aroma, is one of the principal categories used by professional tasters cupping, or sensory evaluation of coffee.

Taste

Well…..that’s pretty easy 🙂

Finish.  The sensory experience of coffee just as it is swallowed (or, in the professional cupping procedure, just before it is spit out). Some coffees transform from first impression on the palate to finish; others stand pat.
**Additionally I am adding service, since I feel that is very imporant!

Port City Java: Arabica blend with a splash of milk

Service: 3 out of 5 “cups”

 The service was very friendly, but the staff was very un-informed. I asked several questions about the coffee beans, process, area it came from, only to receive blank stares. Don’t get me wrong, they were super nice and helpful, but I could tell they were just “kids” doing their job. I was going to trek over to their main location a few blocks away, but decided onward with my journey, since I was not too impressed with the brew
aroma

Body:

Very rich and medium heaviness. As mentioned above, difficult to rate due to the presence of milk

Taste:

Smooth, however disrupted with the abrupt creamy flavor from the addition of milk

Finish:

Sadly, this coffee left a harsh aftertaste. I am just not quite used to that and my long drive home to SC was not too pleasant. I had a “burnt” sensation in my mouth until I finally stopped for lunch

Overall I give the coffee 3 out of 5 “cups”

I will retry without the creamy addition

Plus a few more pics of BEAUTIFUL downtown Wilmington…………

what a view!

A quick stop by the riverfront farmers market

Talk about FRESH!!

 

What’s a brewin’ up NEXT?

This is something I’d like to delve deeper in and share with you
1. Does grinding your coffee first thing in the morning vs week old ground coffee really make a difference?

That will be first test 🙂

 

Weekend Update/Week Ahead

Today I am #grateful for mr quirky,dorky laugh.   There’s 

no one else quite like me! 

Just a note to myself as a new week begins …

   

  This weekend was pretty awesome. Friday night was pretty low key. I put my desk together  !

Do you prefer with the map or without? I’m still deciding! 

  

 I did the laundry and cleaned up a bit so that I could have a nice weekend.  It felt great to wake up to a nice fresh house and be able to do the other things I needed 
I took some time for me (and Lily) with a few walks, runs and beach walks  

 I dropped ofF some items to my classroom and quickly threw a few things together to create my “door” in preparation for open house 

In the past I would have put hours in to create the perfect door decor. This is something I let go ,which was hard , especially since all the other classroom are so beautifully and perfectly set up
The thing is? I don’t really know what I’ll be teaching or where.  I knew if I started setting things up it would pretty much end up getting changed once school began and I learned my schedule. So I chose to let it go. Ms perfect does not have the perfect door.  Get over it

   
  

   

Ok so I am really loving the pac man door and may be doing this……lol

Instead I am saving my energy so that I can focus on learning about my students and the teachers I’ll be working closely with.  

I am making smarter choices 🙂

And here is what my door pretty much looks like!  You ready for it???????

  
Saturday I also met a new friend for dinner at a lovely outdoor restaurant on the intercostal. The weather was perfect! My salmon was delicious and the company was excellent!

  
Sunday I went to church(yay me! Felt so good!)

Shopped at Krogers

Meal prepped for the week

Met my friend at the beach for a swim, walk and talk:)

And ended with some quality time with my cousin and the “boys”

We hit the pool ( they are like little fish! Such excellent swimmers) , fed the turtles  

And battled with the crazy SC spiders! Gahhhhhhhhhh

  

This was  probably one of the best  weekends for me stress wise. I was able to laugh, enjoy and live. Instead of being so work driven and focused.  I was able to let go a bit.  I felt the “old me” shining through at times.  I’m thankful for myself and the people that helped me smile 🙂
And I thought this photo was the perfect ending.  Sometimes we have ideas of how things should be. For me it was my classroom set up, for others it may be something simpler or more complex. This is the perfect reminder not to judge others be they are not what our “ideal” image is of the situation

 
I hope y’all had an awesome week ended!

Saturday Safes

Today I am #grateful for MY NEW LIFE here in SC. Finally opening doors! ❤ Thanks to all my family and friends

What a cute kitchen! I would worry I would tire of this quickly though!

What do you think? 
Is this DARLING or DARING?

My desk has arrived and I set it up last night!! (Will post pics later!?)

I am blogging from my new work space area and LOVING it!!  I just ordered my chair from Amazon!

Thanks to all the LOVELY ladies I used to work with for this purchase! They sent me off with a very generous amazon gift card! ❤ and miss them already!

Along with my new work space, I am coming up with some new rules. I want to spend less time online and more time DOING things. I had the tendency to spend a good amount of time sipping coffee in the morning before work and I will not have that luxury anymore. (UNless I wake up at 4 am)

I would much rather spend my time tidying up, going for a walk, spending time with Lily. The internet, email, technology can wait!

New life, new habits

My friend messaged me last night with the PERFECT article and thing for me….

4 Practical Ways for Women to recover from Everyday Life Exhaustion

I know I really needed this reminder. I am pretty sure a lot of YOU do too! ❤

This week was TOUGH. New faces, new places, new rules, new curriculum. I often times found myself in meetings just sitting back and absorbing it. letting it all sink in, because honestly, I sort of feel like an alien

I feel as if when others see me, THE above picture is what they see. I know that it is my own insecurity that makes me feel this way, because I do not have an accent, I do not know the curriculum, I do not know the “church” rules, I do not know the area very well, peoples names and faces, etc.

BUT in truth. I am just like everyone else. no one truly thinks I am weird, incompetent or an outcast, that is my own doing.

 

Back to feeling alien like. In a few meetings this week I really just sat back and observed. People would interrupt my “observations” with questions and I really felt so……unauthentic. I am sort of still in a daze and feel very insecure with my answers and beliefs. I am working on this and I know it will change and get better in time. I just do not want to loose focus of myself and all the hard work I have done, for fear of rejection.

 My beach reading this morning. 

 

Also making a little check list for myself 🙂

  
I  kinda loving living 5 min from the beach! I can get some work done with a beautiful back drop!

Ps

I  kinda freaking out bc I realize how much refreshing I need myself off new curriculum. I know i will be fine but it just shows me how different teaching life skills and md has been for me.  I loved it. Yet I know I will love this too. 
Now ….where is the hundreds bs hundredths place?   What is the prime factorization of 24?

Ugh smoking on the beach.  Sorry smokers but you are killing me 😦 it chokes me up and burns inu nostrils.  Not pleasant 😦

Help! I need to cover my tattoo for work! Unless I want to wear pants everyday.  Not in this heat!   I’ve seen some teachers wear bands, tape or bandages.  I want to find the least offensive cover while maintaining some class….is that possible?

Ugh WHY did I get this ugly thing?

  

Love these simple and practical ideas for overnight guestovernight guests..  They are perfect and not overwhelming at all!

Thankful Thursday

 

 

 

 “Today I am #grateful for my trip to Teachers Touch because it gave me time to get lost and find myself.”

Similar to Lakeshore back in NJ, this little teacher (and parent!) gem was greatly appreciated for many reason!

Teachers Touch & Parents Too not only eased my anxieties of being able to find what I need BUT more importantly it made me reach out to fellow coworkers and actually ASK them if there were any teacher stores…

After a long, overwhelming day, I was feeling a little down. I really wanted to go for a walk and get my “exercise” in , BUT I also wanted to go to this store, because I knew it would bother me if I didn’t check it out.

So my struggle began. Do I get some exercise, or do something else?

Well I decided to drive a ways to get to Teachers Touch and called my mom along the way to vent and let her know how disappointed I was in myself for just not being able to “do it all“.  I made the right decision for me in the moment, because that is what I wanted to do!

And guess what? After the stress of the day, on my way home, I decided to STILL get my walking time in. Yet it was a different decision. It was NOT forced. I actually wanted to do it, stress free!   I picked up Lily and off we went…………I felt no pressure, I gave myself no time line or goal (“I must walk so and so miles, sweat this much, etc) I just took her and went!

with each step the stress of the day melted away and I was ONCE again reminded of WHY I am doing this and WHY I am here ❤

I can NOT tell you how many times per day I get asked the question:
WHY did you want to move HERE?!

I am trying NOT to get upset and doubt myself when this question arises, because in a way, I feel like people think I am SILLY (aka stupid) for moving from the North to the good ol’ slow South.

Well, I do not need to defend myself or my decision. I decided to move for MANY reasons, not just one

• I need a change
• I need to be on my own so that I can truly LEARN and GROW
• I need a fresh start
• I need to slow down
• I need to focus on me
• I need to explore my likes/dislikes
• I need to be afraid
• I need to challenge myself
• I need to feel uncomfortable
• I need to have my toes in the sand

Here are just a FEW more reasons WHY 🙂

My walk last night…..(after work)

 

Always something to see on the beach

 

She LOVES it here

Ending my night like this

meeting new people

Wednesday Wants

I want

to admit and share how I have been feeling lately. This feeling is something I have been ashamed of and pushed aside for quite some time. Today I am finally accepting this feeling and hoping to move on from it.

I can NOT change the way I feel, yet it IS in my power to choose to overcome those uncomfortable feelings. I will let it set in, accept it, and continue to move forward…

I want….

I want to be taken “care” of.

Call it selfish, but that is my current feeling.

Let me explain.

For years I have been a people “pleaser”.

Aspects of doing things for others bring me the biggest joy and happiness,. There are MANY healthy ways to do things for others and feel fulfilled.  YET it is those OTHER unhealthy patterns that have brought me to where I am today, feeling exhausted and burnt out, and just wanting SOMEONE else to take care of me. The biggest unhealthy pattern ?  Pretending to be someone else, just to make others happy.

I want to give up, just for a little bit. It sounds so safe and comforting to just leave everything behind and have someone ELSE take full responsibility of me.  I would love a year or a few months with no responsibility , worry or fear. I want to feel SAFE.  I want to move back home, into my old bedroom, have mom make all my meals, pack my lunches, dress me……I want to be a kid again ❤

I can only make myself happy and that is a choice. It is extremely difficult, yet I know it is achievable.

I have taken care of the men I have been in relationships.  I have no resentment or blame. This was my own choosing. No one made me make the choices I made.I chose to focus on solving OTHERS problems rather than facing my own, which was much more difficult. Yet by tackling my OWN issues, I can finally find peace with myself and find and maintain healthy relationships. I have NO anger or hate towards any of my relationships. IN fact, I am grateful for them ALL because they brought me to where I am at today. It was my own believing that I could “change” them and make them happy.They NEVER asked me. I had tried to fix or change them or make them happy BY changing myself and doing things I was uncomfortable with . It didn’t work, all I did was burn myself out. It took me MANY years to truly understand that YOU can not make OTHERS happy ,only yourself. This always seemed so selfish to me. the words were there. I would say it to myself , but I never truly believed it. I still thought I was an exception. “I am special. I CAN and WILL make OTHERS happy”

I am not an exception.

• I have taken care of my brother and always acted like his BIG sister. This is not something I regret or am upset about. I really DID enjoy taking care of him. I even tried to play teacher with him from a very young age and help him work towards independence. I saw the potential in him, but often times I look back now and think he ENJOYED being taken care of and LET us do it 🙂 (who wouldn’t !) The unhealthy?  thinking I could make him “better”. Thinking if I worked hard enough, I could make him speak. If I could just spend a little MORE time with him, maybe I could make him more independent. These expectations were the result of ME.  I chose to believe and strive for all those things, in an unhealthy manner.  Instead of working on small goals, I wanted it ALL. The big picture. All or nothing.
• I have worked in the field of special education with many different students with many different abilities. From a 1-1 shadow aide, discrete trial administrator, substitute, teacher of severe and profound disabilities, and amazing students with social, emotional and learning differences. I LOVE my job and what I do, yet I realize how important having my students strive and attain independence really is. Yet it is so challenging and exhausting. It is a battle to do something uncomfortable for YOU. I know this first hand, so can relate with my students on MANY levels. Unhealthy:  beating myself up for not being able to make LIFE easier, better, less stressful for my students. 
  
• I have always worried about my parents growing up. I wanted to be perfect, hoping that would make them happy.  Yet it was too much to take on. Perfect grades, perfect appearance, perfect choices, perfect sports player, perfect church goer, perfect friend, perfect helper, perfect cleaner, perfect sister, perfect, perfect, perfect……..Well all those thoughts of perfection landed me with an eating disorder. Unhealthy:  My parents did NOT need my help. My parents only needed me to be their child. I was NOT responsible for making them happy. I was only responsible for the best for me.

WHY did I choose an eating disorder? It is clear now. I was overwhelmed with myself and my thoughts. I wanted to “give up”. I wanted to let someone else take care of ME. Thats why as scary as it was, when I went to an ED rehab when I was 16, I actually felt relieved. I felt SAFE there. People told me what to do, what to eat, what I needed to work on. It was all about ME.  I did not feel guilty because I KNEW I needed the help.

Feeling I deserve help makes it so much easier for me to ACCEPT help.

Yet , I began stating that I want to be taken care of, however I know that would NOT bring me happiness. The happiness is here, it is inside me. I am accepting and moving forward from all the uncomfortable feelings I am experiences.  I know I will be ok. I know I will never give up. I know I will smile more and more everyday 🙂

Classroom set up

So here it is! My new classroom! It’s HUGE.

I love it!  Plenty of space….just need to figure out what it will be used for

Today I just cleaned.  The tables were yuck and I wanted to make sure they were nice and fresh for my kiddos :). The classroom last year was a kindergarten room , so that explained the crayons, glue and other “stuff” set in to all tables and desks! My arms got a great scrubbing workout!

I decided to use a regular table for a desk.  I had our custodian raise it for me today :).   It will be perfect and less space for me to fill with “crap” ! Just like I left my big, bulky home office desk back in NJ. I have decided to leave behind the traditional desk in my classroom as well! 🙂

I plan on using the u shaped table there as my small group MATH table. The cabinets behind will store all my math stuff! Manipulatives, text books, teachers guides, games, etc.  Easy and convenient!

I also set up my computer area. The computers were all stacked together, covered in plastic bags. I had to go peak in the computer lab to see how they were supposed to be set up. You would laugh at how I initially had them……… I am searching for some posters to use and fun things to hang on my bare walls,  as well as deciding how I will label the areas of my classroom (signs , stickers, die cut letters?)

I plan on using this spot as my “sensory” area IF needed or for some arts crafts 🙂 I placed all my art supplies in the cabinets to the rightT (not pictured)

The cubbies pictured are currently filled with Kindergarten materials  which will be removed and moved to the K classes :). I’ll most likely store my reading books there!

Last but not least this U shaped table (Just like my Math small group area) will be my reading and writing space. The bookshelf will store my everyday materials and necessities

Sooooo if you have any visions for me please go ahead and suggest away! 🙂

 

I am really loving this file system set up!

I am totally doing this for my kiddos, plus it will keep me organized and on track!

Its basic and simple :

• parent contact
• Current IEP
• Progress monitoring

I love that it is all right THERE. I can grab what I need , when I need it! Tada!

I am so grateful for wonderful teachers that share their bright ideas! Thank you Mrs. H’s Resource Room!!!

 

Ten For Tuesday!

Today I am #grateful for my new job because it gives me the freedom to do challenge myself, grow and learn new things.

1.  Coffee

My family really set me up with my favorite coffee from NJ (Which I can not get here)

Wawa & Trader Joe’s (See my stash!?)

So I have been a bit grind happy and brewing away like there is no tomorrow.  A cup here, a cup there, I am now getting scared that my stash will quickly disappear!  I better find a back up here !

Did you know that you can request a trader joe’s in YOUR area?

Fill out the form here

I did it already……twice 🙂

My friend just text me her inspirational coffee bar which looks amazing!  I definitely need to spruce mine up a bit as well because, like her, I feel like something is “missing”. It will be one of my weekend/evening projects!

ps-  I NEVER use my keurig! Its pretty much only for company!

2.  yoga

well, here I go. Giving a new yoga class (Hatha) a try this morning before I get to work…..I have my fingers crossed it is nearly as good as my loves in NJ!  Debbie will NEVER be replaced, but I am hoping she has a twin here in SC!?  What, a girl can dream!

*Update*  It was OK. Definitely NOT Debbie ❤  She will have my yoga heart for eternity.

Hatha style was a bit familiar and a bit different. A lot of “down” time, which is much needed, but I wanted a little more of a challenge. It WAS good for me for today because the past few days have been a hot mess, so it felt really good to stretch out, and really force myself to be “present” and in the moment.

3.  My classroom

Its huge! (I will post pictures later)

this is pretty much what I did in my new classroom 🙂 I was a bit overwhelmed because I do NOT know where to begin…

I am finding out bits and pieces of my new position. It is scary going into something I have no clue about. Yet I feel confident that I will get the support I need because I work with a wonderful team of people! They are all so willing and helpful!

I am having a difficult time coming up with a game plan for my new classroom. I will be OUT of my room a lot (co-teaching) therefore unsure of what to really equip my room with. I just need to be patient and let things fall in place. It is JUST so hard when I see others working so hard on their rooms and I haven’t the slightest idea of where to begin.

It just feels like a lot of wasted, down time, which could be put to productive use, IF I had more information. Yet, this is something new for many, not just me, so I am trying to just go with the flow 🙂

This entire experience has taught me how GOOD I had it in NJ. I loved my job. I was confident in what I did, I felt comfortable. Yet I was becoming stagnant. I wanted/needed a challenge. I think this is the only way. Otherwise I fear I would settle and become a creature of habit and have a hard time trying new things or changing my ways. I have always wanted to learn about different types of classrooms and learning environments. As uncomfortable as change is for me, it is the only way I can continue to challenge and better myself ❤

TODAY I plan on wiping down and cleaning the tables and hunting down our custodian to make some changes and adjustments to some tables as well as remove the tables/chairs I do NOT need!

4.  South Carolina Drivers License!

The lines at the DMV in Myrtle Beach were RIDICULOUS! However it DID move, suprisingly. I did let a few hours waste away as I sat and waited (luckily they accepted all my documents! PHEW!) and its official. I have my South Carolina Drivers license! Next it will be registration time !  I still need to take care of some odds and ends before making the  switch!

I also took care of my rfi gate access! Yay!!

I really feel like a resident here!! No more guest passes, check ins , etc. I can now come and go in my secure community and have access to the beach cabana (with parking!)

Woop woop!

5.  Public Library

I love love LOVE the library here! It is super easy to use, maneuever and is quick access for me when I am out on the road and do not feel like driving back to my house.
They also have a great app called Hoopla, where I can access and download e books and audio books for FREE y’all!! I found a similar one in NJ (Overdrive) and am happy to have something similar here!

Since my home office is currently NON existent, and I do not have my technology set up yet at school (AKA my laptop) I wanted to make sure I did “work” outside of my house. I really am trying to separate it a bit, even though it is VERY difficult now because I seem to be focusing so much on work and making things fall into place. Regardless. I was able to sign up and register for all my courses over the next few days (we have 3 days of mandatory training, which we receive credits for towards our Professional Development hours)

6.  Puppy time

I will be honest. Lily has been a trooper during this move. She really is handling it all so well and LOVING it here. Last night, for the first time (ashamed to admit) I took her for a nice, long, walk.  She really loved it!  I think I exhausted her a bit 🙂

7. Friends

I am meeting up with a few friends tonight at Gorden Biersch 🙂

I need to force myself to get out a bit, bc I do not want to fall into the same routine of work, work, work, clean, clean, clean, etc

Its located at Market COmmons, which is one of my most favorite places here!

8. Desk

I finally bit the bullet and bought my desk. I drive myself NUTS going back and forth when making little decisions. It lingers and stays on my mind until I DO IT. SO I did it

I went basic. I want to keep my office (and life!) simple!

So excited for it to arrive!! NOTHING is in stock around here! With back to school and all!  I am forced to wait 🙂

9. Not so lonely

I have been keeping myself BUSY , avoiding the truth that my closest friends and family are over 500 miles away. YET this month, I am really looking forward to seeing my family!

I think Ill be seeing them a lot more than when I lived in NJ!

On Sunday my cousin and the “boys” arrive. We have already planned a Sunday Funday pool day! I can not wait!

On August 22nd my other cousins and their “girls” arrive for a week! I know I will be working a lot but I look forward to spending my evenings and weekends with them. Living it up in the pool, at the beach, fishing, or making our OWN bubbles in the hot tub (I kid, i kid!)

On August 25 my MAMA arrives!! OMG OMG OMG, I can not wait ❤ ❤

My aunt and uncle also plan on coming in September, so it looks like I am going to be JUST FINE!

I am so happy to have such amazing friends and family!

10.  Keep me in your thoughts and prayers and I will do the same for you!

I want good things to happen. I want good things to continue to happen for myself and everyone else.  I know life has ups and downs, but I think if we all remain positive, things will work out for the best

xoxo

Sunday Sads

Today I am #grateful for my beautiful clean and organized kitchen by @MamaChristine done with love, pride and care ❤

I am sad, but ONLY for today. Tomorrow I am promising myself I will no longer feel sad and start being happy and building my new life 🙂

Today I am sad mostly because my mom left to fly back home to NJ 😦  I really enjoyed having her selfishly all to myself. I kind of forgot she had to go back “home”.

So here is how I am going to find some happiness when I feel so alone ❤

ONE

Visit my school to see if I can set up my classroom a bit?

I am so nervous and at a loss. I have NEVER taught resource room and am anxious about how to set up, what I will embark on and how things are done here in SC. I am learning that things are so different and I am afraid of different and change.

So I am hoping to peek in on some co-workers rooms and get some ideas.

I DO know I want to keep it SIMPLE. That is what my motto is this year. Keep it simple.

I want to keep things simple for a few reasons. First, I will be teacher older students compared to my norm.  Second, simple is nice, neat and organized (That is what I am going for)  Third, less distraction for students (and me!)

TWO

Find a desk.

There is NOTHING in stock in white here in SC! THis weekend was tax free shopping for back to school supplies and such and the stores are depleted of a lot (PLUS crowded!)

The “jersey” in me is coming through. I WANT A DESK NOW!!!. I don’t want to wait and ORDER it! I Want to pick it up, put it in my car and have it now now NOW!

Ok, phew, glad I got that out.

So, after multiple stops to Target, walmart, home goods, tj max, etc, my WHITE desk search turned up ……….NADA

I am going to have to order online , which is ok 🙂  Now I can focus on other things………..

Like…….

THREE

The beach (today I went for about an hour, just to walk a bit)  It was high tide, so not the most pleasant, luckily I am not a beach “sitter” anyway, i like to move!

FOUR

The pool

this is the FIRST time I have actually taken a dip and swim in the pool. All the trips here, I have not ONCE stepped foot in it……I had not allowed myself to “relax” I was always pushing to get things done and accomplished. Today I forced myself to go for a swim……and you know what? It felt AMAZING. The water was refreshing. In fact, it was the perfect temperature!

I also read my book for a bit by the pool and observed other vacationers and other owners 🙂

I feel a bit less stressed and worried……

Your Turn

1. Do you live close or far from your family?
2. Have you ever taught resource room? Any tips for me!?
3. DO you prefer television or reading?

Bitter sweet

my adventure begins…………….

The past week has been an emotional one. Excitement. Nervous. Terrified. Scared. Anxious.  Happy.  Sad.

Many bouts of crying spells ( I felt like a2 year old in a 35 year old body)

Overwhelming feelings from all my friends and family that showed me how much they love , support and most of all want to see me happy a d to succeed

All this made me a mess…. But a beautiful mess 🙂

My cousin orchestrated my furniture to be packed. Plus he did so many maintenance tasks around my “old” condo. Things that I would have never thought of. My family threw me an amazing party. The last day of work was so difficult.

Only now are things settling in.

I am a South Carolina resident. A resident ! Not a vacationer. I am home

Wow

I have not felt “home” for a very long time. NJ was home, but my condo, did NOT feel like home, for many reasons. This time it is different. This is all my own…..well and my families doing  ❤

Me looking oh so excited (HAHAHAH) to drive a huge ass moving truck.

FYI. I rented from Budget. I would not recommend them.  I had reservations months in advance. ONly to pick up my 10 ft truck and find out none are available. Ok, so 12 ft truck! NOPE. not available either.  I was placed in a 16 ft truck. It was more intimadating than anything, but it made my trip very stressful. I was afraid my engine would blow (heard horror stories), lose the caddy (lol?) slip in the rain, run over something (or someone! JK)

Luckily  I had my mama follow right behind.  We were such a great team.  She navigated me the entire way. Whenever I needed to switch lanes, she ensured I was safe and set to go 🙂

I always knew she was a strong and an amazing woman but the past few days she surprised me beyond belief. MY MOM IS SUPERWOMAN.  She can not be real. I do not know HOW she does all she does, with energy, support, enthusiasm and genuine WANT. She has earned the most strong and beautiful hearted award in my life permanently. She never stopped once.  Driving.  Cleaning.  Unpacking. Carrying furniture, and MOST importantly …………. loving

Through her, I know I can have, do, be anything and everything I ever want

Here is a recap of my moving adventure  , Ill spare you the actual moving truck pictures and details, for they were NOT fun 🙂

After a hard few days of work, our bodies were craving some BURGERS!! This place is right on Rt 17, Burger Fi. It was fabulous!  Look at the bun! The branded it!! ❤

Getting things INSIDE was the easy part. Next it was unpacking and organizing……………Kitchen BEFORE (This made me want to curl in a ball and cry)

THEN, Super MAMA came to save the day. She busted her cute little behind for endless hours……..scrubbing, cleaning, organizing, sorting, making everything meticulous with LOVE and CARE.

After

We had to return the evil monster moving truck in Myrtle Beach on Saturday Morning. To celebrate, we stopped by the Polish Deli!

It has been here about 3 years and a very nice set up! They had a little area to eat inside and out. Fresh meals made, including hunters stew , perogies, kielbasa, plus other items……..

The order counter for your Polish yummies!

The polish deli counter 

We ordered some smoked kielbasa which we had for lunch and it was VERY VERY good! Smokey, drier, JUST like I like it ! Its sort of like beef jerky, which i love love love!

My mom also ordered a paczki I think she enjoyed it because it was there one moment…….then it was gone 🙂 nom nom.

We got home, ate a bit, THEN back to work!

We had intentions of visiting my school, the library, some local stores, shopping a bit , maybe a walk on the beach.  LOL Nope , it was after 6 when we did the final vacuum/sweep. We showered and headed out to Bonefish grill for some seafood!  It was close and I know that I enjoy their food as well as my mom! I had salmon, mom had grouper topped with lobster!

Here are a few more pictures of some little things around the house. Changes will be coming, but for now it is beginning to feel at home!

It sure is (Thank you TINA!)

My beachy, light, breezy, and comfy bedroom ❤

Old things (Book shelf) and New (my pup inspired beach sayings, thank you DENISE!)

I do NOT want to drop my mom off today at the airport. This is going to be my biggest challenge. I want her to stay here with me. I am going to miss her more than words can express. She is my best friend. YET I know this distance will be good for both of us. She can FINALLY do things for herself, without having to worry about ME.  She deserves to find her own happiness and do what she wants JUST for herself ❤  I am so proud of how far she has come. I can NOT wait until August 25th until I see her again! ❤

Wednesday Wants

The following describe how I am CURRENTLY feeling, I realize these feelings are uncomfortable BUT remind myself they are only temporary

I feel Blank:  that word describes my feeling quite accurately. I feel blank or empty. My brain is on overload it just wants to shut down. I am leaving in two days and instead of gearing up with excitement, I am worrying.

I look around at the world around me, and realize in perspective my issues are nothing.  People have so much hurt, pain, sadness, and here I am once again turning something positive into something dreadful. I NEED TO STOP, now!  It is just so hard to control those voices and feelings.

The worries are out of my control, yet I still can not seem to move past. Relying on others for help, is a big cause of my anxiety. I realize I can NOT do things alone, yet at the same time do not want to feel like a burden to others.

I just want to get to SC and sit down on my couch and just sleep. That is my true, honest current feeling

I have been fighting so much the past year, I am exhausted.

 

I have fought my hunger, and can no longer do it. I have given in, which is a WONDERFUL thing, yet it makes me feel like a failure. I was once able to control so much, I can no longer do it, nor do I want to. I miss that sense of “control” though

I have fought my tiredness. I still continue to push , push, push. In effect, I am exhausted and not really able to give my full attention to the task on hand. I want to be able to find a way to just relax. For me relaxation turns into falling asleep. I don’t WANT to fall asleep because then I will not get anything accomplished………yet I realize my body is tired an ineffective by constantly pushing it. I need to learn how to rest more, or better.

I’ve had to prove I am a great teacher that is willing to learn new things. From interviews to walking away from a place I love. I have fought with myself to be my real self instead of telling others what they may want to hear. This was my “old” ways.  Surprisingly by being me, brought me MANY good things and many offers. I was able to choose the job that was the best for me, instead of them choosing me.

Yet all of this is so very uncomfortable for me. I am content with things as they are.  I am just not sure that will ever be enough for me. I love a challenge, but fear I won’t be able to accomplish it and fail myself. Yet I can not allow my fear of the unknown stand in my way

 

I am almost there…..I can and WILL do this ❤