Weekly REPORT 4/25/24

READING

This cover caught my eye – and the description even more so (complex, often challenging dynamics of sisterhood and family relationships in a contemporary setting.)

Next up, Awaeke is such an amazing author. Both books I have read have stuck with me, for different reasons, but both are winners and ones I would recommend! For the story and characters read The Death of Vivek Oji, for the spice, scandal, and gorgeous tropical island description, read You Made a Fool of Death with your Beauty . I am so grateful this author was introduced to me by one of my book club girlies. She picked The Death of Vivek for one of our book clubs and I am forever thankful to her for introducing me!

His next release has a date of June 18, but you can trust that I will be pre-ordering this one immediately! (Done!) Another gorgeous cover (a dark, thrilling narrative that delves into the complexities of sexual violence and the consequences of violence in a Nigerian city setting.)

Another immediate preorder is Ambition Monster – A humbling novel that is very relatable. Someone that appears to have it all, the career, the husband, the child. Yet is still unhappy……

TWO unsettling but unputdownable reads for me this week include Confessions (read the triggers, please) and Bye, Baby (free on Kindle Unlimited!) Wow, both have broken me free of my book hangover (From Kristin Hannah’s latest, The Women)

EATING

Vegan mushroom recipes – Fitting 🙂
PLAYING

I am NOT play the new Taylor Swift album, don’t come at me, please 🙂

3 Body Problem (On Netflix) I am intrigued by this series based on the novel The Three Body Problem, a remembrance of Earth’s past but also a reflection on humanity’s future

Girl Time:

My friend and I had an adult play date over the weekend. We packed our bags and headed out to Kennett Square, PA. We had been contemplating a little readers retreat but timing and distance was a challenge, so we came across the adorable Bookhouse Hotel. It is a boutique hotel, which was a former book store. It has 4 rooms all similar yet different in their own unique way. It would be so much fun to rent out the entire place for a bookish girls weekend. Fill your time with books, talks, laughs, shopping, eating and drinking delicious concoctions.

Kennett square is the mushroom capital of of the WORLD because over half of all U.S. mushrooms come from this area. Who knew!! Every September there is a mushroom festival which brings foragers from all over to this quaint little town to explore and taste all things mushrooms. I will definitely be checking this out, as I love mushrooms and loved the area so much! I am also excited for the future possibilities. SO MUCH potential!

Back to our lovely hotel. It was just that. So lovely. As soon as you enter you are filled with inspiration to ……read. Books surround you, as well as smoked glass mirrors. Such a great vibe and set up! There was even a little table with benches and pillows, excellent for a book club or larger space to chat all things books. The front porch had some rocking chairs which would be fab in warmer weather to sit outside with a cocktail or coffee and people watch in the breeze.

We made our way up to our space and WOW, talk about book lovers dream!

We had so much fun exploring all of the great titles (that are to be left at the hotel BUT can be purchased, select your title(s) and they will be shipped to you). We also had an upstair sitting area that was cozy with a couch and MORE BOOKS. Excellent for talking and hanging out or a charcuterie set up 🙂 The bathroom was HUGE. Our room had a lovely claw foot tub, which looked too intricate and complicated for me to figure out (ha!).

There was a small kitchenette with mini fridge, keurig and many other amenities useful for a fun weekend (Yes wine glasses and corkscrew included).

Our suite had 2 bedrooms which were next to each other. The green room and the blue room.

The beds were SO comfortable, we actually ended up drinking of coffee and gabbing and laughing for hours the next morning.

I highly recommend staying for a fun bookish weekend, and of course if you’d like to explore nearby Longwood Gardens (which make sure you book in advance!!!). Also nearby are the Winterthur gardens and Museum, as well as Nemours estate and gardens. Neither of which we visited during our short stay, but I am doing things a bit backwards and doing my research now, so you dear readers can reap all the rewards!

The town is a very short walk (uphill) and just be advised the hotel is located at a busy intersection so be wary and cautious. There is an incredibly delicious and beautiful coffee shop filled with plants and snacks and of course excellent coffee called Philter. The staff were so kind and accommodating each time I visited during my short stay (Yes, I have a coffee problem). In fact, we found this throughout. Kindness! People actually wanted to talk. They were curious. They were open to suggestions and feedback! IT was so refreshing.

There are many great restaurants depending on your mood. We decided to have a drink (which turned into three) at Portabella. The bartender was so lovely (best hair EVER) and truly made delicious cocktails. She was so sweet and again, so informative. I had an old fashioned (Yum! Who am I?) and my friend ordered the Phoenix Rising (Pear Vodka, Lemon, Ginger, Turmeric, Cayenne, Agave). Did I mention how delicious they were?

The following day we decided to have a light lunch at The Market, which is a scaled down version of Reading Market terminal. We found Verde, a restaurant with vegan choices and we were both very happy! You could not go wrong with any of the choices inside! Highly recommend, the brewery inside looked intriguing and like a lot of fun as well!

We had a very short trip to Kennett square but it scratched our itch for a little getaway and some great belly laughs. I have high hopes for The Bookhouse Hotel and wish I lived closer so that I could join their book club!! Check out the website for more information AND please reach out if you have any questions or need recommendations!
OBSERVING

How to disappear – Oh yes, I would like to do this, often

RECOMMENDING

Gosh, I love her

Such a happy dress

These scrunchies would “fancy” up just about any outfit

She’s a dream, but not for my budget

What a pretty and clever idea for keeping your eye glasses safe and handy (great mothers day gift idea, too!)

Continuing my obsession with another bedside carafe (So pretty!)

Feminine white top

Love this pretty quilted tote

a pretty bedroom refresh with some scallop edged throw pillows and a royal night lamp? Wow, or this bow throw?

THINKING

Should I color analyze myself? Will you try it? Let me know what you get!

Why are you still single? Answer here

Thinking about…..How my time is spent

Ah, the sweet satisfaction of a truly productive day! For me, it’s a symphony of movement, meaningful work, and a sprinkle of indulgence for myself. I thrive on the rhythm of order and productivity, dancing through tasks with purpose. Conversely, nothing weighs heavier on my spirit than wasted time. Those moments filled with mindless distractions feel like a betrayal to my goals, sending my anxiety into overdrive and casting a shadow over my day. It’s not just a mental burden; it’s a physical sensation, like something gnawing at my insides, desperate to break free.

The word “trapped” echoes in my mind like a persistent drumbeat. Over the years, I’ve painstakingly dismantled the barriers I once imposed on myself, striving to fit into a mold shaped by others’ expectations. I carried the weight of guilt and selfishness for daring to prioritize my own happiness, fearing disappointment and rejection. Always putting others before myself, I found myself ensnared in a cycle of internal conflict and dissatisfaction.

I’ve lingered too long in relationships, convincing myself it was the right thing to do, hoping that one day, my feelings would miraculously align with expectations. But it was a facade, a self-deception that ultimately led to my own disillusionment. With each new beginning, I vowed to break free from old habits, only to find myself retracing familiar paths, haunted by unspoken thoughts and unfulfilled desires.

Yet, amidst the turmoil, I’ve gained clarity. I’ve learned to recognize the signs of self-imposed confinement more swiftly, refusing to inflict unnecessary pain upon myself any longer. While certain obligations remain beyond my control—like bills and schedules—I’ve redirected my focus towards the things I can influence. With each conscious effort to break free from the shackles of expectation, I feel lighter, more liberated.

I may not have reached the summit just yet, but I’m closer than ever before. The journey to self-discovery is ongoing, but with each step, I reclaim a piece of myself and forge a path towards authentic fulfillment.

Weekly R.E.P.O.R.T. April 17, 2024

READING

I can’t quite seem to get into anything substantial after reading Kristin Hannahs’, The Women. I am in such a sluggish book hangover and nothing feels interesting or right. I find my mind wandering while reading, which surely is not a great sign.

I typically am not a seeker of historical fiction, as I more naturally gravitate towards thrillers and scandal, but this one just has such a special place in my heart.

I have heard that The Frozen River gives off a similar vibe, maybe that will intrigue?

Speaking of books, this past weekend I went to the Whodunnit fest in the Hamptons, hoping to get some great tips from my favorite authors on writing and of course learn about some new books and authors. Wow, this fest did NOT disappoint. I am still in awe that I was sitting with and chatting with famous authors like it was a normal, everyday occurance. Many were so friendly and down to earth. I never would have guessed. Not to mention how brilliant and well spoken. I could listen to Ashley Winstead speak for hours, and the beauty in Jean Kwok’s intelligent insights. I loved hearing the dry sense of humor many authors had, as well as how sweet the darkest of thriller writers were! I did leave finding new inspiration for writing my own novel one day, and it was so refreshing to hear for many authors, this was their third, fourth, even fifth career! Truly an inspiration.

One author that stuck out to me with her humor and smart banter , was (new to me) author Yrsa Siguraordottir. She is hilarious! A Icelandic native, she was pleased to give us Americans credit for how great our language was, in particular our cursing! Ha! She said we are fantastic cursers :). Can’t argue that! She writes very dark and descriptive fiction, which can be difficult for some. After some research (she has many books) A great stand alone (she has many books and many series)was recommended to me called The Undesired, I will give this a try before getting into a series, to see if I enjoy the style and writing. I am beyond curious!

Of all the authors at the festival, Jennifer Hillier has been my most highly rated author. I gave ALL her books a 4.0 rating or better! Impressive! Creep and Jar of Hearts (Currently free on kindle unlimited) are my favorite (So far) of hers.

Another highly recommended back list book (Thank you Ashley Winstead) was “In the Cut”. The ratings and reviews are on the lower side, but I am still intrigued. The description that Ashley gave, SOLD ME on this, I will definitely be giving this a try! I mean, doesn’t this sound GOOD? Frannie Thorstin is a divorced English professor, living in a two room New York apartment. She spends much of her time alone, working on a book about dialects and idiomatic language. One evening at a bar, Frannie stumbles upon a man and a woman engaged in a sexual act. A week later a detective shows up at her door. The woman’s body has been discovered in the park across the street. What follows is a chilling tale of lust and murder as Frannie finds herself drawn to the detective. In the Cut is a masterpiece of literary suspense and sexual exploration.

My experience at the Hamptons Book festival was beyond my expectations. I will be seeking out and attending other festivals in the future!! Can’t wait!

I am not a YA fan, at all, so this book list with characters in their 40s, sounds intriguing

I just finished up with How to End a Love Story – This was a hit for most, so if you love a messy love story with some depth this may be for you! I just started and am enjoying a backlist’er ….Chemistry, loving the plot and characters so far~ a short coming of age novel!

I am currently partaking in some “mood reading”. I have about 3-4 books I am exploring, trying to see which will stick with me and my current mood. Will report back after a few chapters of each. Some fiction, some non-fiction!

EATING

Sweet Potato Fries – all of them!

PLAYING

Audio Book: Listening to “Chemistry”

Podcast: A new to me travel podcast : Just listened to this one about the National Parks (totally want to go to the Midwest to experience the wolves!), and this one about Austria will be up next 🙂

Sleeping to: perfection

OGLING

Just ordered these colorful New Balance sneaks~

Love this dress

A great instant camera to capture all your spring and summer fun

A great weekend bag

A perfect summer-y clutch (holds a phone!)

Oh, she’s pretty

It has been a while since I shared some fun (spring colored) pens! These are amazing!

How pretty are these vintage coupe glasses? Perfect for book club 🙂

Looks like lululemon but for a fraction of the price, tennis dress

Such a great pendant light

Adorable denim mini

A $25 dress that can be worn for many things, many ways

Going to give these athletic shorts a shot 🙂

A flirty sundress

Great price for a transitional crop boucle

The absolute CUTEST seersucker set

RECOMMENDING

This place looks like a dream!

The perfect measurements for the perfect dirty martini

Eyeing this pretty and delicate wireless bra (Because wires are so unnecessary! )

For all you gardeners out there wanting to protect your knees

Drink up, love muffin!

One UGLY trend (IMO)

Intuitive eating info (Great read) BUT it is NOT easy. A misconception is that this will just…..work. We have been conditioned for MANY, MANY years, so it may take quite some time to find a healthier mind frame and get yourself away from “Diet talk/think”. Food is fuel, it is meant to give us energy, joy, challenge our taste buds. There are NO “bad foods”. Some things to THINK about (From Skimm Well):

Ask what you’d say to your younger self. Whether that’s with feelings of judgment or shame, or about what to eat. If you were 5 years old, what would you need right now? A little treat? Something to fill you up?

Shift your focus from your weight to how you physically feel. As best as you can. It can help you make food choices that honor your body holistically.

Update who you follow on social media. Christensen recs Vinny Welsby and Jaimmy Koroma. Also, unfollow anyone who triggers you or claims that certain foods will make you look a certain way. (Also, just unfollow ANYONE that you don’t enjoy/grow from on social)

What a FUN date/friend night activity!

A great list that will make you think twice about drinking alcohol

While in the Hamptons this past weekend, I was intrigued by Block Island ( a tiny island off the coast of Rhode Island) Then I came across this article and home tour and JAW DROP!

THINKING

If you, like I, get triggered by certain things in movies (like animals dying, the WORST) you can access the triggers here before watching 🙂

Will you be watching “Ripley”?

This weekend marked my inaugural journey to the Hamptons and Montauk, and what an experience it was. Montauk, in particular, left me breathless. Its waters held a haunting allure, while the waves crashed with a terrifying intensity. It felt like stepping into the setting of a gripping psychological thriller. Sitting on the cliffs, overlooking the tumultuous ocean, I felt compelled to write, as though the very environment stirred deep emotions within me. Despite my affinity for tropical locales, there’s something about the coldness, the forcefulness, the eerie ambiance of Montauk that resonates with me. It feels like home, where anything and everything is possible, where survival is paramount. I yearn to return, to explore the vineyards, engage with locals, and immerse myself in the plethora of outdoor activities that felt almost dreamlike, from scenic hikes to biking trails. The beauty of the place is simply awe-inspiring.

During my stay, I opted for Montauk, a serene contrast to the bustling energy of East Hampton, where the festival was held. While my choice of hotel left much to be desired, being situated amidst a Murder Mystery event that permeated the atmosphere with its loud energy, I found solace in the tranquil surroundings. My room, though a tad outdated and musty, offered a decent respite at a great price. The balcony and grounds were stunning, and the inclusion of a kitchenette was a welcomed convenience for extended stays. However, the exorbitant prices, such as $4 for a water bottle, served as stark reminders of the luxury enclave that is the Hamptons.

Dining options at the onsite restaurant, Monte’s, proved limited for a vegan with dietary restrictions, exacerbated by the dominance of finger foods from the ongoing Murder Mystery event. The hotel bar, on the other hand, was a delightful retreat, albeit with steep prices. My experience with the cocktails, including a disappointing Old Fashioned, left much to be desired, compounded by the bartender’s reluctance to replace it without additional charges.

The check-out process proved to be an additional annoyance, with an unclear itemized bill and a less-than-hospitable reception from the desk attendant. Despite my full payment and lack of charges, I was met with eye rolls and condescension, culminating in a frustrating game of deciphering mystery charges. Ultimately, the $50 charge for returned remote controls was revealed, a task that seemed unnecessarily arduous.

In hindsight, while Montauk captivated me with its allure, my stay at Montauk Manor fell short of expectations. There’s room for improvement on both sides, and in my future visits, I’ll be seeking accommodations that align more closely with the excellence Montauk has to offer.

How to make a Travel Journal

Truly the BEST old fashioned was had at Serafina – they also had a great menu, I had spaghetti squash, the pizza also looked incredible

On Practicing

“While we naturally understand that writing is a good way to share ideas with others, we under-appreciate just how much good writing helps us think about an idea ourselves. Writing is not only a means of communication, it enables us to practice reasoning.” ~source

READING

This is brilliant – it summarizes books for you in 5 bullet points. Helping me weave out things I want to read vs. not read (this is all non-fiction)

Most talked about spring releases, YAY * BRB adding The Divorcees to my TBR as well as Exhibit, Oh, and Funny Story! I LOVE SPRING

A (New to me) author, Diana Clarke (she has the BEST name 😉 ) I am currently reading two of her books, one via audio, the other ebook  (Love my KINDLE )   

Thin Girls – read the triggers!  Heavy disordered eating talk, 5 years ago I don’t think I would be able to read this, but I am in a much healthier place today.  

Thin Girls is about twins, Rosie and Lily. One struggles with disordered eating, the other struggles with no self love and bad relationships.  As Rosie loses weight and becomes skeletal , Lily gains. Chapters are often introduced with their weights and ages, to see the decline. Again, this is NOT for those sensitive to disordered eating talk. I need to include there are very unhealthy (but point proving) tactics in here, that I myself partook in when I was in the height of my disorder, so please do not read if you are sensitive.  

This is a satirical yet realistic look into disordered eating and the effects society has on us, women especially.   The truest account of disordered eating I have read to date. A beautiful yet grotesque (and real) depiction of the struggles. A great read for anyone curious about learning more and also eye opening how much harder we need to fight to stop being seen as just bodies. A great reminder to STOP COMMENTING ON PEOPLES BODY AND APPEARANCE. JUST STOP!!!  It is not comforting or complimentary, it is only reaffirming the need for beauty and thinness in our culture. Great book club read and discussion. 

The Hop – A look into the sex work industry, major Playboy Mansion vibes as well

The Women.  Definitely the best book of the year for me.  Going to be difficult to top this one.   Kristin Hannah has done it again.  By far my favorite of hers too.  This came recommended by two friends of mine.  I was hesitant because it seemed ……boring.  Boy was I wrong.  This led me to do my own research on the horrors of Vietnam.  It was so interesting to explore officers clubs , orphaned children, love children, the women, etc.  highly recommend to everyone and anyone (this has a 4.8 rating on goodreads, the HIGHEST rating I have EVER seen, but can fully agree)

After reading The Women, and listening to many interviews and podcasts with Hannah, I went back list with Kristin Hannah to see if her younger writing was just as good.  I am about halfway through Wild (Magic Hour) and will report back once I finish . She recently rated HER top choices, and I have read all but this one, so I am going to see…..so far, The Women has me in a book hangover, and this is not doing it for me!

So many new great releases are coming in April.  Where do I begin? 

Want to read: The Sicilian Inheritance (a Philadelphia chef, a sicilian adventure, amazing food description, a mystery, two time lines….SOLD)

THINKING

Trigger Warning: This post discusses disordered eating and exercise habits.

Every sunrise summons me to movement. It’s as if my soul craves the dance of life, beckoning me to walk, to yoga, to bike—to anything that will keep me in motion. It’s not just a habit; it’s a lifeline, a refuge from the stillness that threatens to engulf me. I steer clear of idle moments, for they breed shadows of depression and anxiety within me. Yet, I guard this sacred bond with movement closely, keeping it veiled from prying eyes. The thought of venturing into conversations laden with calorie counts and fitness feats sends shivers down my spine. So, I keep my love affair with motion tucked away, shielded from the expectations of the world.

Despite my devotion to movement, there’s a shadow that looms over me—a burden of guilt that weighs me down whenever I dare to deviate from my rigid routine. If I find myself doing less rather than more, it’s as though I’ve failed some unspoken test, plunging me into a storm of self-doubt and despair. It’s a relentless cycle, a tempest that rages within me, leaving me battered and bruised.

I find myself tiptoeing around food, my eating patterns dictated by a fear of indulgence. The mere thought of surrendering to a craving fills me with dread, as if one misstep could send me spiraling into a bottomless pit of guilt and shame. How I yearn to savor the simple pleasure of a beloved salty pretzel without the weight of judgment crushing my spirit.

But what am I truly afraid of? Is it the fear of gaining weight, of losing control? Perhaps. But beneath the surface lies a deeper fear—a fear of being unworthy, of not measuring up to some elusive standard of perfection. It’s a fear born from a lifetime of seeking validation, of yearning for approval from others.

Perhaps it stems from childhood, where praise was scarce, and criticism abundant. I was never exceptional at anything, or so I believed. Every word spoken to me was etched into my soul, shaping the narrative of my existence. And so, I learned to wear a mask, to hide behind a facade of strength and control.

But behind that mask lies a fractured soul—a soul that longs to be seen, to be heard, to be loved unconditionally. It’s a soul that’s been scarred by the relentless pursuit of perfection, by the never-ending quest for validation.

Letting go of that pursuit is the hardest battle I’ve ever fought. It’s a battle against the demons that lurk within, the demons that whisper lies of inadequacy and worthlessness. But with each passing day, I grow stronger, more resilient in my resolve to reclaim my sense of self-worth.

I’m learning to silence the voices of doubt, to embrace my imperfections, to love myself unconditionally. It’s a journey filled with twists and turns, with moments of triumph and moments of defeat. But through it all, I’m discovering the power of self-acceptance, of embracing my flaws and owning my truth.

And so, I invite you to join me on this journey—to embrace your imperfections, to love yourself fiercely, and to reclaim your sense of worth. For in the end, it’s not our flaws that define us, but our courage to embrace them.

WANTING

This weighted neck heating pad looks amazing (Rod, perhaps you will try too?)

This telephone water bottle is PERFECT for a special little in your life

Love this feminine and flirty top

Great (designer looking) tote

Beam pink adidas? Yes, Please!

Love this bag, designer brands for under $60 (I am on a kindle friendly bag hunt)

Eyeing this off white shoulder bag/crossbody, she is so soft!

Just ordered, to lounge around in

She’s cute!

Checkered comforter or smaller checks 🙂

Quilted floral jacket

Kindle/iPad remote page turner

Best Lactic Acid

SHARING

Bookmarking this Dry Martini recipe, because that’s how I like it 🙂

Do you have a tenured friend/friends?

I always wanted LONG hair, let’s celebrate!

This! Describes me feelings exactly.  Sunshine guilt is a real thing.  As much as I love the outdoors, and getting outside, my body and brain need it and crave it, I do love an occasional day spent indoors, but this is nearly impossible when the sun is shining, and the weather is beautiful.

VOMIT

Did you know that you can layer emoji’s?

Everything you need to know about the upcoming solar eclipse

Love this from Jen! I’m following suit.  Copy and paste for yourself (and share with me !).  My answers will be below

A good outfit begins with…

The most difficult paycheck you ever earned.

The first job each morning:

Explain your job to a five year old.

Something that surprised you recently.

Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.

The band you’d want playing at your funeral.

What are you kind of snobby about?

Talking pets or talking babies?

If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?

MY TURN!

A good outfit begins with…comfort, your color, and ease 

The most difficult paycheck you ever earned:  Teaching, by far

The first job each morning: coffee.  Always 

Explain your job to a five year old.   I work with small humans and try to get them to love learning, whilst repeating myself several times per day, losing my voice and constantly saying “Keep your hands (and all body parts) to yourself” 

Something that surprised you recently. Princess Kate news. (Heartbroken) and how much I lived Kristin Hannah’s newest novel, The Women 

Something you wish you’d learned a long time ago.  It’s ok to disappoint people 

The band you’d want playing at your funeral.  Just have a dance party for me y’all! I hate dancing and I will not be around to feel obligated to join in 🙂

What are you kind of snobby about?  Coffee.  Martinis.  Smells..  

Talking pets or talking babies? I think pets, would love to hear their thoughts!

If you had to rename yourself, what would you choose?   Currently, Gemma, would go great with my last name 🙂

“Boundaries aren’t agreements you make with others, they’re agreements you make with yourself. You aren’t betraying or abandoning anyone by setting a boundary, you’re opting not to betray and abandon yourself. When you choose to respect your boundaries, you’re choosing the path that you’ve decided is the healthiest and best one for you.”

—Cheryl Strayed

All Great and Precious Things

Are Lonely ~ John Steinbeck

READING

Fill this out if you are interested in learning more/joining a silent book club!

Two Nights in Lisbon  (free on kindle unlimited)- finished this within two days. The exotic setting, the fast pace mystery. Definitely tense but very interesting! 

Leaving  (under $10 on kindle)- I don’t even know where to begin with this book. First, read the triggers. This IS about infidelity, as the title suggests.  It is harrowing. It is uncomfortable. It is confusing, it brings up SO many thoughts and feelings, yet I can’t put it down.  

Out on a Limb  ($3.99 on kindle)- Winnifred “Win” McNulty has always been wildly independent. Not one to be coddled for her limb difference, Win has spent most of her life trying to prove that she can do it all on her own. And, with some minor adjustments, she’s done just fine. That is until she has a one-night stand with the incredibly charming Bo, a perfect stranger. And that one night changes everything. While Bo is surprisingly elated to step upto the plate, Win finds herself unsure of whether she can handle this new challenge on her own or if she’ll need a helping hand. Together, Win and Bo decide to get to know one another as friends and nothing more. But, as they both should know by now, life rarely goes according to plan. 

Content Warnings:

-graphic sexual content, pregnancy and symptoms of pregnancy, brief discussion of abortion (pro-choice stance, not performed), ableism in reference to a limb difference, verbally abusive ex-partner (no reappearance), death of a parent (past, off page) depression and suicide (past, off page), cancer (past, not reoccurring), amputation (referenced, past)

Two Nights in Lisbon (free on kindle unlimited) – What a fun, quick, and tense read!  I really enjoyed the Lisbon references (although I would have loved more descriptive setting details) but a great quick read involving a strong female character with the mystery created right from the start!

Listen for the Lie ( I am definitely doing this on audio!!) A thrilling mystery centered around a true crime podcast investigation of a small-town murder.

SHARING

Dabbling with Whiskey? Here are some bartenders recommendations for the newbies 

Spring cocktail recipes

Speaking of cocktails, here is how to PERFECT yours

What a GENIUS idea for hosting your next cocktail party! Wow

This home is stunning

WANTING

* I would really love to see and/or hear  about any purchases you make (or wish you could make)  through my recommendations! I love to see what others like

Shorts!  Cute shorts, bloomer style,and obv adore these, 

These nameplate necklaces are adorable for yourself or a teen in your life (love that you can customize the script)

Love this silk robe, would be perfection after an “everything” shower

I love these timeless earrings!! She has great items on her site!  I am a fan!

She is gorgeous

This (amazon) dress is amazing! This one, too!

Great little crossbody

Another great “tea party” dress

Just got this and this skirt with this crop top,  love each equally and I can definitely mix and match the pieces

Two reasonably priced (and kindle friendly) handbags I am eyeing:  One and Two

A true flower I will not kill, only build and nurture 🙂 

I swear by this hydrating yet light facial moisturizer, just order some more as I am out!

These spring-y New Balance sneaks, in moss

My type of (ruffle collar) dress

THINKING

Loneliness IS at epidemic levels. – Loneliness is reaching epidemic levels, yet discussing it remains challenging. Regardless of one’s relationship status, loneliness persists as a significant issue. When broaching this topic, the typical response often feels dismissive, like the cliché “You are never alone; you are your own best friend.”

This sort of advice does little to address the profound impact of loneliness. Loneliness isn’t just a state of being alone; it’s a profound emotional experience. Two individuals facing identical circumstances may feel vastly different emotions—one might feel content, while the other is consumed by loneliness.

At times, the sense of emptiness is overwhelming. Engaging in activities like volunteering, joining groups, or reconnecting with old friends can be suggested remedies, but they often fall short of resolving the deep-seated feeling of loneliness.

The crux of the issue lies in the absence of meaningful connections and intimacy. It’s about having someone genuinely interested in your day, emotions, passions, and concerns—not just yourself. While self-care and self-compassion are crucial, genuine intimacy often requires external connections, devoid of a strictly sexual connotation, which can be challenging, especially for women.

The quest for intimacy and connection is ongoing. Even on days when solitude is cherished, the desire for meaningful interactions persists. Engaging in solitary pursuits like reading, reflecting, and creativity is fulfilling, but the reciprocity of genuine human connection remains irreplaceable.

Building a circle of close friends who offer the desired intimacy is valuable, yet it’s unrealistic to expect a single person to fulfill all intimacy needs. However, navigating this journey requires openness and vulnerability, qualities often stigmatized, particularly for single, childless women content with their status.

Having the freedom to contemplate these complexities is a privilege, contrasting with the busy routines of family life or other obligations. However, this freedom comes from past struggles and growth, highlighting the importance of self-acceptance and personal evolution.

Life isn’t binary; moments of contentment coexist with moments of loneliness, regardless of circumstances. Acknowledging and navigating these nuances is essential to fostering genuine connections and combating the pervasive impact of loneliness in modern society.

VOMIT

So excited for some sunshine and warmth next week as I head to SC to visit my mom !  I am hoping to get in a few bike rides and beach walks to my favorite beach location. Maybe even do some flower shopping in honor of my dad and plant some beautiful things for him and us.

Again, the idea of WATCHING a movie, series, documentary sounds so appealing and soothing to me, yet I struggle to actually do it.  Yet I continue to compile lists of things I WANT TO WATCH, (Sigh) How do people have TIME for watching? Genuinely curious!

There is nothing better than a rainy day and a few good books

I Read Books in (Philly/South Jersey) Bars

Picture this: you’re cozied up in a plush armchair, a tantalizing cocktail in one hand and a captivating book in the other. The ambiance is as smooth as the whiskey, and the only thing louder than your thoughts is the gentle clinking of ice cubes. Welcome to the world of bookworms who’ve discovered the secret to multitasking – sipping, flipping pages, and occasionally spilling secrets over a well-worn novel. If you’re in search of the perfect blend of literature and libations, join me as we embark on a tipsy tale through some of the best bars and lounges where books are not just for show, but an essential part of the intoxicating experience.

On a balmy afternoon not too long ago, I gathered my Kindle, earbuds, and trusty notebook for a jaunt to Philadelphia, the famed city of brotherly love. As I hopped onto the train, I found it peppered with energetic young students who seemed to have kicked off their festivities surprisingly early (it was barely 3 pm!). My inner grumpiness toyed with the idea of shouting “SHUT UP!” but the prospect of facing off against a rowdy pack of (undoubtedly strong) college students quickly quashed that notion.

I redirected my focus inward, mapping out a strategy for embarking on an exploration of Philadelphia’s dark and dramatic bars and lounges – those ideal havens for immersing oneself in a good book while savoring delectable cocktails.

Here is what I found and can recommend , also, I would like to note, these recommendations fall on the “earlier” side (think 5 pm happy hour/cocktail and a book), I can’t guarantee the solitude at say, 10 pm!  Choose your reading times wisely!:

The LIbrary Bar

 Sunday-Thursday — 5:00 pm-11:00 pm

Friday-Saturday — 5:00 pm-12:30 am 

This is located within the elegant Rittenhouse hotel. This is a dream. It is small, encased by books, with lovely bartenders. The lovely bartender on staff offered me some suggestions, a tour, and a bottle of water.  He has worked there for over 9 years and his favorite drink to make and drink is The Old Fashioned. A book in one hand, an old fashioned in the other. What more can you ask for?   This spot is small, quiet, and cozy as well. *Insider tip – Sometime in April, there will be a special event and cocktails involving….tea’s 🙂  You can bet I will be there!

The Wayward

Open daily 11:30 am – 12:00 am

this is a gem in the city! A friend recommended, and I have now visited several times. Great, flexible seating, wonderful people watching, and clearly perfect reading space (and energy)  Tip – the bathrooms are located downstairs and are unisex 

Wildfether Distilling (Haddonfield, NJ)

Wednesday 5-10. Thursday 5-10. Friday 4-11. Saturday 12-11. Sunday 12-8

This is a hot spot located in the quaint Haddonfield, NJ. Just a short Patco ride over from Philadelphia.  Cozy yourself up as there is an upstairs and a downstairs. Aperfect spot for a cocktail and a book!

Parc  

Monday – Thursday: 8am-11am (breakfast); 11am-3pm (lunch); 3-5pm (mid-day); 5-10pm (dinner)

Friday: 8am-11am (breakfast); 11am-3pm (lunch); 3-5pm (mid-day); 5-11pm (dinner)

Saturday: 10am-3pm (brunch); 3-5pm (mid-day); 5-11pm (dinner)

Sunday: 10am-3pm (brunch); 3-5pm (mid-day); 5-10pm (dinner)

If you can grab a spot on a sunny/warm day, I suggest an outdoor table at The Parc.  Not only is this the perfect spot to read, sip and eat, you can also do some great people watching!

Estia Taverna (Marlton, NJ)

Sunday – Thursday: 3pm – Last Seating 8:30pm

Friday & Saturday: 3pm – Last Seating 9:30pm

On a recent Sunday early evening, I cozied myself up to the bar here, along with my kindle and my lap top. The open air breeze blew in and made this true, uninterrupted joy.  Highly recommended for a quiet spot perfect for your latest novel 

Writers Block Rehab – grab a drink and bring your book to this aesthetically appealing wood-paneled library themed bar, with life size scrabble board. The menus are …..books. Gasp!

The Commons Lounge (Inside the Logan) – stylish and inviting, cozy yourself right up with a great novel and a great cocktail. 

**I Will be periodically updating as I come across new locations 🙂

On Appetite

READING

Just loaded this new thriller (it is an Amazon March first reads pick) to my new kindle (squeal). To be honest, I am reading this for the setting. Take me to Napa, please!

Things I have read this week (or am almost finished reading) 

Piglet – an eerie and introspective look into a modern woman’s appetite for life, food , and her ambitions.Overall, “Piglet” is a hauntingly real exploration of women’s desires and dilemmas, wrapped in a captivating story that resonates on multiple levels. It’s a book that invites readers to reflect on their own aspirations and the societal forces that shape them—a literary gem that leaves a lasting impression.

First Lie Wins – characters navigating complex relationships and secrets while maintaining a precarious balance between their past and present identities.

The New Couple in 5B -gripping and suspenseful mystery that explores the darker side of human nature, with a touch of paranormal elements and a fast-paced, thrilling plot.

The Comeback: A thought-provoking story about a young woman overcoming trauma and sexual abuse in the challenging world of Hollywood, while reclaiming her power and voice in the #MeToo era.

Good Material – A FIVE star read for me! I absolutely adored this!! A bit of humor and a bit of reality. This novel follows a break up from the man’s perspective. So good!!

 
THINKING

I recently delved into the world of “Piglet,” a novel that cunningly delves into the modern woman’s appetite and ambitions, both literally and figuratively. What started as a rollercoaster of emotions, veering from anger to heartache, finally unraveled into a realization that echoed the experiences of many women, including myself.

From a young age, we’re fed a diet of so-called truths and beliefs, swallowing them whole in search of acceptance and love. But what happens when those beliefs turn into shackles, binding us to false narratives and limiting our self-expression?

Like many, I was no stranger to bullying and shame, experiences that etched themselves deeply into my being. The echoes of derogatory words and hurtful actions followed me, shaping how I viewed myself and others. I watched my mother endure similar treatment, developing a resilience that I, too, adopted as a survival mechanism.

But resilience shouldn’t mean conformity or self-erasure. It shouldn’t translate to conditional love or acceptance, where we’re only valued when we fit into predetermined molds. It took me years to realize that love shouldn’t come with strings attached, nor should acceptance be contingent on conformity.

Now, I’m on a journey of undoing and unraveling. I’m reclaiming my appetites, from culinary delights to unapologetic passions, free from the constraints of societal expectations. I refuse to be a caricature of who others want me to be, opting instead to authentically embrace every facet of myself.

So here’s to rewriting our stories, challenging the myths that have confined us, and embracing our truest selves—cheekiness, appetites, ambitions, and all. Because in the end, the most revolutionary act is daring to be unapologetically, unabashedly you.

WANTING

Really wanting to try this plumping, smoothing, healing lip balm, has anyone tried it? 

these raffia bow mules (SQUEAL) are so adorable for spring/summer

Adorable little night table lamp

This pajama set looks dreamy

LOVE this simple mini, so much

Just ordered another set of these incredible pillows for my guest bed

Casual, baggy, work pants

Another comfy summer set option

Such a great alternative to candy for the easter basket, any little would love this water bottle design kit

Cute classy sunglasses 🙂 

Such a pretty spring/summer party dress

Wanting to try the latest “blush”ing trend (hahah) Apparently this blush is perfection, achieving the look of “just running up the stairs” or “Being kissed for the first time”  

Excellent, oversized sweatshirt for lounging (and reading)

BRILLIANT idea – clean/dirty dishwasher magnet!

A great straw tote at a great price

Pretty lace flats

Loving this set, looks like great quality too!

Love these jeans

Remote control page turner for Kindle (or iPad) 

BEDROOM REFRESH

Scalloped edges

Lightweight coolness

Pretty botanicals

Pink carafe for the bedside (under $20)

Stunning (but sold out) artwork

Not bedroom, but bath, I ADORE this scallop edged shower curtain, this one is adorable and more affordable, too

This bar cabinet is STUNNING

SHARING

Road trip to visit some of the best cocktail bars in the US (of course Ill bring along my book, since Diana J (I read books in bars)

This MASSIVE list of podcast recommendations! This will keep you informed and entertained for months!

I could stay in a hidden library in St. Paul’s Cathedral. Sold!

Bookmarking this for the next “First Date” I go on 🙂

VOMIT

So excited to be working on a local (Philly/South jersey) “I Read Books In Bars” piece! I am exploring, and interviewing various locations to see if they would make a great reading spot , along with a great cocktail 🙂  I am having so much fun

Also in the works in a Best Bar/Lounges in the US to read a book at !  I have reached out to many people all over the US to carefully curate the BEST guide for all you bibliophiles/cocktail lovers like myself

On Sweeping Me Off My Feet

READING

If you haven’t read The Idea of You (read for free on kindle unlimited), yet, please go read it, it is spicy for sure, then you will be ready to watch the newest book to screen adaptation , trailer here

This was a really great reading week!  I ended up scooping up a great deal on the discontinued Kindle Oasis (it has side buttons to flip pages – GASP!) I struck an excellent deal, unfortunately it is gone, but if you are in the market, the Paperwhite is the best way to go, you will love it! And the best part will be shopping for a fun cover that exudes YOU. (See below for my recommendations)

The Stillwater Girls (free on kindle unlimited includes whispernet – which is audio) so you can hybrid read (my fave way to read)   

Good Material – I am loving this clever little novel telling the story of a break up from the mans perspective. Feels spot on and hilarious and has me shaking my head right along with it!!

Fault Lines (free on kindle unlimited)- Wow, what a happy surprise this backlist find has been! I absolutely adore this captivating novel about a Japanese housewife in an unfulfilling marriage and feeling lost in motherhood, when she rediscovers herself and her passions…..read the triggers (infidelity, etc)

A Court of Thorns and Roses – I just started this, not sure if I will persist, so far I am really enjoying it, but it is LONG, and I can only do “fantasy” for so long, it is so widely discussed and beloved, I had to give it a try

The Comeback

Grace Turner was one movie away from Hollywood’s A-List. So no one understood why, at the height of her career and on the eve of her first Golden Globe nomination, she disappeared.

Now, one year later, Grace is back in Los Angeles and determined to reclaim her life on her own terms.So when Grace is asked to present a lifetime achievement award to director Able Yorke–the man who controlled her every move for eight years–she knows there’s only one way she’ll be free of the secret that’s already taken so much from her.

This new release (March 19) sounds so good, Annie Bot,

Annie Bot was created to be the perfect girlfriend for her human owner Doug. Designed to satisfy his emotional and physical needs, she has dinner ready for him every night, wears the pert outfits he orders for her, and adjusts her libido to suit his moods. True, she’s not the greatest at keeping Doug’s place spotless, but she’s trying to please him. She’s trying hard.

She’s learning, too.

Doug says he loves that Annie’s AI makes her seem more like a real woman, so Annie explores human traits such as curiosity, secrecy, and longing. But becoming more human also means becoming less perfect, and as Annie’s relationship with Doug grows more intricate and difficult, she starts to wonder: Does Doug really desire what he says he wants? And in such an impossible paradox, what does Annie owe herself?

THINKING

The question I am most often asked……“Why are you single?”. Here are my thoughts:

Because I am……

Holding Out for a Hero ~ Bonnie Tyler

Where have all the good men gone

And where are all the gods?

Where’s the streetwise Hercules

To fight the rising odds?

Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed

Late at night, I toss and I turn

And I dream of what I need

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night

He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast

And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light

He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon

And he’s gotta be larger than life

Larger than life

Somewhere after midnight

In my wildest fantasy

Somewhere, just beyond my reach

There’s someone reaching back for me

Racing on the thunder

And rising with the heat

It’s gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet, yeah

I need a hero

Answer:  I am single because I simply, CHOOSE TO BE

After traversing the tumultuous landscape of relationships, I’ve chosen to prioritize my own well-being. It’s been a journey marked by profound self-discovery and growth, punctuated by moments of introspection and revelation. Through it all, I’ve come to understand the intrinsic value of self-love and self-respect – essential pillars upon which true happiness is built. Hence, here I stand, unattached yet brimming with a newfound sense of empowerment. Yes, the paradox of being single and content is indeed real.

As the sands of time have shifted, so too have my perceptions of gender dynamics. What once seemed like a homogenous landscape has revealed itself to be a tapestry woven with intricacies and nuances. My ideals and aspirations have evolved dramatically over the years. Gone are the days of conforming to societal norms dictating the pursuit of a conventional life – the proverbial white picket fence, obedient children, and a successful spouse. Instead, I’ve embraced the liberating truth of female resilience and capability. We are architects of our own destiny, imbued with strength, determination, and boundless potential.

In seeking a partner, my compass points towards equilibrium – a harmonious blend of trust, communication, and reciprocity. While cognizant of the imperfections inherent in any relationship, I remain steadfast in my belief that mutual effort and understanding can surmount any obstacle. Yet, amidst the vast expanse of potential suitors, I find myself grappling with the scarcity of individuals who embody these ideals in their entirety.

Nevertheless, a flicker of hope persists within me. Somewhere, amidst the cosmic chaos, exists a kindred spirit – a soul capable of embracing my essence, flaws and all, with unwavering acceptance and love. Reflecting on past dalliances, I am struck by a profound sense of resolution. No longer shall I acquiesce to mediocrity or compromise my worth for the sake of companionship. My standards are elevated, my resolve unyielding.

For I’ve discovered that true contentment stems not from external validation, but from an intrinsic sense of fulfillment derived from self-reliance and autonomy. While the prospect of a supportive partner remains enticing, I refuse to settle for anything less than genuine affection and respect. I am a proponent of growth, exploration, and intellectual stimulation, seeking a companion who shares these values and complements my journey.

In essence, I yearn for a partnership characterized by mutual trust, respect, and intellectual synergy – a bond that transcends the mundane and propels us towards collective growth and fulfillment. Until such a union manifests, I find solace in the pursuit of self-discovery and the cultivation of my own passions and pursuits.

So yes, “It’s gonna take a superman to sweep me off my feet”

WANTING

I am super excited to visit my mama during spring break. I am hoping the weather lives up to my hopes (sunshine, warmth) This is inspiring me to freshen up my wardrobe with some fun new pieces to flaunt around SC 😉 

Such a cute summer set! Almost identical here

love this , for this season and next winter!

Oh! I think I need these (perfect for my upcoming reading retreat?!) Or maybe this instead?

Gah! I love this mini

cute ‘kini for the summer 🙂

she is so pretty

Oh la la, these gold heels are STUNNING (Under $100)

This kindle (The price is a STEAL)  is sitting in my cart right now.(Update:  I clicked “Order now”)  I keep teetering with hitting purchase, or not.  (oh, I ordered it) Gah! I read A LOT (keep an eye out for a post on this, coming soon!) and mostly e-books and audio, so I know I would be doing my eyesight a favor, and it would also make my reading in bed much more comfortable, I can also read outside at the pool or beach (my iPad kindle app currently gets too hot in the sun and there is a glare)  But it is a bit pricey. Also, I would be lying if I didn’t say another thing pulling me is the adorable kindle covers like this, this , or this!  Ok, I caved and ordered the Oasis (Great price, could not resist) This is the case I  ended up ordering, personalized with my name : ) 

Take all my money! This is a cute (affordable) spring/summer lounge set

I know my mom will yell at me (“Don’t get wicker, it will be hard to clean #polishmoms) but I do love the fresh look of this (afforable!) bed and side table. I hate the bulkiness of my current bedroom furniture. I picture this with some pretty white sheer curtains and a white fluffy comforter, lots of pillows……ahhhh

Such a great jean jacket!

WOW! Someone buy  these gorgeous cocktail glasses! Then invite me over for a drink

These Target wicker bunnies are so sweet!

When life gives you lemons vibes

This is a great denim dress for summer

SHARING

One line reading prompt

I REALLY want to go to London – travel guide inspo

I really want to do an afternoon tea in NYC

What type of trip should you take according to your zodiac. Mine is SPOT ON!!! (solo, lol)

Been hearing a lot of Buzz about Poor Things (on Hulu) If you liked Saltburn (like my creepy mind did) this may be for you. I will check it out for sure!

This show is also giving major Saltburn vibes

Inspired to visit NYC soon and look at some art

VOMIT

A dollhouse bookish library. I am so jealous. I want to shrink myself and live here 

The Home Edit posted this HAPPY photo (inspo!)

I find myself weary of the constant struggle, the ceaseless battle within my mind and body. It weighs heavily not just on me, but also on those closest to me, particularly my mother, who bears the brunt of my internal battles. These thoughts, though mere phantoms to some, seem so real to me, like insidious impostors usurping my very identity. This unwelcome companion has lingered for what feels like an eternity, at least forty long years. Breaking free from its grip proves to be a daunting task.

I’ve come to recognize that I no longer require the company of this unwelcome guest, yet saying goodbye proves to be a challenge. Anger simmers within me for allowing this intruder such sway over my life, permitting it to dictate my every move and mood. The cycle of self-recrimination only exacerbates the turmoil, perpetuating the vicious spiral.

Some days, the burden feels lighter, the thoughts more subdued, almost comforting. Other days, however, the weight is crushing, suffocating any semblance of tranquility. All I yearn for is a sense of inner peace, a steadiness in my emotions. Yet, I acknowledge that such fluctuations are an inherent part of the human experience.

While many affirm that I am the master of my fate, navigating these tumultuous waters proves far from straightforward. If it were, I wouldn’t feel compelled to pour my heart out to the universe. I am cognizant of insanity as repeating the same actions while expecting different results. I understand that I hold the reins to my own life, that I am worthy and unique. So why, then, do I struggle to extend that same kindness to myself? Why is it so difficult to diffuse that which no longer serves me?

The familiarity and comfort, proves to be an adversary. It enraptures me, deceives me, and at times, offers a semblance of solace. Yet, these comforts are reminiscent of an abusive relationship, convincing me of their necessity.

Though it may seem surreal to personify these “thoughts” as separate entities, I am aware that we all grapple with our inner demons. The effort required to persist, to forge ahead, feels draining, yet capitulating to these forces exacts an even heavier toll. Still, I am gripped by fear – fear of trusting myself, fear of the unknown, fear of stagnation. Yet, I refuse to let fear dictate the course of my life.

I refuse to look back a decade from now, regretting that I remained mired in this same struggle. Change must happen now. I simply crave a guiding hand, a comforting embrace – a reassurance that everything will indeed be okay. I do need a hero (see above) 

And you know what? It will be.

On Reading Therapy

READING

A Place for Us – This is longer one at 400 pages, but I breezed through it. This is a slow burn story. This is a story of culture and family. It follows an Indian family of 5, their customs and values, and the lives of the parents and 3 children. The book begins with an Indian wedding and the families only son makes an appearance. He has been estranged for quite some time (reasons as to why will slowly seep in throughout the pages). This book is written through chapters of family members perspectives. The final chapter, is the fathers perspective , and to be honest it was quite difficult to read, recently losing my father. It reminded me so much of my own father, and many of the thoughts and beliefs he truly had but never really was able to verbalize or vocalize, because he just did not know how. This is a book that will stay with you for quite some time. It leaves you understanding so much more and taking a look at your own families beliefs.

Social Creature – This one gives major “Saltburn” vibes, without all the grossness (you KNOW what I am talking about (wink, wink) ) They go through both bottles of champagne right there on the High Line, with nothing but the stars over them… They drink and Lavinia tells Louise about all the places they will go together, when they finish their stories, when they are both great writers-to Paris and to Rome and to Trieste…

Lavinia will never go. She is going to die soon.

Last Call at the Local – this was such a sweet book. Total pallet cleanser. Adorable romance with gentleness, the characters are so likeable. OCD and ADHD are represented quite accurately, in my opinion. Also, this book makes me want to book my ticket to LONDON, ASAP!

Good Material – a break up story, from the mans perspective. So far super cheeky and some great pro-women banter.

The Stillwater Girls – my friend recommended this, and we have similar book tastes, she breezed through this thriller in a few hours, and I am right behind her. She was right! (free on kindle unlimited!)

Very Interested in reading this memoir about a writer living the first 60 years of their life as a man then going through a later in life gender transition.

2024 Most Anticipated New Reads

Patiently waiting for Leaving to release on Audio format!

THINKING

In honor of Eating Disorder awareness week coming to an end, I just read an interview with Sam Tyron, RD. They are a registered dietician with a focus on diet culture and the vilification of fatness. They have many great facts and stats about diet culture, fatness, and the huge disparity of black people in larger bodies. I suggest giving them a follow! I found myself pondering about the following:

How can we tell if our eating/food habits are actually a toxic diet in disguise?
Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you feeling morally superior to others, more disciplined, etc. because you eat a certain way? 
• Do you judge your worth differently when you choose certain foods compared to others? 
• Is the part of you that tells you to eat certain foods and avoid others coming from a place of fear?  
• Do you feel a lack of agency over your eating?  

All of these can be signs that societal acceptance is driving your food choices/eating habits.

Would love to hear your answer, if you are comfortable sharing!

On a lighter note, I wish I could spend my days researching and curating lists of books, from newest releases, debut novels, and author events. The thought of this brings me so much JOY. I try to incorporate little bits and pieces into my blogs and days, BUT it is a full-time job. It is a time-consuming hobby, which is a good problem to have 🙂
Bijal Shah has my dream job. She recently wrote Bibliotherapy: The Healing Power of Reading. She carefully curates lists of books for her clients to read. She incorporates literature into a therapeutic tool. How cool is this, right? My two favorite things. Books and people’s thoughts. Bibliotherapy is new to me but has been around for quite some time. It was coined in 1916 by Samuel McCord Crothers in the aptly entitled article ‘A Literary Clinic’, but as a concept it has been around for much longer, dating back to the times of the Ancient Greeks. Freud and George Eliot are prime historical examples.
I stand behind Shah in her approach and DO believe that literature and books have a certain healing power. I have learned many lessons from books, mostly FICTION, which may be a surprise. I love reading about healthy relationships, determining the signals of toxic ones, and understanding why some people succumb to adultery. I love hearing other people’s internal thoughts, they would NEVER share with the world, and realize that I am not so different. I am not so alone. I am not the only one feeling/experiencing certain thoughts or feelings.
Reading has also pulled me out of several depressive states. Filling me with hope and inspiration. It has transported me to places I have never been, some I would love to visit, others I have had my fill. It has brought back memories of people in my past and helped me deal with my grief.
Reading has opened my eyes to cultures and others that are NOT like me. I have learned to notice my judgments and determine how much of a role society plays in my own beliefs. I find myself too much sitting back and wondering “Oh my gosh, is someone watching me? This book is about ME!”. That is the best feeling in the world. It is what draws me into my little world. It is what pushes me to pick up another book and continue to read something new, or something similar.
Reading IS my therapy.

Taupe-less beach nail color is just so pretty!

Cute spring like clutch, under $30!

“eyeing” (haha) these readers for the sexy librarian look (under $20)

I’ll Call You and Tell You Things….

Finally a trend I can fully support and engage in! The Nerdy Librarian Geek chic fashion!!!

My mama is so ahead of the trend, this has been her favorite drink as of late, and looks like its making a comeback !

Kate Winslet’s new show premieres soon, and it looks SO GOOD

I AM SCREAMING with joy that my Adidas OG sambas came back into stock in my size. Picking them up today. Will report back (I LOVE THEM- Size down, they run a bit big)

WANTING

$20 high kicks that are on trend? Why not give them a try to see if you like them, guilt free. Here is a link to the original $900 pair. Let me know if you try them!

I *DO* need a new pair of sneakers, these are so cute ,and a bit retro

How cute is this slouchy bag (under $30)

The perfect cozy set in a buttery yellow to carry you through spring

these crocheted slippers are too cute to pass up

Boden’s spring collection includes this adorable raffia cross body bag

These Mary Janes just make me HAPPY

Such a pretty linen dress

VOMIT

99 compliments to give that are not about your appearance

My book club had the best discussion over The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs – even though we have varying thoughts and beliefs, this inspired SUCH a great conversation. Highly recommend if you are looking for an engaged discussion. It was so much fun to see and hear about everyone’s friendships!! *Don’t feel like reading ? Reach out to me and I’ll send you my recap notes on it ;).

My friend and I are going on our own little bookish reading retreat, and I can’t wait!

La Colombe coffee is the superior coffee

My friend is so talented, and creates some beautiful, inspirational, and wise art

On feeling content

READING

My anxiety has been sky high the past few weeks. I can’t find the source or reason, which I am certain includes many things and not just one culprit, regardlesss, my reading life has suffered as a result. I am struggling to find peace or joy with what I am reading. It has been a lot of starting and putting down, which is ok, but also annoying because i just want to get lost in something (possible to avoid the current discomfort I feel throughout my entire body)

I have settled on a few that are making me slow down and enjoy, both are backlist books, which hit the spot:

A Place for Us – this is a long, beautifully written and quiet story. I find myself thinking often of my students, and my own childhood experiences. A deep look into the cultural and familial aspects of an Indian family, beginning with the celebration of a wedding. This brought back many childhood memories of my own culture and differences, the yearning to fit in, not adept to the culture I was currently living daily. This story is beautiful and heartbreaking with every day life situations. A slow burn but enough to keep your attention. I feel like I am part of this family. It feels warm and cozy, even though there are difficult topics. After all, isn’t that the reality of life?

On the complete opposite spectrum, a book that is feeding my “Saltburn” hangover, is “Social Creature” – major “The Talented Mr. Ripley vibes” and rich girl/poor girl drama. Dark and intriguing.

A few I have picked up and put down, just because the timing was not right (I will go back to these, possibly)
The Husbands

The Summer Affair

Good Material

Have you read any of the above? Thoughts?

THINKING

My dream day and life

*****TW – Talk of disordered eating******

I wake without the sound of an alarm. My body feels light, there is no urgency or pull to go to the gym, move, or start my day. I lounge and rest and think about all the wonderful people and things in my life. I feel warm, safe, CONTENT.

I get up when I finally feel like it, I don’t take note of the time. I make myself a wonderful cup of coffee and add the creamer (without measuring anything out) until it is the color I like. Very light. I take a sip and wonder what I want for breakfast. I think I feel like pancakes, at the local cafe. I get dressed, slowly, into something warm and cozy, and make my way over to the cafe. I feel good. I am not hungry starving or angry because I want to eat right away. I am CONTENT.

I arrive, and order more coffee, in a pretty kettle, I can self-pour when I want. Of course, all the accompaniments surround it. I add what I want. I also get some juice. Orange today. I browse the menu. So much looks so good, what do I want? I think I will try a few different things. The pancakes, of course, with all the fixings, and I also want the fruit/yogurt/granola parfait, for now, I will start with these.

I eat and enjoy. Not reading anything, not scarfing down to avoid thinking about the calories. I eat slowly, enjoy every bite, and wonder about the care put into making this meal for me. How great it is to have a lazy morning, with someone else preparing for me. After I eat, I drink more coffee and order a few pastries to go. I nibble on a few on my car ride home.

When I get home, I read a bit, in bed, my cozy little nook. When I finish the chapter, I shower and think about the rest of my day. The museum has a new exhibit, that may be fun! Why not? I go.

The museum is wonderful. I take my time, see what I want, and read the captions. I write down in my notebook a few of the artists and styles I like.

Next to the museum is a cool bookstore that I never have been in. I grab a chai tea latte inside and wander. Touching, looking, and reading all the books I judge by their covers. I buy a few without thinking about the cost or that I could easily get these at the library or Amazon. I think about how lovely they will look on my new built-in bookcase (with window seating of course)

I stop at a cafe for a little treat and to watch people. I sit and just watch. quiet, slow. Wonder where each person is going? What is their life like? What do they do for a living?

I am CONTENT. I do not feel like going home yet (The house is clean and organized, I have nothing to do there). The weather is perfect. The sun feels so good on my skin.
There is a jazz bar nearby. I still have some time before the players arrive, I will walk around and browse the lovely little shops. Smell the perfumes, touch the fabrics, and make a few purchases, without guilt. I feel so good. I am warm, content, and not thinking about food, exercise, or calories.

I make my way over to the low-lit, speakeasy-styled jazz bar. They are setting up. I find the perfect table and begin to read one of the books I bought today. I am not thinking about food or drink or money. When the waitress finally comes over, I ask for the menu, instead of ordering my “safe” go-to items. I want something spicy to drink, something I can take my time with, sip on, and savor. I order the spicy cocktail that is amazing and ask for snacks to go along with it. Crackers, nuts, olives, cheeses (vegan) pretzels (oh gosh, pretzels, YUM) I try each item to see which tastes best with my drink. I decided the pretzels were the perfect combination. The salty pretzels and the slight sweetness and spice of my drink are perfect. I don’t count the number of pretzels I eat, I don’t notice if the bowls get lower or empty. I don’t even notice when the waitress refills my drink and brings more snacks. I am just sitting, enjoying. Not a thought in the world about food or movement.

The jazz band is excellent. I can stay here, I am CONTENT. I am not hungry, thinking about getting home to eat something. I am not worried that I have sat more today than moved/walked. I just am. I am enjoying this. It feels so good. Warm, safe, perfect

When I finish, I call an Uber to take me home. No urgency, because I am CONTENT. My cat is waiting for me at home, not worrying about what I may walk into. Will he be drunk? High? No, no one is there, besides my cat, and maybe the perfectly trained cute pup I just adopted? Yes, it is quiet, but I love it. I have people in my life that I love and that love me. I have met many interesting people today and have my fill of socialization. The cute, smart guy at the museum also had a notebook. The small group of women in their 50s at the jazz bar

It was fun. It was fulfilling. I feel CONTENT

I can’t wait to do this again but it will be completely different. Different foods, different places, different people. It is not the same. It is never the same unless I want it to be

IS THIS WHAT LIVING CAN BE?

SHARING

I look forward to reading Hitha’s substack each and every Sunday. This week she includes a challenge which I feel is wonderful and so eye opening. It encourages you to think about your days on a health, wellness, social, work aspect and just like on a tick timer, rate and journal about what your day looks like at a level 0, 3, and 5 (5 being the best). Here is the actual prompt she includes:

• Journal what a level 0, level 3, and level 5 days look like for you
• Go deeper in each of these days and make note of these specific areas:
  • Sleep
  • Meals
  • Exercise
  • How you spend your personal time
  • Time with your loved ones
• Take a look at your level 3 & 5 things in these categories, and highlight the ones that feel fairly easy and effortless. Write them down in a separate note in your phone or wherever you keep your notes to help reference when you’re having a level 0-1 day

A level 5 day for me would be glorious. I would love to find a way to achieve the sensation more. My “5” day would include

• feeling content in my body and mind (food, movement, mental health)
• Feeling energized and alive
• Full of excitement and energy 
• Wanting the day to feel endless
• Not spending the majority of the day thinking about food – eating what I want, when I want, and not second guessing or dissecting decisions
• 1-2 hours of social time with someone I enjoy/feel safe around
• Joints feel great
• No stomach issues
• My chest feels light
• My head is clear
• My voice is strong and loud and outspoken
• Speaking up when something does not feel/sit right with me
• Having patience (with myself and others)
• Enjoying the moments, instead of waiting for them to end or getting to the next thing
• Rest without guilt

What does a level 0, 3, 5 day look like for you?

New cocktail vocabulary, for those of you that adore cocktails as I do. I am definitely not a fruit bat, and do not consider myself a “civilian” 😉

This new show sounds pretty incredible, have you watched “One Day” yet?

Wow, at 79, she has visited EVERY country in the world! #goals

One of my goals this year is to have more fun, do more things I enjoy/love, and shake my routine up a bit, So I am excited that I just booked tickets and a hotel to the Hamptons Whodunit festival. I AM SO EXCITED!! So many great authors, signings and activities!!!

Would you spend $50 on a box of croissant cereal?

WANTING

Doen has such lovely things, like this flirty, feminine top

How fabulous is this rotating puzzle tray! I want!

Super cute set, for summer

Pretty potting table (mom this would look great in your sun room!)
The sweetest mini for summer

Summer lovin’

press for champagne (adore this!)

really pretty dress (under $100)

Love the green AND the blue color in this adorable set

have and love this little shell earrings! #excitedforsumma

Love the color and style of this swimsuit!

My friend just posted herself wearing these stunning Lucite Post drop earrings. Jaw drop!

A pair of chunky hoops that look designer (under $15)

While in Target yesterday, a few things caught my eye including this pillow, and these glasses

Another great trouser pant to wear with my new adidas kicks (will they ever come back in stock in my size?)

Currently loving this nail color, which is also on trend, if that matters to you 🙂

What a pretty lamp for a library/study/sitting room

ADORE this chaise/chair/lounger

VOMIT

Can’t wait for this installment of “Wicked”, but really November 2024? Whyyyyyy soooooo longggg

Very much looking forward to watching the summer olympics :). The last time the summer olympics were on, my mom and I traveled to Canada, it was the BEST trip ever. We had a cozy little airbnb and the best part of the trip, the evenings I spent with my dad on the couch watching the summer olympics. <3. So much joy.

My word of the year = CONTENT

Old School

I recall a time when I was much smaller and much younger, trying to fit in and look “cool”. Middle school, ahhhhh, remember those fun days and years?
I recall wanting certain fashion pieces that my mom insisted “These were in style when I was young”, and I gave a little eye roll and went on my merry way, begging for the latest fashion, so I too could be a cool girlie.

These were times I wanted to fit in. I had a brother who was non-verbal and on the spectrum. Came from a Polish-speaking family. I Ate Polish foods and had unique traditions. Now I see how amazing those things were, but when I was 11, all that mattered was fitting in and being cool.
I thought I could achieve that status by having the right clothes and shoes (Silly me, I WAS already cool, duh!) which makes me reminisce of Umbro and adidas, or when my scrunchie had to match my socks 🙂

Today I love style and fashion, but what I love most about it, is how unique it is to everyone. As much as I can appreciate fancy designer finds, I find myself always reaching for comfort.
This leads me down the rabbit hole of the current Adidas gazelle sneaker trend I am seeing everywhere. I love them. I want them. I have my fingers crossed that they will be comfy. I often dream of lazy mornings. Set me up in a cozy spot with a great cup of coffee, some newsletters, or a great book, and just allow time to slip away. Not worried about all the things I should be doing, a to-do list, or the calories I should be expend instead. When I attempt this, my body and brain react, they fight me and tell me stories, that I “know” aren’t true, yet they are so LOUD and so believable. I want to enjoy life more. The simple pleasures. The moments of stillness, breathing, listening. Like many of you, my weeks are nonstop. I feel from 5 am – 8 pm I am constantly on the go. Rushing and moving from one place to another, without much thought. Then the weekend arrives and there is space to slow down, yet I struggle to do so. My brain and body panic. They tell me this is NOT right. I need to fill my days, live my life, and make smart choices. Use each minute of my day in a PRODUCTIVE way. After all, I am often joyless and unhappy, so the ONLY way to achieve this greatness is by…..doing more. Yet that does not seem right either and is NOT working. Yet the thought of changing things. Not having a plan. Being intuitive on a whim, terrify me to no avail. My stomach begins to cramp, I begin to sweat, and I try to think of OTHER things. I make lists of things I can/should/want to do. Projects I can work on. Research I can do. I punish myself for having those simple thoughts, of a life less in motion, more in stillness. I can imagine I am not alone in this, as often I think I am, I write posts like this only to get so many reactions from others with “Me, too!!!”. I am tired of having a plan, and using every minute of the day “wisely”. Expending more calories than I consume. Why are we so wrongly led to believe this is how we should live? Why is there so much guilt and shame revolved around rest? Why is softness considered so “bad”? It is challenging to navigate and battle these thoughts when the world around you keeps alive the powerful messages that we must always do more, be more, and improve. This prevents many of us from actually achieving what we need and want. I know for a fact, that it has consumed so much of my time and energy that I know I need to make changes, yet I need someone to hold my hand and tell me it’s ok. I wish I were at the point where my voice was the only one I needed, but for now, I need a little more. I am grateful to those around me, whether they know it or not, who give me the hope that one day, freedom can truly become a reality.

source

Adidas gazelles first made its way into our world way back in 1966. Not only could they stand the test of time as being a training shoe, they were also stylish and today can be worn many ways, for many looks. The originals were only available in red and blue (retro) but today you can get them in pretty much any color and materials (suede? leather?). Currently my vibe is the retro red for many things, including those Gazelles, in suede.

Over the years, the shoe has gone through some transitions, yet continues to still maintain their basic framework. I am excited to get my own pair and try to style them in a variety of ways, but more importantly I am seeking comfort. I will report back, but in the meantime, here are a few of my favorite looks and ways I myself plan to wear them!

I love the look of pairing them with a slouchy trouser

Trouser, Target find trouser,

Would look great with some cropped jeans like these, or the ones I currently own for MUCH less

Adidas sambas, crop jean, crop jean that I own

Love the red

Adidas Gazelle (red)

Adidas Samba