READING
I have been lost in my summer reading. Days go by where I mix reality with my novels. It is such a lovely feeling! Here is what I have recently read with a few words about each, always email or text me for questions or recommendations:
Community Board (If you like quirky, you will enjoy this!) , All That Is Mine I Carry With Me (Mystery, missing mother, did the father do it? Twisty and turn-y) , This is How I Lied (Dark thriller with twists), She Started It (Fun thriller, but not very believable) , Life’s Too Short(Romantic, emotional and reflective love story), I Could Live Here Forever(tragic love story, addiction, emotional) , In the Likely Event (KINDLE DEAL)(2 story lines – then and now, old lovers reunite romance trope), The Rachel Incident (Dark, Love triangle, messy, set in Ireland), A Likely Story (contemporary, a book about a book, family drama)
THINKING
On Decision Making – Decision Paralysis. When you just can’t make up your mind. How relatable!
Summertime Sadness. I suffer, do you?
The above article sparked something in me, or clarified something for me, more like. This summer has been different. I have noticed the past few summers, the “summer scaries” creeping in, but this summer, just like the temps, feels stagnant and the scaries are more nightmarish.
As a teacher, there is an unbalance in our schedules. End of August through June we are non-stop, stressed, overwhelmed, ready to snap at any minute. Then June ends and it all ….stops. This is my first summer NOT working (because yes, teachers have summers off, but most can’t afford not to work) and I do NOT believe that has much to do with my temperament. There is a lingering sense of dread, fear, and unease that fills my body and mind on a daily basis. Therapy, talking with friends/family, and daily motion, help but do not take this discomfort away.
Ah, there it is. The “D word”. My biggest fear. Discomfort. More than anything. I dread feeling uncomfortable. I feel it physically and emotionally throughout my body. Summer depression. Luckily, I love being outside, and dread being indoors for too long (that is another topic itself). So I am active and continuously doing things. Maybe that is part of the problem? I don’t know how to stop. Slow down. Savor and enjoy. Then panic and axiety arise. “I am just wasting away this precious time I have, before I know it I will be back at school and WISHING for these moments of stillness”. This is unhelpful too. Beating myself up for NOT appreciating my summer ease. Then there is the death of my father. Along with that comes indescribable sadness and yearning for him and our times and memories. I see him in everything I do, everywhere I do. Exasperated by the high temps (Which never seemed to phase him all too much). It is difficult to visit places once loved, as all that I have is memories, which too, I am grateful for and NEVER want to fade, but there is that feeling I dread more than anything, DISCOMFORT. It hurts. I want to push those feelings away, yet at the same time I want to remember each and every single detail. My body and mind feel tightly twisted. I want to run, yet I also want to stay and remember.
Then there is the whole concept of “summer bodies” that we have been conditioned for months to “Work hard for”. Since birth we are told that we must start sculpting and contorting things to look good in that bathing suit. It is nauseating. This is what our culture pushes and takes pride in? What about EVERYTHING else. The picnics, the summer sounds, the laid back feelings. The get togethers with great food and drink. The lazy days lounging and reading either by a pool or in a nice cool spot. It is tiresome and far from being a thing of the past. How often on the beach do you see stares or comments about bodies that “Should not be wearing that”. Again, it is tiresome. Schooling others on life, choices, and that there really is not perfect body. Every body is a gift. We so quickly forget that.
So yes, many love the idea of summer. For me the longer days, bright sunshine, humid temps are painful for me in more ways than not. I want them to pass but at the same time want to stay and enjoy and take in the precious time I have. Bitter Sweet summer days.
WANTING
DROOLING over these fall boots, that I will never be able to afford!
I can picture myself having my morning coffee or afternoon cocktail on this easy European-vibed patio set
Adorable (and affordable) Shell earrings!
Not proud BUT I do receive a lot of boxes, this box cutter is perfect for opening (instead of reaching for my keys or pen when I need to open a package!)
What a chic two piece to put on after the beach!
Pull that hair back while on your picnic with this adorable and affordable claw clip!
SHARING
I am thinking of heading to a Bookish event at the end of August, Having fun planning a mini literary inspired trip :). Will post more once I pull the trigger 🙂
Some picnic finds I love
Hello Beautiful, Picnic Basket kit, tray, 2 piece outfit, Large Jenga
The BEST Beach/picnic tote!!!
This HEAT is a killer, I am using and loving this anti-acne spray when I get hot and sweaty and am unable to immediately shower. Life saver!
Just ordered myself this LARGE airtight glass storage container (with labels) to store things like crackers, cookies, party leftovers
Love the simple texture of these vases (set of 3) to keep all those summer clippings fresh and pretty
Coffee Chalk 